Mentor tone

An expression that came into our speech from deep antiquity. Namely, from those times when the compulsory subjects in educational institutions were dead languages ​​- Latin and Greek. Together with these languages, lyceum and high school students studied scientists and poets who wrote in these languages.

It is in this way that in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries among the nobility (and not only among scientists), the myths and heroes of ancient Greece became known. These heroes and various occasions associated with their names could not help but become part of the everyday life of Russian literature and poetry. In Pushkin, all kinds of Melpomene and Terpsichore are found very often, especially in his early works.

One of the most famous descriptions of the myths of ancient Greece was (and still is) Homer's poem The Odyssey. In one of the episodes of the poem, its protagonist Odysseus, going to war with Troy, instructs a friend to look after his son during his absence. The son of Odysseus was called Telemachus. And here is a mentor friend - Mentor.

The mentor watched Telemachus, taught wisdom and tried to protect the latter from various rash actions and deeds. The image of the mythical Mentor as a teacher-mentor has become a household name and synonymous with such a stern, pedantic and boring teacher.

Mentor tone - instructive, arrogant, mentoring intonation in a conversation.

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In Russian works of psychologists devoted to the science of communication, as a rule, there is always an indication of the inadmissibility of using a mentoring tone that provokes a negative reaction of the interlocutor to it. Let's take a closer look at what a mentoring tone is, and how unambiguous the statement about the inadmissibility of its use is.

The history of the term

The word "mentor" came to us from hoary antiquity, from ancient Greek mythology. This name is mentioned by the poet Homer in his classic poem about the wanderings of Odysseus. When the main character went to fight with Troy, he instructed his friend Mentor to look after his son Telemachus and instruct him. The teacher zealously fulfilled his duties. He taught Telemachus, protected him from stupidity, gave reasonable advice. Until our time, the name Mentor has come down as a common noun, it means a teacher, mentor, someone who is smarter and acts more correctly.

The meaning of the word "mentor" in Russian everyday life

In the Russian understanding, a mentor is a synonym for a stern teacher who demonstrates his superiority over his students, as a result of which he addresses them with some arrogance.

If the interlocutor is unshakably confident in his righteousness and communicates with outsiders in a tone that does not tolerate objections, they say that he has taken a "mentor tone". By communicating in this way, the mentor demonstrates his conviction that his judgments cannot be erroneous, he does not give the right to the existence of a point of view different from his own.

In Russian literature, both artistic and scientific, the term "mentor tone" is used from a negative point of view, this expression always has an ironic connotation. A mentor is characterized as a person who is overly self-confident, does not respect his interlocutors, and allows inappropriate arrogance towards others.

Why it is unacceptable to use a mentor tone in communication

Psychologists advise in every possible way to avoid arrogance towards others. Who can take the mentor tone:

• parents in communication with the child;
• a teacher in communication with a student;
• leader in relation to subordinates;
• a successful person to others;
• leader in his group.

However, everyone wants to feel their importance, everyone is pleased when his opinion is treated with respect and sympathy. Naturally, the speaker's arrogance and megalomania can only alienate his listeners. Mentoring tone can significantly reduce the self-esteem of the person to whom it is applied regularly, negating the results of even the most brilliant speech. He causes hostility, resentment, a desire to take revenge.

In diplomacy, pretentious language and mentoring is a direct route to political crisis. The latter may even become the reason for the outbreak of war.

Mentor mentor

However, only in our country the concept of "mentor" has a negative connotation, although the hero of Homer was a wise and caring teacher. Therefore, in Europe in the Middle Ages, this word was respectfully called mentors, teachers.

Today the word "mentor" is increasingly used to refer to a competent teacher. Mentoring in the scientific literature is defined as a way of communicating with gifted children, as a way of transferring experience and knowledge. In this case, mentoring is associated with mentoring and involves feedback between teacher and student. This way of communication implies not only the transfer of knowledge, but also support, and encouragement, and the disclosure of the student's potential.

A mentor-mentor is an attentive assistant, at the same time he is quite strict and demanding, does not make indulgences, speaks honestly about the results of work, even if they are not the best. This method of communication between the teacher and the gifted student is recognized as highly effective, since it helps the latter to get together and show his full potential.

> "Mentor tone": what is it?

Alexander
Whether this concept is objective or subjective - this question has been very interesting to me lately. And you?

Tatyana

Closer to a subjective assessment. Perhaps the speaker's mentor's mask became his 2nd, me, (without a real reflection of the essence of this person). A frequent illness of teachers :-)

Alexander
I agree, and it also seems to me that there is a phenomenon of "mentor tone phobia", although I have not found direct references to this phenomenon in the scientific psychological literature ...

Tatyana

Maybe this is not really a phobia, but the listener's natural protection from an external stimulus - subconscious negative memory. I personally turn off hearing for the voice of a certain relative. Perception is blocked ... In others, the sound signal can cause other feelings: from aggression to ... what whatever.: - D

Paul

Of course, the mentor tone exists only in the perception of the listener. Those. subjective.

1. When another person says what I need to do, or with my participation. At the same time, this person does not have formal authority in my view (the right of position) and informal (the right of an expert in a specific issue)

2. When another person makes value judgments about my personality or actions, i.e. hangs labels. This is different from "I sayings". Comparison: You say superficial things // I have not heard evidence of your position

3. When another person tries to take a condescending and benevolent position towards me (downward) - implying (by style or intonation) that he knows the subject under discussion better / more / deeper

the Rose

and the mentor tone does not irritate me. I understand that this is often "a habit that
she is also given as a substitute for happiness. "This tone is often detrimental to its owner and I think that this is enough. For me, it is a form that often does not correspond to the content.
Recently, I have been annoyed in real life by the attempts of high bosses to get closer to the people and, in connection with this, their completely unnatural behavior. familiarity, which really does not exist.

Paul

Some habits make communication very difficult. If the "mentor" is interested in constructive communication, it may be worth revisiting your habits.

I agree that it is the "mentor" himself who suffers first (and often the only).

Marina

Personally, I am terribly annoyed by this tone. I immediately want to confront, prove the opposite point of view and even run into trouble.

Tatyana

The mentor tone is well opposed by calm self-confidence and light irony, and the development of the conversation according to the principle of bringing it to a logical absurdity.

Margarita

IMHO. People who tend to have this manner very often feel insecure in a team or in a topic of conversation. Therefore, they spend titanic efforts to maintain authority in such a primitive way that makes them even more vulnerable, and manipulation of them is more successful.

the Rose

Mentor is the name of a friend of the Greek hero Odysseus, to whom, knowing his mind and prudence, Odysseus, leaving for the war with Troy, entrusted the education of his son Telemachus and supervision of him.
In our speech, the word "mentor" is equivalent to the word "mentor", "leader". It is usually used with a somewhat hostile connotation, like "annoying and pedantic advisor". "Mentor tone" - mentoring, arrogant.
Our mentor, remember his cap, robe,
Index finger, all signs of learning
How our timid minds troubled ...-
says Chatsky about his mentor.

Arina

Ne perenoshu sovershenno, navernoe eto i est "fobija mentorskogo tona ... i NASTAVNIK mozet byt" delikatnym, ja dumaju ... :-)

Natasha

in my opinion, this topic would be fine "got on" under the title of the topic of manipulation. as a subtopic.

Pauline

Of course, the "mentor tone" in communication is unacceptable, unconstructive! ... But ... what, sometimes, to do and how to avoid his parents in relation to their child, when everything has already been explained, said, repeated more than once ... When and I don’t want to be boring and cannot be connived. Constantly fighting with myself !!!

Pauline

I must add that we are not talking about beliefs, tastes, views ... here I hope I am democratic. But in purely everyday, behavioral matters ... Apparently it is my fault that I put in, then I reap. Mom! Do not sin with overprotection!

the Rose

about the mentor tone. my son's best math teacher had a mentor tone. In one of the topics I have already given an example about the best teacher. now about his tone. it was a tutor. and after the first lesson, the son said that he would not go to his lesson again. I had to use all the diplomacy I can do to force my
son to go to the 2nd lesson. the result is excellent marks in mathematics, knowledge, and great respect for the teacher.

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