Self-love. Advantages and disadvantages

Psychologists believe: a person just needs to value himself, cherish and cherish

Self-confidence, self-respect and creativity are in vogue today. People who love themselves tend to be successful. But where is she, this fine line, between self-care and narcissistic narcissism?

Probably, many have noticed an interesting fact: sometimes very kind and sympathetic people are not appreciated, but on the contrary, they try to use them for their own purposes and, figuratively speaking, “sit on their necks”. Why? One of the reasons is that such individuals do not know how to love and respect themselves, do not have their own opinion and are not able to defend their interests. This is what others use, trying in every possible way to "load" such people, creating the appearance of their importance. But in reality, alas, they are not considered anything. The fact is that people who do not value themselves are "read" by others at a subconscious level. And at the same level, their behavior is perceived by us as unnatural. This means that it evokes negative emotions even if this is a kind-hearted person who will not offend a fly.

That is why one should learn to love oneself from childhood. This will make it possible to lead a fulfilling life, and not drag out the miserable existence of a universal pleaser.

Praise yourself!

But what if you yourself feel that you clearly dislike yourself?

There are special exercises with which you can learn to love yourself. But first you need to deal with the signs that clearly indicate a lack of love for oneself. They are as follows:

You feel guilty whether there is a reason or not;

You are haunted by thoughts about your own imperfection, shortcomings, bad luck, and so on;

You try to make excuses even in response to compliments;
- you have a so-called stiffness, stooped back and a sad expression on your face;
- you often remember your failures and unpleasant situations, replaying them in memory over and over again.

If you find at least a few of these signs in yourself, you may not like yourself a little. So, it's time to move on to action to overcome the situation!

There are a huge number of techniques in this area. They all boil down to one thing - praise yourself as often as possible. Why, you ask? For a deliciously cooked breakfast, for a well-done job, but you never know for what! As they say, there would be a desire, but there will always be a reason. At the same time, try not to dwell on what did not work out, but if you have something to praise yourself for, be sure to do it. Think back to praiseworthy actions and praise yourself again.

Are you sad, in a bad mood, are you stressed? Make yourself a present! It can be going to the cinema, a delicious lunch, new clothes or shoes, reading an interesting book, a cup of coffee in your favorite cafe ...

It doesn't hurt to learn to talk to your reflection in the mirror. To start, just smile at him. Then you can wink and make an accomplice in all your affairs. Of course, real support from such a "companion" cannot be obtained, but moral support will be, as they say, on your face.

As you begin to adhere to these rules, you will soon notice that your life has begun to gradually change for the better. And this is not surprising, because those around them perceive a person who loves themselves in a different way.

Self-love and spirituality

It should also be remembered that a person has the right to like himself and love himself as he is, with all his characteristics and shortcomings. Moreover, every person has the right to be what he is, and should not be ashamed of this, let alone be ashamed. This understanding of the self-worth of a person is not taken "from the ceiling", many famous psychologists, healers and psychics came to him.

Among other things, self-love, increased attention, turning a gaze inside oneself sometimes make one see whole tangle of unraveled grievances, understand, forgive and accept them. And all this is very important from the standpoint of spiritual development. In this regard, the technology of developing self-love, proposed by psychologists, with small variations, is as follows:

Forgive yourself for sins and unseemly actions, both real and imaginary;

Accept yourself as you are (appearance, character, interests, etc.);

Begin to delight yourself (food, clothing, pleasure, etc.);

Stop paying attention to criticism from others;

Try to mentally use affirmations - statements that contain a clear image of the goal or state that you want to achieve.

Two big differences

Unfortunately, each of these techniques has a downside. It is not enough just to do them mechanically. The benefits of positivity have not yet been canceled, but in order for these techniques to lead to true self-love, as well as happiness and success in life, a deeper understanding of the problem is necessary. That is, it is not enough just to hang the sign “I am the best” on the mirror and look at it every day. You need to try to find in your mind, feelings and soul something original, individual, true, for which you can love yourself.

Loving yourself means loving your individuality, and not just your momentary desires and any mental waste accumulated over the years of your life. Indulging yourself and loving yourself are two big differences. Self-indulgence is a direct road to selfishness. Selfishness will make you even more lonely and unhappy. You need to open your individuality, treat yourself with patience and trust, and not just mechanically repeat that you are the most wonderful person in the world.

Loving yourself globally means not only respecting your own individuality. If you look more broadly, this is love for the life process itself, the beauty that we see every day (you just need to be able to see it), for other people, close to us and not very much, for knowledge, for the Universe as a whole.

Do not forget that love is a process that is either present or not.

True feeling

Self-love is based on a deep rethinking of all life values. Awareness of the equality of oneself and others, the equality of ideas, beliefs, feelings. Love is a continuous connection between living beings. If, being among strangers, you do not feel anything for them, then there is no love. That is, you do not love yourself either. Loving yourself and loving your neighbors are one and the same.

Thus, if you try to love yourself, guided only by technology, the result will not be very impressive. This does not mean that technology is bad in and of itself. They should be used as a tool for solving particular problems. We need to start with them. Accepting yourself as you are is a prerequisite for the first step. Forgiving yourself everything and everyone is also an absolutely necessary condition. Affirmations can be used without restriction. But these are just the first steps, not even steps, but a launching pad for the first steps - there is a long road ahead. The road of self-love.

Most people would like to work for themselves. Of course, this gives a lot of advantages, but do not forget that there are also minor disadvantages.

What are the pros and cons of someone who decides to become his own boss?

Hours worked

Pros: When you are your own boss, you have freedom of choice. You decide when and how much you work. This allows you to plan your time more productively. You can always find a free moment for your hobby, for your family and for your friends. Once you've made enough money, you can always take a week's vacation without warning anyone in advance.

Minuses: The reality is that people who work for themselves usually work twice as much as those who work for the boss. This is because earning money in your wallet is very difficult to stop, it always seems that you can earn more. Also, the absence of bosses can lead to a lack of discipline. It's hard to get yourself to work when no one is watching you.

Making decisions

Pros: If you work for yourself, you control your business yourself, make your own decisions and make your own choices when necessary. Nobody imposes their opinion on you. You do as you see fit.

Minuses: On the other hand, when you are your own boss, your success depends entirely on your own decisions. Every wrong step will cost you money. No one will tell you whether you are doing the right thing or not. All responsibility lies solely with you. This is risky if you are an overly emotional or indecisive person.

Earnings

Pros: Nothing is more attractive to work for yourself than the financial side. There is no limit to how much you can earn when you are your own boss. The amount of your income depends only on you. The more hardworking you are and the more interesting your ideas are, the more money you will receive as a result.

Minuses: When you work for a boss, you are confident that you will receive a specific amount of money on a specific day, so it is easier for you to calculate your budget. Plus it gives you a sense of security. You know for sure that you will not be left without money, even if the amount is not very large.

Place of work

Pros: When you are your own boss, you decide which is more convenient for you - working from home or renting an office. You customize your workplace according to your personal tastes and preferences.

Minuses: Not everyone can afford to rent an office at their own expense, and working from home threatens that you will be constantly distracted. It is difficult to focus on something serious when you are at home, where you are used to relaxing and resting.

Today, there are a lot of opportunities to work for yourself, and it doesn't matter what you do: write articles, do translation, design or recruitment.

Working for yourself, you certainly get a lot of benefits. The most obvious ones include a free work schedule, the ability to prove yourself outside of your specialty, the ability to influence your income, the ability to work from almost any place (with a phone and / or computer), and, of course, psychological freedom from superiors.

You act as a director of your own cinema, you can work whenever you want, where you want, rest at any time and as much as you want. This does not mean, however, that you can leave your clients so easily, but you can take a break as soon as the opportunity arises.

You can also work for yourself, even if you work internally. If at your main job you are tired of the monotony and you have a little free time, you can take a part-time job, for example, in the form of translations, and thus support your knowledge of foreign languages, or, if you are a creative person at heart, you can earn extra money, for example making video editing from weddings. Such part-time jobs will provide not only additional income, but also the opportunity to show those skills of yours that are not used in your main job.

There is another obvious plus in working for yourself: you are forced to acquire new skills. Since you are on your own, you yourself must take care of where to get clients, sell yourself to them, i.e. convincing them why they should work with you, and not with a trusted company, you will have to master the basics of accounting and, of course, you will have to overcome laziness and learn how to effectively plan your working time.

But besides the advantages, there are, of course, disadvantages in working for yourself. And these shortcomings are more likely to be hidden, they usually begin to be realized after a while.

Since in working for yourself you are left to yourself, you master new knowledge and skills up to a certain point, then you stop growing above yourself, and you have no one to learn from, there is no leader or team from whom you can learn something new.

Just as you get the opportunity to influence your income, you also become dependent on your clients. Working within the company, you receive a stable fixed income, regardless of the number of clients and the market situation. In the worst case, you will be able to move to a new company and receive your income there. When you work for yourself, you are 100% dependent on your efforts and the market situation; in a bad scenario, you can be left not only without income, but also with debts.

In addition, when you start working for yourself, you enter a kind of race for great results and, accordingly, income. Of course, this is useful for some time for you as a person, while everything is new, but as a result, there remains work for the sake of work, boredom comes from monotony and you just get tired.

What decision should you make? Which is better: working for yourself or within the company? Everyone will answer this question himself, starting from their capabilities and the presence of an adventurous streak. But, we can say with confidence that the experience of working for yourself will give you confidence, because you will learn how to behave in difficult situations, make important decisions and take responsibility for the result, and, therefore, no matter how the market changes, you will not be scare the possibility of losing your job. You just know that you can always organize it yourself.

“Personally, I decided not to get married at all! And what ... one is somehow calmer. I want halva, I want gingerbread ... "- exclaimed the heroine of the amazing film" Girls "after the" betrayal "of her friend.

And that's true! - “One is somehow calmer! Let's try to look "behind the scenes" ...

"My own mistress" is a very powerful argument. Judge for yourself.

YOU decide what furniture, what car, what kind of vacation you want. No Compromise! You YOURSELF decide which channel to watch on TV and when you go to bed! YOU CAN get yourself any animal - even a snake and a Madagascar cockroach - no one will say a word to you. Provided, of course, that you will follow them and carefully look after them. Only neighbors can constitute a "danger". And the neighbors will bother you - you can go to a separate house! At this point, a digression should be added - since she is free from many loads that are inherent in married women - she is able to earn on such an entourage. Otherwise, everything is much less positive. Below it will be clear why.

So, I DECIDE ALL BY MYSELF.

I live with my personal refrigerator, which contains only those products that I NEED. I have always considered the indisputable advantage of such a lifestyle - you can, even without a strong will, support any diet! And you will not ache ... well, there is something inside when you come home from work in the evening and you, in order for your figure to be perfect, you can drink only yogurt or kefir. And in the fridge is baked veal. Which the family hasn't eaten yet .. And you ... take out a sharp knife and cut yourself a few ... more than you should have! more ... a piece of aromatic rye bread - well, what dry biscuits for cold veal! ... And that's all ... You put off your diet FOR TOMORROW. With all the consequences ... And if there is NO cold veal in your refrigerator, you take your own yoghurt and, with a plaintive gurgle of your stomach, with a feeling of DEEP satisfaction, go to bed. This, by the way, is a wonderful feeling, especially in the morning. If you managed to "resist" in the evening a tasty treat prepared for your spouse, he does not toil with an "imperfect figure"! - in the morning you feel like a winner! Agree, having a full refrigerator of food for your household is extremely difficult! How much easier it is for a woman living alone! One can sincerely envy. She has a lot more tools to keep her body in perfect shape! Just to rejoice, looking in the mirror, and not in order to please men, not (us) !!! And, if a woman, who is expected by a man every night in bed, spends calories on sex, "a woman with an empty refrigerator" - can pedal the simulator in front of the TV, launching her favorite movie or foreign language course! In order to consolidate knowledge of a foreign language in bed with a man, it would be good to have a foreign husband, at least! Will you say not an advantage? Yes, even what!

Of course, if you knocked over a pan with something in the kitchen, you YOURSELF must remove this puddle, without any help. But you YOURSELF knocked her over and blame her hands and assholes! And nothing is annoying. And if your spouse did it, and you just did the cleaning, and THIS, from the pan, went numb under all the cabinets and legs ... And the spouse just turned awkwardly! Feel the difference!

You can lead the lifestyle that is interesting to you, attend those concerts that you like, and you will not be ashamed that “in the middle of Chopin”, next to you you will hear disgusting snoring, drowning out the lovely trills. You can choose with whom to go to the concert, without fear of stumbling upon an angry protest - this also happens.

In our time, the advantages of the "female self" are much greater than any ten to twenty years ago. What about the disadvantages?

So FAMILY. We will not consider partnerships that are changing in composition, they are, rather, a sign of "SELF". What good is to have a permanent husband-partner. It is not appropriate to talk about procreation and children - many "independent" women decide to do it alone. Bad option, but not about that now.

EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAS "PROS" AND "MINUS". And, even if the minuses come to mind first, -

OH- Never twists the tube of paste and it flows out onto the bathroom shelf! HE keeps the shaving razor clean (doesn’t wash the shaved parts of the beard out of the electric shaver in the sink). HE throws his socks around. HE puts things of a different color into the washing machine! HE is watching FOOTBALL !!! HE steps over the fallen piece of paper twenty times and will not do anything. HE sharpens knives, without even warning you about it-take a knife-think-stupid-and he-on you-and blood streams! HE spends RUNNING money on wobblers, spinning rods, membrane clothing, generally equipment for fishing (hunting, mountaineering and something that I don't even know what is called ..) HE buys for HIMSELF radio-controlled cars !!! And with the same "psychos" - participates in competitions all weekend! HE will never buy exactly what is needed in the store if he does not go with the photographs of the labels! HE does not look at the sale date on the products! HE puts the purchases in the bag in a jumble! HE goes to the tire fitting just when we were going to go to my mother! HE constantly giggles at your conversations with your girlfriends. HE will never accept, unconditionally, the clothes you have chosen! She will also say, "for that kind of money ?!" HE does not understand why salon procedures are so expensive! And finally, HE eats ice cream with you, knowing that just yesterday you went on a diet! You can endlessly enumerate HIS shortcomings. BUT the pluses will certainly coexist with the minuses-

HE HIMSELF can solve all major problems. HE will come to you immediately if your car stopped or you got into an accident. HE on the phone can tell you "which button you need to press" on anything. HE knows what kind of oil is in your car and will not be mistaken as a seller! HE knows how a screwdriver differs from a drill and you do not need to bother with this garbage. HE will allow you to paint something yourself, and may even agree with the color you have chosen! HE himself carries bags and everything heavy. And if he does not wear it himself, he organizes it himself. HE himself will sort out domestic conflicts with third parties. HE, at the right time, will support, agree and keep silent. And also, HE will forgive you that you are SUCH A WOMAN! And instead of a simulator, you will have quality sex, which is also more useful than a simulator. If HE is next to you, not a single infection dares to address you with some vile words. If you cannot make a decision, but they are pressing on you, you will call HIS-HE just stand by, and everything will be formed at once. If you have OH, you can not worry that they will make expensive and bad repairs to you. And in general, repairs are not your concern. And, finally! -He is smart, it's just interesting to talk to him in the evening by the fireplace, which you have in your country house, which you have thanks to HIS efforts. And it is unnecessary to insert your "five kopecks" that you, while he was improving your common life, fed him, treated him, made sure that he was warmly dressed and looked for him, somewhere tucked in by him, a scarf, and collected behind him socks! Something we must do for ourselves!

Of course, these are collective images - only some part of the signs will suit everyone. And therefore, women should treat the MINUSES with humor and wisdom, and with understanding and faith to the PLUSES.

And, even if we decided that there are more minuses in living together than pluses, we should not prove our “rightness”!

How is Berkovsky? "Everyone chooses for himself ..."! Why put in dignity your "LONELY", if in a different "LONELY" someone lives much better ...

Each person is unique, and the psychotype of the personality is undoubtedly influenced by all the planets. And yet there are patterns. It is very important where the Sun was at the moment of birth. It is this position that is the basis for determining the type of character of a person according to the signs of the zodiac.

Knowing your strengths and weaknesses in advance makes it easier to discover your abilities, develop your strengths and deal with your weaknesses. And you can also better understand your colleagues, friends, relatives and loved ones.
ARIES:
Pros:
+ Birthday in spring
+ Impulsive
+ Emotional
Minuses:
- Hot-tempered
- Jealous
- Aggressive (it's better not to even try to argue with them)
TAURUS:
Pros:
+ Persistent in achieving their goals
+ Get what they want
Minuses:
- Stubborn
- Jealous
- Maybe a despot
TWINS:
Pros:
+ Adequate
+ Funny
+ A lot of emotions, full of life

+ Energetic
+ Always full of new ideas
Minuses:
- The mood is changeable
- Constantly need renewal of sensations and emotions

- In the eternal search
CANCER:
Pros:
+ Emotionality
+ Birthday in the middle of summer
+ Sociability
+ Reliable and loyal in relationships and friendships
+ Many people dream of becoming cancer
Minuses:
- Excessive emotionality
- Changeable mood
- Prone to alcoholism
- Can't take criticism
- Unsightly Cancer Status on the Internet
A LION:
Pros:
+ The king of people, animals and in general the king
+ Birthday in summer
+ Purposeful
+ Faithful
+ Generous
+ Brave
+ Always help those in need, advice, business or financially.
Minuses:
- Megalomania
- Stubborn
- conceited
- Just try to point out to him his cons - you can spend the rest of your life in the hospital
VIRGO:
Pros:
+ You are neat
+ When necessary, you can restrain yourself, and vice versa, throw out emotions
+ Intellectually developed
+ You are observant, know how to analyze errors
+ You have natural charm
+ You can listen, understand, give advice
Minuses:
- Looking for love for a long time and starting a relationship
- Sometimes too neat and tidy, it infuriates many
- You often complain about life
- Offended with or without
- Jealous, even to handsome men from TV series
SCALES:
Pros:
+ Calm, adequate
+ Honest
+ The only sign that represents an inanimate object
+ Sociable, attract other people
+ Responsible
+ Achieve the set goals
+ Compliance of the inner world and the outer
+ Always full of new ideas
Minuses:
- The mood is changeable
- They don't know what they want
- Too dependent on the opinions of friends of acquaintances
- Much like children
- Always need the support of friends
SCORPION:
Pros:
+ Activist
+ Know how to benefit
+ You bring it to the end
+ Responsible and purposeful + Good in bed
+ Loyal and reliable friend
+ Mysterious and enigmatic
+ Has his own opinion
Minuses:
- Very jealous
- Owner
- Selfish
- Slightly depressed
- Spiteful
SAGITTARIUS:
Pros:
+ You are funny
+ You are charming
+ You are brave
+ Nothing is impossible for you
+ Every 5th celebrity is a Sagittarius
+ Brad Pitt is also a Sagittarius
+ You are loved by the opposite sex
+ If you are a girl, then you probably have a beautiful figure
+ If you are a guy, then you are probably tall
+ You are kind
+ You love helping people
+ You have a very good memory
+ You cannot be fooled
+ You are more lucky than the rest of the zodiac signs
Minuses:
- People think you are an idiot
- If you are bored, then you become aggressive
- Most likely, you do not seek to get married / get married.
- Love to eat
- You are too straightforward
- Treasure your freedom too much
- Remember the offense for a long time
- Sloppy
- Unreliable
- Rude
- A little selfish
CAPRICORN:
Pros:
+ Purposeful
+ Stubborn as rams (that is, goats)
+ Get what they want
+ Hardy
+ Always come out dry
+ Faithful
+ Absolutely crazy, never boring with them
+ Leaders
+ Spare no effort for their goal
Minuses:
- Many consider them evil

- They are hard to endure
- Prone to depression
- They love to mock themselves and others
- Vengefulness
- Selfishness
- Striving for power
- If, nevertheless, they have not achieved their goal, they fall into the deepest depression and hate everything around.
AQUARIUS:
Pros:
+ You are a genius
+ You are great at understanding people
+ You are kind
+ You have a lot of friends
+ Everyone loves you
+ You have a great sense of humor
+ Most likely you are an awesome artist / musician / poet, etc.
+ You are very beautiful
+ You are free and only do what you want
Minuses:
- Nobody understands you
- Due to the fact that you are smart, you are constantly asked to write off / solve / help with your studies
- You don't know how to say no
- You still don't know how to say no
- You react too emotionally to everything
- Many (read - all) think you are strange
- You do not understand why they are offended at you, you do everything from noble motives
- You will never marry / get married because you value freedom too highly
- It is easy for you to sit on your neck
- Do you believe that all people are kind and even inveterate hooligans you think are pretty
FISHES:
Pros:
+ Gifted
+ Kind and generous
+ Are receptive to new ideas and circumstances.
+ Feelings of compassion
+ Often sacrifice their own interests for the sake of others
+ Do charity work
Minuses:
- scattered
- Difficult to understand by other people
- They can be so subtle, sensitive and emotional people that in the end, because of their kind soul, they will lose a lot of funds.
- Fickle, gossips, reckless and gullible people.
- It's easy to mislead them
- Emotionally reserved
- Melancholic