How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations. What negotiation strategy to choose. What is the essence of the tactics of "talking" and "attaching". How not to let yourself be manipulated.

Tough Negotiations: How to Avoid Defeat

Anton Kalabin

Tough negotiations differ from ordinary ones in that they are conducted using forbidden techniques. Such methods are practiced, as a rule, when the transaction is one-time and you need to get the maximum benefit from it. Each step forward in such situations means the loss of one's own benefit.

How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Try to understand how you can influence the interlocutor (for example, the prospects for cooperation with your company) and how he can put pressure on you (for example, more favorable conditions offered by your competitors).

2. Designate the desired result. Set for yourself "pessimistic" and "optimistic" boundaries, beyond which it makes no sense to negotiate. Then you will be able to defend your interests and not go beyond the established limits. It is also important to know what your partner wants from these negotiations, and develop a strategy depending on this.

3. Determine what you are willing to sacrifice. It is better to immediately indicate how much you are ready to “pay” for the result of negotiations to move from the “pessimistic” value of some parameter to the “optimistic” one.

Tough Negotiation Strategies

There are two strategies for conducting tough negotiations - defensive (defensive) and attacking.

Protective strategy. It should be used if you assume that the opponent is stronger than you professionally, emotionally and mentally. In this case, it is necessary to strictly fix those parameters below which it is impossible to fall. Ideally, the person who enters into such negotiations should not have the authority to make the final decision. For example, you are negotiating, and the contract itself is signed and endorsed by people who were not present at the negotiations, for example, members of the board of directors.

Usually, negotiations with the authorities follow this scheme. A businessman who decides mainly commercial rather than political issues is a weaker negotiator compared to a politician. Attack strategy. It is better to use it if you are counting on winning. It is better to send a person to such negotiations who will be able to quickly navigate and make the right decision. For an attacking strategy, conflict is often beneficial: during a conflict, a person loses control over himself and becomes easily controlled. In a state of passion, the negotiator is able to make mistakes, which you can then use to your advantage.

An example of such tough negotiations is public debate, when it is extremely beneficial for the opposing side to lose control of itself. Literally a couple of phrases - and your opponent starts screaming, spitting, slurring his own thoughts, saying too much, and this makes a negative impression on the audience. As a result, you, calm and reasonable, find yourself in a more advantageous position.

Negotiation Tactics

The simplest are “mirroring” and “pushing through”1. However, today they no longer give the desired effect, as they are too well known. I do not recommend using them as the main ones. If you need to convince a person, you can use the standard "attachment" technique. First, you accept the point of view of the interlocutor, and then look at the situation or question from his side. And then those arguments that you will use will be able to make the interlocutor change his mind. Another standard procedure is the “talking” technique, when the words are repeatedly repeated: “I wish you well; we, of course, want your company to be prosperous!”. Thus, you can put pressure on some base human instincts - for example, greed or vanity. If he is greedy, he is promised big profits, and unfounded, since a greedy person cannot critically evaluate such information. A person who is poorly educated, but who respects science, is “loaded” with graphs, diagrams, and the scientific nature of the text. Special terms are also used. A person will most likely be embarrassed to clarify their meaning, therefore, he will not understand everything that is said and will have to rely on the opinion of the interlocutor (see also: Types of psychological traps).

How not to be manipulated

The simplest way to avoid defeat is not to enter into such negotiations. If you feel uncomfortable and feel that you can not cope, it is best to break off the negotiations and leave.

If the situation is heating up, then any abrupt action will help, a blow to the table, loudly said “Enough!”, An unexpected comparison. Incorrect questions should be answered openly and symmetrical questions should be asked as soon as possible. For example, in the framework of cooperation negotiations, you are asked: “Do you want to cash in on us?”. The answer should be: “Yes, we want to make money. You are not?". If you are forced to do something, say loudly: “You are putting pressure on me!”. Once this is said, the possibilities of manipulation by your interlocutor are greatly reduced. Then you can turn the conversation into a peaceful direction (if you are planning a long-term cooperation) or even launch an offensive.

During tough negotiations, it is important to learn how to control your condition. Try to look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. This approach will help to timely determine the line beyond which you can become a puppet in someone's hands. You should be concerned if your gestures have changed, you have begun to perform strange actions: tapping on the table, unreasonably rubbing your hands or feet. So, stroking your thighs with both hands is a subconscious gesture that you want to leave the place of negotiations. If you notice this, it means that the subconscious mind is signaling you about the danger. In this case, it is best to go out for a while, calm down and decide whether you want to continue negotiations or not. It is very useful to wash your face: the impact of water on the forehead triggers reflex mechanisms that calm the heartbeat and regulate metabolism. In three to five minutes, you can regain your balance and decide whether you need to continue the conversation. If not, say that, unfortunately, an urgent call has come in and you are forced to leave the negotiations. If you think that it is necessary to bring the matter to the end, calm down, gather your strength and go for the next "portion".

If you are forced to make a decision based on some facts, you need to write everything down and take a timeout to make a decision. Remember that any facts should be given with reference to the original source. If the opposing party is unable to identify the original sources, as is usually the case, state that a decision will only be made when you receive them. Ideally, all information received should be checked by your security department (see an example from my experience: How it works in practice).

Types of psychological traps

There is a pretty powerful psychological trap associated with the hypnosis technique. For example, you can switch the lighting in the room. In negotiations, of course, this technique is of little use. Although with the help of a sparkling pen with a gold cap, if it is rotated correctly in the hands, it is possible to put a person into a state close to a trance, thereby turning off the logical component of his brain.

You can also change the volume of the voice, play with the timbre and pitch. Professional negotiators are able to easily switch from high to low tone and vice versa. And they do it randomly, thereby driving the interlocutor into a trance, chatting him up. It may seem that the partner is talking about the case, and consciousness is losing the ability to analyze. Then the person himself does not understand how he agreed with all the arguments and signed the agreement.

How to Smooth Out Tough Negotiations

Tough negotiations can and even need to be translated into soft ones, especially in cases where you are aimed at long-term cooperation. Use the following methods:

Be open to the interlocutor. To translate tough negotiations into soft ones, you must first of all be flexible and open yourself. Clearly indicate your position: perhaps this will make your interlocutor go the same way (see Seller and buyer). Talk about neutral topics. At the beginning of tense negotiations, it is sometimes useful to touch on topics that are not relevant to the conversation, but are interesting for the interlocutors, for example, hobbies (see "Become Your Own Tactic"). If you are meeting for the first time, you can tell a little about yourself and your company. Naturally, you will achieve a greater effect if you do not turn the conversation into an official presentation. Ask for help. It is very useful to ask a partner for some kind of service. People appreciate more those they helped. It is quite appropriate to ask for something (for example, a pen and paper) before starting negotiations.

How to say no. If, as a result of negotiations, you still have to say “no”, do not get personal. Having informed the interlocutor: “We do not sign agreements with such slow-witted people,” you will most likely find an enemy for life. You should not call the partner's position the reason for the failed transaction, it is better to state that it is your conditions and opportunities that do not allow an agreement at the moment.

Seller and Buyer

A fairly standard case of hard negotiation is the negotiation between a seller and a buyer. The position of both parties is clear: the buyer wants to buy the goods at a low price and pay for it later, the seller wants to sell at a higher price and receive money in advance. If you prepare in advance for such negotiations and deploy them correctly, you can easily turn them into soft ones, while defending your interests. Two factors must be taken into account: the price of the goods and the deferred payment. You designate in advance the minimum price to which you are ready to drop with a minimum delay, and openly inform your partner about this. Thus, you give the second party the opportunity to choose - to take the goods at the lowest price, but pay immediately, or later, but at a higher price. As a result, the partner finds himself in a situation where tough negotiations are meaningless. There is a minimum price, below which you still will not go down, therefore, only bargaining for a delay remains.

Tactics "become your own"

Show your interlocutor that you are similar in many ways: you have children, a dog, both of you are men (or women). It is quite possible that you will find common acquaintances, it turns out that you graduated from the same educational institution, etc. For example, I use such a technique as talking about children. If you are late even for a minute, you can apologize and say that you were talking on the phone with a child, and at the same time ask if your interlocutor has children.

With some feeling of internal resistance, I proceed to this section of the book. Very often, after such information, people's mood deteriorates, as they begin to understand the real rules of the game, according to which they can play with them as well. And someone will recognize situations from their own lives in the described technologies.

Once again I want to emphasize that the mission of this book is to strengthen your personal security. Understanding the rules of the game makes it easier to work with them. And it doesn't matter what country you live in. Thank God that we have already gone through the stage of illusions, that everything is bad with us, while everything in the West is “in chocolate”.

Study an excerpt from the instruction of an employee of the purchasing department of a store of a fairly well-known global chain (slightly adapted to our mentality):

In the first rounds of negotiations, demand the impossible from partners;

Never agree to an offer made right away, even if it is beneficial to us;

Leave the most important questions for the partner at the end of the negotiations, influence the time limit;

Negotiate correctly, but take the opportunity to accuse the other side of being incorrect;

Negotiate mainly on topics that are beneficial to you;

Make your opponents pay more time for an agreement;

At every stage of your agreement, demand concessions beyond the standard;

Push the other side in negotiations with the positions of their competitors, provoke them to compete for the right to work with us;

Make them prove the attractiveness of their offer to us ...

Life is what it is. Therefore, take the information below, not as instructions for action. It's just another opportunity to "get off the trail."

Method 1. "Psychological breakdown of resistance"

Tough negotiations don't always look like that. On the contrary, they can be tactically implemented according to the principle of "lay softly, but sleep hard." It is this principle that is used as part of the strategy of the so-called demolition of the opponent's psychological position. Let's analyze the algorithm of the influencer's behavior step by step. Perhaps, once in a similar situation, you can find the best way to avoid breaking the psychological position.

The task of such methods is not negotiating, but what? A person is consciously guided through a series of stages, each of which affects his psycho-emotional state.

At the same time, it is not necessary to nod only at the power structures. The same thing happens in commercial negotiations. Therefore, I will outline the actions at each stage for both power and commercial negotiations.

The general goal of the technique is to psychologically break a person, deprive him of rational resistance, pushing him to spontaneous affective decision-making.

Stage 1. "Pseudo-victory"

Actions: a person is involved in a calm dialogue, his sense of comfort and security is enhanced. By describing the situation, there is an increase in the feeling of control of events on his part. “We just invited you, in general, to talk. We will really need your help, of course, as a witness ... ”At the same stage, intensive work is underway on a person’s self-esteem: compliments, encouraging communication, and so on and so forth. But already at this stage, a connection will be established between a person and compromising evidence (if this is an example of the activity of law enforcement agencies). What is compromising? When a person is forced in advance to confess to an event that compromises him, but he does not know this yet.

Purpose of the stage. It is quite transparent: reduce the psychological security of a person, his control over what is happening, but at the same time draw him into the subsequent action.

Stage 2. "Emotional attack"

Actions: what's happening? A sharp change in the style of communication with a person. In commercial negotiations, they just talked to you as a friend (at the previous round of negotiations), a comrade and a brother, and when you come to the next level of negotiations, they tell you: "Yeah, but you set me up!" At the same stage, the management of the intrigue often begins: we are not told the fact, but the feeling of guilt is untwisted. “I come to you as to a friend ... Do you know how I was at a meeting yesterday for you? Literally torn to pieces! I trusted you, and what did you slip me? I thought you had quality conditions".

If it's a force structure: “Well, you got it! Do you want to name the article right away or guess it yourself? Well done for even admitting it." It's the same thing, just different methods. In the mind of a person, anxiety is created through a reference to the presence of information that the other side did not know about. I.e: “Everything would be fine if it weren’t for…” Work with obscure information (a method of managing negative intrigue) continues until a person begins, roughly speaking, to “twitch”, until his anxiety increases. What is required in this step? If a person has already confessed to something - an instant transition to psychological pressure. But not in relation to the fact, which has already been admitted. If attacked here, a person can still remain in a protected situation. The task is to keep a person in this state for a long time (overexposure, like a racehorse at the start).

Purpose of the stage: to involve a person in defense. Why? Remember from the course of physics: the voltage is higher, the greater the potential difference? This effect is used at this stage. The weak will be crushed already here. If a person is involved, while still holding a blow, trying to negotiate, the next stage comes.

Stage 3. "Mechanism"

A kind of soulless, automatically working process immediately appears. What happens in the negotiations at this stage? The representative of the influencing party defiantly withdraws from the negotiations. They say to a person: “Listen, what are you telling me? The decision has already been made at the top. Already “goodbye!”. At the same stage, a detailed story is presented about the consequences of compromising evidence for the object of influence.

There is a very fast logical attack through the threat of the future: new information is given out, a set of facts is presented that justifies the negative scenario of consequences for a person. That is, "everything would be fine, but ... everything will be bad." Note that here the attack is already in a specific direction - on the fact that the opponent confessed. Attack - it is valuable in itself. Here the reaction of the other side is no longer important, what happens to it is not important.

And at the same stage, there may be pressure by objective criteria, in which the other participant in the negotiations understands better. An example of such a move. The beginning of the 90s, when the importance of obtaining contracts and money for many Russian enterprises becomes a matter of survival. A representative of a German company visits a Russian woodworking plant. The topic of the meeting was the participation of the plant in a tender for the production of beer tables for Oktoberfest (a beer festival in Germany). In principle, the goods are situational. These tables are still allowed to be recycled after the event.

By the arrival of the “distinguished guest”, several cabinet makers manually make a sample of such a table. Imagine how much effort was expended! The Germans are greeted, as it should be with us, in the hope that a warm welcome will push him to make the “right” decision. After that, they offer to look at the sample. The representative of the German company walks around the table for a long time without saying anything. Then he takes out three balls, wooden, metal and plastic. Puts them on the table. He measures the distance they have rolled away from each other and marks it in his notebook. Then he puts a glass of water on the table and measures the deviation of its level, also marking it in a notebook. After doing a few more of the same simple measurements. And then comes his verdict: “Gentlemen, your product has not passed five evaluation parameters according to our quality system for this product category. If I measure further, and the results turn out to be just as negative, then you will not only be unable to work with us. In principle, you will have difficulty entering our market. Because we provide information about the quality of the products offered to us for general use. Based on this conclusion, pressure is later made on the terms of delivery. And, of course, the result is a significant drop in price. Of course, not in favor of the plant.

A similar move - a description of the inevitability of consequences - is also used in the communication of representatives of law enforcement agencies: “I think that if you are lucky, then seven years. No luck - tell your grandchildren, let them remember you as a good person. You know, the law is the law. And your term is spelled out exactly in it. ” At the same time, the person who influences psychologically removes himself from the space of negotiations. He seems to rule out the possibility of influencing his position. In this case, for example, he says: “You don’t need to communicate with me, I don’t participate here anymore. What are you trying to convince me? There are objective criteria ... " Even a strong man who was ready to defend himself gives up when he is told : “And you have no one to solve the situation with! There are already coming objective consequences of your mistake. I'm not here!"

Purpose of the third stage- creating an active search behavior in the object of influence, feverish thinking about how to get out of the situation with less losses. It can be seen from the eyes that the person begins to rush about. Very often at this stage they take a break. If we are talking about the power structure, then the phrase sounds: “Sit down and think, we have the right to keep you for two weeks or three days.” If these are business negotiations: “Well, listen, think, call us sometime, better next summer. In fact, I wouldn’t call again!”

Understand that in this way the other side is trying to hold a pause! Through this, a person is pulled into the so-called “orientation behavior”: according to the emotional state of a person, it becomes clear that the “object of pressure” is rushing about and looking for a solution.

Stage 4. "Straw"

The name of the stage speaks for itself. What is offered to the person? Emotionless, without providing guarantees, moreover, a negative offer of help. “Listen, since we have some kind of relationship, I do not advise you to do this. Anyway, the situation is stalemate, you will do this. If you want to. Even so, I think it's…” Notice how it sounds, right? It won't save you anyway, but you never know what happens! It's like they're throwing this offer of help at you. The task is clear again! "Let's just do it! Okay, let's at least talk."

Purpose of the stage: if at the first stage a person is relaxed, at the third stage he is unexpectedly tense and did not have time to calculate his scenario, then here he is depressed and begins to try to look for an ally. The task is to bring the opponent to readiness to look for exit options - to ask: “What to do now?”, “Maybe there are some options?”, “Maybe we’ll try something different with you?”, “Why so much about this right away ?!”

Grabbed a straw - the next stage is coming.

Stage 5. "Cap"

What is at this stage? Direct dictate of actions, but always with the shift of responsibility. "Well done! Once you decide…” So: “Sit down and write!”, “Well, if you think this is right, then call the boss”. First, responsibility will be pushed aside, then the direct dictate of actions!

The situation is classic, in life I meet constantly.

It is clear that this is one of many methods. I do not suggest using it, but forewarned means protected. I'm just asking you to evaluate each situation: what are they doing to you - are they negotiating or are you being dragged into script communication? If we find ourselves in such a situation, then at what point should we start to strain?

You can only interrupt the script at the second stage. On the first one, it can still be prevented; on the second, it can still be interrupted. If you have already begun to tense up, twitch, actively react, the promotion of everything else will go on. Be carefull. And careful.

The problem is not to get out from under the sight of a sniper rifle. The problem is that you can't get under it.

Method 2. "Creating an agent of influence"

Thoughts at the start...

A man walks around the city with a lantern, they ask him:

- "What are you looking for? Success?

- "Wealth?"

- "Why is it ?!"

- "And what about glory?"

- "I do not need her!",

“So what?”

- "Interlocutor!"

I would be sincerely sorry if among your loved ones you find people who use this technique. I want to remind you that the evaluation of actions should be based on an analysis of a person's motive. If the motive of a person's actions is positive, then he is not necessarily a “bear, bourbon, monster ...” After all, a doctor also sometimes hurts.

Now about the technique itself. Its main goal is to create an emotionally close contact with a person for the subsequent use of this contact in scenario communications.

Stage 1. "Mowgli"

A person is involved in a free dialogue, a feeling of trusting communication is created. In the process of dialogue, emotional support is needed for the interlocutor's story, work with his self-esteem. The task already known to us is being implemented - achieving the effect of psychological relaxation, creating a feeling of comfort in communicating with this interlocutor.

All this happens to obtain (read from a person) an indicative need. An indicative need is something that a person really wants (a thing, position, status, sexual partner, recognition of something, some kind of event, etc.), but he cannot afford to have it or even want it. He is not ready to talk about it (he is embarrassed, afraid, does not consider himself entitled), but at the level of subtle, emotionally reinforced signals of behavior, this breaks through (cast an envious glance at someone's car, said with anguish that it is difficult for him to grow quickly in his company). count, spoke irritably to his own leadership, etc.).

Stage 2. "Consent"

As soon as this is fixed by the recruiter, a careful dialogue around this need begins. This does not apply to a specific person, he is not asked direct questions about this problem or need. The conversation is in general on this topic. At the same time, the idea is strengthened in every possible way that it is right to want this, there is nothing shameful in this. Examples are given from the life of people who are authoritative for this person. As soon as it becomes clear that a person has begun an internal dialogue, he begins to think about the event, and there is a transition to the next stage. One important point needs to be emphasized here. A clear desire to convince a person usually only increases his resistance. Resistance and criticality are reduced if you managed to start an internal dialogue in the mind of a person. In a situation of internal dialogue, a person begins, as it were, to consult with himself. It remains only to throw in the dosed information correctly so that he moves towards making the right decision.

Stage 3. "Strengthening" I "

If it is clear that a person himself is moving towards a reassessment of the event, expresses agreement with the opinion of the interlocutor, then his readiness to solve the problem increases (change of job, readiness to commit some act, etc.). On the example of his life actions, the rightness in the possibility of this decision is emphasized. An experienced recruiter will never actively push the "object of development" to take action. This is dangerous because a person can delegate his responsibility for making a decision. And this is fraught with either a loss of autonomy (it will no longer be possible to say: “you yourself decided”), or an increase in his individual criticality in relation to the decision being made: “Yeah, it seems that they are imposing a decision on what needs to be done to me.”

At the same time, a re-arrangement of values ​​is carried out very clearly, a change in emphasis in the assessment of events: “It's not a bad move. You are not setting anyone up. You just honestly achieve what you have long deserved! Why should you work under this person if you already know more professionally than him? After all, he delegates to you all the main issues for key customers! At the same time, it is worth considering how such an overload is taken into account in the salary received..

Stage 4. "Help"

If a person joins the opinion of the recruiter, then and only then should an expression of readiness to help. Moreover, it is emphasized that this help is provided disinterestedly, solely for the sake of relating to this person: "We are friends. If you want, I can introduce you to the right people. And then decide for yourself. Most importantly, try to achieve what you have the right to.

Stage 5. "Dependency"

After the consent of a person to some act, the right of access to his personal space is fixed, the effect of an emotional umbilical cord is created. “You do it tomorrow, and in the evening I will call you and discuss your impression. The main thing - do not go in cycles. If it doesn't work here, let's move on. Just don't stop, keep moving forward. Life is not as long as it seems."

What is done with the recruited agent of influence? A person is emotionally dependent, it seems to him that a number of services have been done for him. And as they say, "over time, the cost of a free service increases dramatically." This created a good personal contact with this person. Usually agents of influence are used "in the dark", more often to receive or leak information. With their help, they also indirectly influence events in a competitive environment to which there is no direct access.

Once again I ask you to pay attention to the fact that it is important to understand the motives. There are people who are actually willing to help us disinterestedly. Therefore, it is extremely important to understand whether a person does this for the sake of friendship or pursues his own selfish goals. All the same rule from the series "Brigade": "Understand in this life: either you play, or they play you." The main thing is not to be on an emotional or value “hook”.

Why are we talking about the hook? Because the recruiter will definitely check whether you followed his advice. He was kind to you, so you will not upset him and say that the advice was good. For the recruiter, this is an opportunity to emphasize their importance to you in the future. You are emotionally grateful and willing to continue to share your difficulties with the person in the hope of getting advice. Giving you advice, a person influences you. At a certain point, you do not notice how you become a conductor of his ideas. If, for example, your colleague-competitor becomes the same conductor of his other ideas, then ... You, together with this colleague, are not immune from the fact that the ideas inspired by you will not contradict each other. The recruiter gets the opportunity to manipulate you, influencing you and your environment.

Understanding what you can expect from another person, let's look at how to get out of the scenario.

Diagnostics of the "recruiter"

While specific tactics vary, certain commonalities are highlighted below. The American Family Foundation brochure lists four signs of a recruiter.

1. This is the friendliest person you will ever meet.

2. This person is TOO interested in what you, as he found out, like to do.

3. Someone who showers you with compliments and praises and coolly assesses what can be taken from you: enthusiasm, energy, physical or intellectual strength, money, an apartment, etc.

4. The one who has all the answers to all questions.

When the prospect appears to be receptive, the recruiter makes a deliberate, calculated attempt to engage him in conversation, pique his interest, and captivate him in the following ways:

Showing concern for the intended client's well-being by expressing unusually high awareness of their feelings and emotional state, which leads the intended client to believe they are truly understood. For example, after learning about the travels of the recruit, the recruiter might say: “So you've been on the road for two months. You must be tired, feeling lonely, without any real roots?”;

Demonstrating a keen, unifying interest in the recruit's ideas, interests, hopes, goals, saying, for example: “Oh, you are a musician. Well, I just happened to be living with a group of musicians…”;

By maintaining eye contact, maintaining close physical intimacy, "attacking" sexually (in a psychological sense);

Retrieving personal information about the current position of the recruit, about his worries, problems, stresses. For example, a recruiter might ask: "What do your parents think about your travels across the country?", or "Do you have an intimate relationship with anyone?", or "Do you know what you want to do with your life?"

If the recruiter is successful, the recruit will feel an emotional connection to the recruiter and a willingness or desire to keep in touch. When recruited clients are considered ready, which may be after fifteen minutes of conversation or after a few random meetings, they may be invited to join or attend an event. Recruiters often tailor their descriptions of the proposed events (meeting the right people, getting the right information, overall usefulness, etc.) to suit the interests of the recruit. As always - already, perhaps, a boring parting word: be careful ...

Technique 3. "Counter attack"

This technique is a more detailed and technologically described “hit towards” strategy. It is used at the moment when the partner is clearly destructive and there is no reason to continue the dialogue yet. Such methods work especially well if it is necessary to make a positive impression on a third party watching the fight, as a person who knows how to take a punch and defend his position.

Like the previous ones, this technique consists of a number of steps.

Stage 1. Holding the punch

In response to an obvious provocation of the interlocutor, a demonstration of the degree of personal security is made. It can manifest itself in defiantly ignoring an attack or in an aggressive comment on a meeting: “Of course, I was counting on a smart question, but oh well, I’ll answer yours too ...”

- Do you want, like many others before you, to collect money from people and disappear?

- I will probably upset you very much with my answer, but I will have to do it: no, we don’t want to!

If it is important for you to demonstrate your constructiveness, you need to indicate the positive topic of your counterargument. In this case, it is better to reformulate the opponent's thought by joining it.

You are offering a poor quality product!

– You know, many doctors also say that eating meat is harmful, and sugar is just “white death”. However, you and I eat it and live quite well. Moreover, if we ate it less, we would live much worse.

Stage 2. Attack of a weak position

Never need to counter-argument all the statements of the opponent. Find the part of him that is rationally or emotionally weaker and attack it. There is a fragmentation of the enemy's resource: his position of the enemy becomes weaker, yours is strengthened, since he is forced to go on the defensive. And when a person prepared to attack, his ability to defend decreased.

Stage 3. Point strike

A counter attack of the opponent's position minimizes his claims, the meanings of his statement may change. You can use the classic “interpretation” pressure technique. It is also possible to collide the opinion of the opponent with the opinion of a significant group of people. In this case, the opponent's position is opposed to the common interest.

Step 4. Closing reaction

Reinforces the opponent's desire to defend and justify in response to your attack. It is important to prevent communication with your opponent from going into conversational mode. Close the possibility of further communication on your own, put an emotional point, after which a return to this topic will seem like a weak emotional reaction.

"Hard" options for a "counter attack" are given in A. Kochergin's book "Fireproof Tips".

Below are examples of the author's discussions and counterattacks on attempts at emotional provocations of the type of training he proposes in martial arts.

- Dear Andrey Nikolaevich, I do not agree! You might think that training can and should be done only by limited people. But none of those with whom I managed to talk a little makes an impression ... Hm ... How should I put it? .. Say, intellectually limited people.

Counter attack:

- We are all sick with something - some with obesity, some with a violent love for our people, some with gonorrhea, and some with a passion for koi (combat school of karate). I am sure that the prerequisites for each diagnosis were in our hands, so "limitation" should be read as "violent determination." I don’t believe otherwise, because since childhood I have been untalented, but hardworking.

“I am not a koi representative. They are not allowed to lose.

Counter attack:

We are not allowed to surrender. Agree, it's not the same thing.

A more correct version of the "counter attack", a version of the reformulation of questions at a press conference:

How do you want to surprise people? Just high prices in a poor area?

Counter attack:

– You know, we don't want to surprise people at all. I'll answer your question about how low-income people, according to your information, living in this area experience when looking at expensive products. It seems to us that it is very important that such stores appear in such areas, because it shows people the modern level to which they can aspire. Indeed, some people experience negative feelings, but this is on the surface. For the majority, this gives additional motivation for work, in order to earn money.

Lord Ramsay returns home from his club in the evening. Suddenly, a man in a mask stepped out of the darkness of the street, pointed a revolver at the lord and shouted:

"If you move, you're dead!"

“I don’t understand,” the lord replied. “If I move, it will be proof that I am alive.”

And a bit more…

The merchant came to the shepherd and said:

“Can you choose the sheep I want?”

“There is no such sheep in the world that is not in my flock,” the shepherd answered.

- Then find me one that is not white and not black, not red and not motley, not big and not small.

“Please, just come for her not on Monday, not on Tuesday, not on Wednesday, not on Thursday, not on Friday, not on Saturday, and certainly not on Sunday,” the shepherd replied.

So let's drink to the fact that we always know what we want!

In a counter attack, the following must be considered and used:

Focus on your opponent's belief system;

In response to incorrectness, you have the right to be incorrect as well, since it was not you who "unleashed the war";

Speak in the language of the opponent: "The thought expressed should be only a couple of degrees above the level of the crowd, otherwise her brains will boil";

If a more correct version of the reaction is important for you, then join the positive side of the interlocutor's statement as much as possible and evoke positive feelings; reduce the negative image and increase the positive;

It is important for people that we agree with them;

People painfully experience the loss of face in the eyes of other people, this can also be influenced;

Don't start a response without understanding its content, rather take a controlled pause;

Influence values ​​that are difficult to attack back.

Technique 4. "Intimidation"

A very unpleasant topic, but how often such a situation occurs in real life in an explicit and veiled form. The given definition of this type of impact is taken from one handbook for special services.

Intimidation is a dramatized threat of physical or psychological violence against a person and his loved ones with the aim of subordinating the object to someone else's will. Unlike refined blackmail, compromising information is not involved. Intimidation is most often used for:

Receiving information;

recruitment;

Violent coercion to any action;

Correction of the behavior of the "object".

A few points that we are forced to note in this (how I don’t want to use the word!) Technique. Intimidation is expressed in an explicit, covert or indirect form. What I suggest you remember if, by the nature of negotiations, you either have to deal with this phenomenon, or resort to this technique.

The professional never threatens directly. Serious people regard this as an inability to take a hit and as what is called “rotten show-off” in the criminal world (sorry for the slang). The task of an effective threat is to demonstrate your intention to go all the way. The main effect is to make a person spend more energy on defense than the attacker does. The real threat should not be demonstrated, but implied (the partner himself guesses about some resources that will be introduced into the game, if not ...).

When trying to exploit someone else's sense of fear, it's helpful to know that:

Each subject has a limit of mental endurance, beyond which he is not capable of further resistance to the emotion of fear; in this case, there are two types of reaction: a) chaotic behavior or some kind of numbness; b) an uncontrollable, often irrational threat attack: "A cat cornered can become a tiger";

Tactical shock resulting from intense fear typically lasts 15 to 30 minutes; this time is used to enhance the effectiveness of the impact;

The most effective force effect is when it does not follow the principle of flickering "stronger - weaker", but when its effect increases with each new stage;

Influencing the psyche, fear causes disturbances in perception, upsets memory and thinking, and makes it impossible to focus on the professional task being solved, in our case, negotiating; that is why its use in negotiations sometimes becomes effective - it can well break the prepared scenario of the opponent;

When the subject believes that there is some way out of the created situation, but he cannot use it, then panic arises; the fear of the unknown is always more painful than the fear of a visible and understandable danger;

When people don't know what to expect, they usually expect the worst;

The incitement of fear is facilitated both by forced inaction, and by the loss of hope and uncertainty;

People who are physically or mentally tired are much more submissive and pliable than those who are rested and self-confident. That is why the effective use of threats at the beginning of negotiations is rare: first, psychological exhaustion (physiological, intellectual, energetic) or removal of a person’s psychological protection (through emotional relaxation) is carried out;

A sudden shift in established relationships in people with a weak type of nervous system usually causes mental trauma, or, more simply, confusion, fear and despair, which is why negotiation games begin with emotionally weak people, which consist in transferring responsibility for the breakdown of relationships;

In people with a strong type of nervous system and adrenaline addiction, the threat can provoke not fear, but, on the contrary, increased energy of resistance, excitement, increased vitality (the Sherlock Holmes effect). This is especially true of intimidation when there is a specific object that can be resisted.

Technique 5. "Chattering"

It is used in a situation where the partner is more in control of the situation and can go to extreme measures. It is used not only when taking hostages, working with demonstrative blackmailers and suicides. It can also work if your partner is ready to start an irrational fight against you both in negotiations and in business interaction.

There are several rules that are implemented in this technique:

The technique is used in situations where the partner is emotionally excited and may not be aware of the rationality of actions;

It is necessary to determine the events with which the object is associated with positive emotions (life experience, family, significant relationships);

In a situation of communication, joining goes precisely to these events, the goal is to shake the interlocutor at least for a small dialogue;

The most effective move is a conversation for two, discussing the situation as if on behalf of the interlocutor;

It is necessary to create an identification with the object, a person must feel that they understand him and are ready to talk with him, that his interlocutor is also looking for options to solve the situation together with him;

It is impossible to destroy a person's feeling that the situation is under his control;

Defiantly make concessions on insignificant things, comply with minor requirements;

At the same time, as a gesture of goodwill, insist on reciprocal concessions, which should demonstrate the seriousness of the intention to agree; this is necessary in order for the negotiator to act as a guarantor of this person before some third party;

Tighten the time for making decisions and actions, try to psychologically exhaust a person with uncertainty;

Change the psychological time of the situation, put the interlocutor into the mode of thinking about the past and the future; try to make a person realize the responsibility for his act;

At the same time, it is important to psychologically justify him through understanding the motives of his behavior;

The tone of communication is by no means commanding or asking;

Negotiations should be carried out by a person who has the authority, but does not have the right to make a decision; while constantly emphasizing that everything possible is being done to resolve the situation;

It is necessary to bring a person to a conversation about the motives of his act;

The ideal is to get the person to act in a positive way;

In the worst situation, try to push him to take action to eliminate him as a threat.

Method 6. "Definition of false information"

This technique is based on several sad conclusions from the experience of each of us in conducting or analyzing situations of negotiations.

Point the first and the most banal. The point is that people don't always tell the truth. This also applies to negotiations.

We do not always have the opportunity to double-check the veracity of the interlocutor through additional clarification of the facts.

Often, even when telling the truth, people try to embellish it in order to make a better impression.

Catching your partner misrepresenting the facts is a good way to counterattack in negotiations, as he now needs to restore trust in your tactical interaction with him.

Therefore, this technique assumes several stages of organizing a conversation with a partner, which allow you to tactically, “by eye”, double-check the truth of the events described if you did not participate in them and cannot clarify through other channels.

Stage 1. Finding out

Ask your negotiating partner about the events in question. Show genuine interest, pretend that something “hooked” you in the interlocutor’s story. It is important not to show that your attention is due to distrust of the partner's information. In the process of questioning, strive to create a comfortable space for communication. Force you to turn in information and focus your attention on capturing the details of the story.

At this stage, it is important to cluster the interlocutor's story: decompose it into a logical sequence of events: “Yeah, so you spent half an hour negotiating, and then went to their representative’s office.” At the same time, in the mode of clarifying the story, you can ask a leading question. The question can be related to a detail of the story of the event, or even better, to the emotion experienced: “... Was it not disgusting to drink in such a company? Can't you relax with them? At the same time, be sure to take into account the situations in which the interlocutor, as you think, swam. But as long as you do not express active doubt about their truth.

Often the interlocutor can be caught already at this stage: since many people can immediately see (without any eye access signals, forgive me NLP apologists), a person begins to remember or quickly invent.

Stage 2. Change the background

Act as the initiator of the transition to a new topic within the general outline of the conversation. It is important to continue communication until the interlocutor is distracted from the main topic of the conversation, has removed rational control over it. Best of all, if at the same time he is sure that you "swallowed" the information. Therefore, consolidate his success with a compliment: “Yes, it looks like you had to endure a difficult situation. Not everyone could." Sometimes you can see after such a "move" a sharp increase in the psychological relaxation of a person. This may also indicate a distortion of information: he was glad that the “disinformation” had passed.

Stage 3. Attack

In the process of a relaxed conversation with the interlocutor, in the mode “by the way, I remembered that I wanted to ask a question ...”, an additional question is asked - detailing according to the information of the previous stage of the conversation. The question should be tied to the most specific detail that the interlocutor could not miss. It can also be associated with direct provocation, catching a person on contradictions in his story. If it is clearly visible that a person internally “rushes about”, begins to make excuses, counter-aggresses, then it is possible to use psychological pressure to obtain tactical advantages in this round of negotiations.

Stage 4. Evaluation and decision making

If the distortion of information becomes obvious, increase the pressure. Otherwise, return to step 3. Even if you failed to catch a person in contradictions, then you demonstrate to him your tight control over the information provided. In most cases, this does not harm the negotiations.

The methodology seems to be complicated. But in the situation of studying it at trainings, the vast majority of participants easily manage to reveal the moments of the conversation in which a person is trying to provide distorted information. There are not so many people in their lives who are really "trained" in the process of managed communications.

Method 7. "Psychic exhaustion"

A non-standard method, often used as a psychological move, will be described here. It is proposed its variety associated with the method of psychological pressure. You may be familiar with the broken record technique. Its main rule is: you do not get involved in an argument with your opponent, you just insist on your own. In a more rigid version of the use of this technique, it is constructed as follows. For example, a person does not want to fulfill his obligations, which you agreed on earlier. At the same time, he must be ready to argue them with a mass of his own objective reasons. This technique does not work if the partner just rested. It is effective only if the interlocutor wants to "save face" in contact with you. So you answer his reasoning for why he can't do what he promised using the following steps.

1. Repeat the interlocutor's argument, but at the same time reformulate it in a way that is unfavorable for the interlocutor: "I understand that you want to refuse your promise, but ..." Ideally, it is better to choose a reformulation that makes the interlocutor feel uncomfortable.

2. In the second part, you continue to insist on your options for action.

3. With the resistance of the interlocutor, you gradually build up psychological pressure. This can be achieved through a pause, an increase in the negative emotional background of communication, a demonstrative indifference to the opponent’s statements, an emphasized lack of emotion in communication, the use of “hidden quotes”: “... I wouldn’t even talk to another, because I would perceive such an act as meanness and therefore immediately ... I understand that you have problems with ... but we have a normal relationship with you ... and therefore I hope that you will do what you promised.

4. The blame for the negative development of the situation must be shifted to your opponent: “Our relationship was built normally, but if you see the need to develop it in this direction, then this is your choice, and I will have to take it into account in our future relations.”

Method 8. "Hidden provocation"

Since the previous method indicated the option of using the “quote mark” technique in communication, we will dwell on it in a little more detail. This technique is used as a method of hidden aggression and hidden threat. At the same time, the attacker cannot be blamed for this, since the effect of contradictory denial is at work. Moreover, the person being attacked seems to be assured of their positive attitude. As a small example from life - the phrase of a person to whom you came on a business or personal matter, and he knows this: “It's great that you came! And then in the morning there are only idiots with bad requests. What are you complaining about?" Note that the person is kind of glad, but just “as if”. The phrase of the owner of the office already contains a hidden assessment and the ability to inflate the conflict of expectations: “Well, I thought, at least you will come with a normal topic.”

Having agreed to sell their house, having received an advance for the transaction, the owners packed their things and were ready to move. At this point, the buyer asked for a delay of a couple of months, as he could not sell his own apartment. At the same time, he refused to increase the amount of the advance or, moreover, to pay compensation for the forced delay. The owners reasonably noted that they could not promise anything, since they were forced to look for another buyer and therefore were ready to consider the issue of returning the advance. The buyer's response was as follows:“I always try to be correct and try to negotiate. A friend of mine in such a case would involve various organizations, including the judiciary. The situation, you see, is controversial. Until the court has made a decision, there is no possibility to sell the property. But we are reasonable people, I am sure that we will avoid all this. .

Often in a situation of using the “quote mark” technique, people retreat because there is no possibility of a direct counterattack. And there is a feeling that the person seems to have remained correct in relation to the current situation.

Method 9. "False freedom"

A person is able to resist more actively when there is someone to do it against. This technique is based on the principle of providing choice without choice. Remember the proverb: "Wherever you throw it, everywhere is a wedge." This is the principle that people who use this technique operate on. Here, too, there are a few rules.

1. The situation is prepared in advance to the extent that to launch a negative scenario, it remains to do minimal actions.

2. You must be ready to demonstrate this convincingly for the target.

3. You really need to be ready to do what you say.

4. In this case, demonstrative indifference works as a communication style.

Moscow office of one of the regional factories. The owner of the plant received information that the director of the representative office "stole a lot of money to the side." For your personal needs, of course. Without any conflict, the task is given to collect all the necessary evidence base and initiate a criminal case. At the same time, communication with a person is superficial and remains normally partner-like. When everything was ready, a conversation took place:“So it is, dear. Here is the data on how much money you spent on your interests. Here are the materials for the establishment of a criminal case. Over there in the reception area are representatives of the relevant organizations that will continue to deal with you. It's not a threat. For me, as the owner, two options are possible. Option one, using your example, I show everyone how not to act in a relationship with me. And I don't care how much money I lose. Life doesn't end. Option two, we will now agree on the amount that you must return. Naturally, it will be somewhat larger than the one you stole. At the same time, we will designate the terms and guarantees that you will do it. Which option do you choose?"

Already according to the logic of the organization of the situation, it is clear which option was chosen.

Method 10. "Value conflict"

The deepest misconception is that people are most often recruited through pressure to make a decision. The most effective recruitment occurs through changing the weight of values ​​in a person's decision-making structure. Every person has values, and there are many of them. Values ​​constitute the structure of personality, and their destruction leads to the disintegration or change of a person's personality. A person is the least protected in a situation of internal value conflict, when significant values ​​clash in the mind of a person, and he cannot determine which of them is more significant. Remember in childhood the most sadistic question to a child from not very smart parents: “Who do you love more: mom or dad?”

Even an adult in a situation of serious value intrapersonal conflict begins to change the external conditions of his life.

All the same negotiation techniques that we outlined in the third section work. But the main task of the negotiation script is to provoke a person into an internal conflict and offer his algorithm of actions as a solution. There are very good examples from films. Let me remind you of one of them.

As an example, the film "State Counselor"

The situation of recruiting one of the representatives of the militant group, Akhmet (Seleznev), who fell into the hands of the police.

SELEZNEV: "If you please, frighten me, but I am not one of the shy ... Comrades know me well, they will believe me."

INVESTIGATOR: “Yes, how not to believe the hero of the revolution? Only a hero is a knight, without fear and reproach, and you are a mischievous one with us!

(The investigator turns to the guards.)

INVESTIGATOR: “I took some little things with me ... Admire, gentlemen! This is Mr. Seleznev in the most vile institution on Ligovka. Here it is, I wanted thrills ... And this is him with a ten-year-old girl ... "

SELEZNEV (in a preface): “What ten year old? She is fourteen years old, the whole Ligovka has been going to her for 3 years!”

INVESTIGATOR: “Ah, well, that changes things, mister revolutionary! This radically changes things, fourteen years is the time for a revolutionary! Here, gentlemen, look again, because this is a secret filming, a new technique, admire!

SECURITY: "What a disgusting thing! .."

INVESTIGATOR: “Yes, you, my soul, Seleznev, should go to the anarchists, you would be more comfortable there, with simpler morals ... And yours will not forgive you for this ... Such, my friend, feasts for the bright cause of the revolution ... After that, any dirty tricks will be believed about you , I know that!”

SELEZNEV: "How do you know?"

INVESTIGATOR: “Listen, honestly speaking, I just feel sorry for you. It's sad to see a talented person die. Well, why do you need these flour worms, these dreary worms? You are a person, in fact, cheerful, reckless, unrestrained, in this we are similar, I am also a gambler, also a gambler. Therefore, I propose to you, think, Seleznev! You and I can play such a game, as in British football, with one touch. Spit on all your bombs and daggers ... everything will be, and risk, and excitement!

SELEZNEV: "Give me a drink."

INVESTIGATOR: "Would you like some tea?"

INVESTIGATOR: “Agree, today you are a puppet in the hands of your party leaders, and I suggest that you become a puppeteer yourself. Well, isn't it tempting?"

SELEZNEV: “I will pull their strings, and you me?”

INVESTIGATOR: “Listen, I trust you with my life, I will pray for you. You break, I'm finished. What is your nickname among the revolutionaries?

SELEZNEV: "Akhmet."

INVESTIGATOR: “Akhmet, it's funny. And I suggest you ... And let's you be Guidon?

SELEZNEV: "Why Guidon?"

INVESTIGATOR: "Well, why not... You will fly from this island of Buyan to the kingdom of the glorious Saltan either as a mosquito, or as a fly, or as a bumblebee, how many people are there in BG?"

SELEZNEV: “Not counting me, three. The eldest is Green, Grinulya, no one knows his real name. Also Emelya, such a smart man, he loves risk and the kid is still quite. Bullfinch, Green is training him.

INVESTIGATOR: “Do you have an emergency connection with them?”

SELEZNEV: "That's all!"

INVESTIGATOR: “Calm down, calm down, Gvidon. I'm not going to keep you on a short leash. I'm not going to, and there will be no surveillance of you. You are alone, you choose, all decisions are yours alone. You are the player, the fisherman and the hunter."

There will be an opportunity, reconsider this scene from the film precisely as a technology of value conflict. Values ​​form the structure of a person's personality. Their collision sharply reduces the resistance to external influences. In this method, they receive information about the basic values ​​that are important for a person, establish control over them, and then begin to control the choice of a person. The conflict of values ​​always causes internal tension. Looking for a way out, a person often acts in accordance with a scenario defined by someone.

Let me remind you once again of the basic rule: "Forewarned is forearmed." When we encounter any kind of influence on our own consciousness, we first turn on mental protection. Understand where is the “path” that they are trying to push you onto. And then who will beat whom. Let's summarize this section.

We have considered only some of the techniques used in tough negotiations. Like any tools, they are out of value. I do not recommend them and do not ask you to use them. These are regular pictures from life, showing how it sometimes happens (when fortune shows us different parts of its body). Once again I want to remind the motto of the survival school: “To anticipate, if possible, to warn, if necessary, to act”, because “Nothing prevents you from enjoying life as much as life itself.”

Try to remember simple rules that can help you avoid more hits in situations where harsh communication technologies are used:

In each situation, determine the degree of your guilt and have the courage to admit it;

Do not stoop to revenge and slander, it is better to learn how to control the dosage of the truth;

Have the patience to improve yourself;

Don't become dependent on other people's opinions, just consider them;

Avoid value conflicts and be able to negotiate with yourself;

Enjoy the quality, not just the standard of living.

“Joy begets a smile. Smiling brings pleasure. Pleasure is the source of satisfaction. Satisfaction is the mother of victory."

Confucius

Perhaps these words of Confucius will prompt you to think about your own path to happiness.

In modern conditions, the nature of negotiations between business partners has become much tougher. Going to negotiate with a network buyer, a representative of one or another manufacturer or supplier develops such defensive-offensive tactics that great military commanders would envy.

Hard Negotiation Technique

Practice shows that in order to achieve the desired result, it is necessary, firstly, to distinguish tough negotiations (positional bargaining) from constructive negotiations, and secondly, to master the technique of conducting tough negotiations.

Many trainings state that “it is necessary to conduct constructive partnership negotiations with networks, as we are interested in long-term cooperation,” but this is not always true, notes a business coach, head of one of the schools of negotiators Dmitry Kotkin. - From the point of view of negotiating tactics, there is an ironclad rule: if your opponent chose the tactics of tough negotiations, and you try to work constructively, then you will actually lose. At the same time, practice shows that in most cases it is impossible to conduct constructive negotiations with networks, because they initially act from a position of strength and choose the tactics of tough negotiations, exerting powerful psychological pressure on the supplier. You need to know that tough negotiations differ from constructive negotiations in time frames, the attitude of opponents towards each other and the tactics of conducting. Namely, tough negotiations are aimed at resolving the issue "here and now", in constructive negotiations the future is discussed; from the point of view of tough negotiations, the opponent is an adversary, an enemy that must be defeated at any cost, and in constructive negotiations, the opponent is a partner.

In addition, it is important to understand that the person who is able to calculate the actions of his opponent several steps ahead wins in negotiations - these are the so-called people of linear time. And there are very few people who have such a gift (there are only 20% of them). The remaining 80% are people of instantaneous time. Accordingly, it is better to send people of linear time to negotiate with networks (this is ideally) or very well-trained specialists who are fluent in certain methods of conducting negotiation processes with buyers.

Cheat sheet for the buyer

Dmitry Kotkin provided the following examples as useful practices that can be used during tough negotiations with network managers.

So, a supplier, going to negotiate in a particular network, must be prepared for the fact that he will hear a lot of negative information about himself and his product in a rather emotional form. In this case, it is enough to know that this is a popular technique of the so-called managed conflict, which is often used by buyers. The purpose of this technique is to obtain a psychological advantage over the interlocutor. To a greater or lesser extent, but still, a buyer interested in a supplier can unreasonably state: “You are poorly prepared, so we are forced to stop these negotiations because of you. Goodbye, come back next time." Bayer uses this technique to start the next stage of the negotiation from the top down, because a person who finds himself in a similar situation feels guilty and insecure. As a result, the next negotiations begin with a discussion of even tougher terms of cooperation.

Another popular negotiation technique used by buyers is illogical argumentation, when, during negotiations, a buyer, for no apparent reason, suddenly announces a delay in signing an agreement, for example, for three months, arguing this with an illogical statement like “because the walls are in our office is green." After such a statement, there is a natural pause, the opponent does not know how to react to the insane message. And the buyer uses this moment to seize the initiative and tighten the terms of cooperation.

But now, it seems, everything is over, an agreement has been reached, the buyer has already taken a pen to sign the contract, and suddenly he voices an additional requirement in favor of the network: “And also, please provide us with a batch of free goods in such and such a volume.” And here a dilemma arises. Either start the whole negotiation process anew, or agree. Since most often this is not a key issue - it is small and insignificant, the suppliers reluctantly agree, and an item appears in the documents that was not at the start. Accordingly, given this possible nuance, and knowing that 80% of agreements are always made at the last stage, it is always necessary to have an additional argument in reserve that can be used at the final moment of negotiations.

And of course, when preparing for negotiations with networks, the supplier must keep in mind that he has no more than 15 minutes at his disposal, and if the network manager does not hear real, really interesting proposals and adequate answers to the questions posed in the first minutes of the conversation, the second meeting may not to be.

In conclusion, we note that, perhaps, in 2010, with the light hand of the state, everything will change and relations between suppliers and networks will become more peaceful, but so far we can only hope for this and ... prepare for tough negotiations.

The main topics of discussion at the negotiations

Introduced assortment

Money bag:

* compensation (tickets)

* volume growth (retro bonuses)

* opening of new stores

* logistics and centralization

* write-off / return of marriage

* deferment of payment

* annual promotional activity

* merchandising

* introduction/rotation of new products

Planogram (layout)

Alla Cherednichenko

Based on the materials of the conference "Food industry - a priority sector of the Russian economy", held as part of the XII International North-West Food Forum in St. Petersburg

Techniques that network buyers use when meeting with suppliers

1. Never get enthusiastic about a negotiating partner at the start. Be a “void”, let him fill it with information about himself. (Bayer defiantly pauses, and the opponent is forced to fill in the “emptiness” by laying out all the prepared arguments at once.)

2. React negatively to the first sentence. Immediately put psychological pressure on the opponent (“How could you come here with such an offer?”).

3. Ask for the impossible at once.

4. Do not make concessions without a counter-demand (the "concession for concession" technique).

5. Don't make decisions right away. Buy time, referring to the fact that the decision needs to be agreed with the authorities.

6. Always be ready to break off negotiations. Feel free to go into conflict, and “hang” the responsibility for what happened on your opponent. Start your next negotiation with higher requirements.

7. In pairs, divide into "good" and "bad." Pull your opponent's attention away without forcing him to focus.

8. Feel free to use counterintuitive arguments to throw your opponent off his negotiating script.

9. Repeat the same thing over and over again (the broken record technique).

10. Remember that 80% of the agreements are made at the last stage. Accordingly, keep an additional demand in reserve, present it when the main agreements have already taken place.

11. No personal relationships. Any system forbids discussing abstract topics in negotiations. (This point is quite controversial from the point of view of its implementation by network managers, since at this stage of the negotiations there is a rather popular and omnipotent topic of “kickbacks”, which, according to rumors, softens even the toughest negotiations ... But that's another story).

/ Training "Conducting tough negotiations"

Business training "HARD NEGOTIATIONS"
intellectual, verbal and psychological methods to achieve objective results

The target audience:

• owners involved in operational management,
• heads of commercial, marketing, purchasing, financial, logistics and other divisions of the company.
• Experienced Account Managers.

Training Benefit:
Work at the training is carried out with cases and situations of participants, which allows you to prepare for "important" negotiations for the company in ensuring the necessary commercial, managerial and organizational results.

Results:

1. Mastering the skills of setting clear goals in negotiations.
2. Development of the practice of developing a strategy and tactics of negotiations.
3. Acquaintance with the methods of influence and counteracting manipulations in negotiations in achieving the set goals for negotiations.
4. Practicing the skill of "squeezing" agreements to the desired result.
5. Gaining the ability to create the optimal position of the manager during negotiations.
6. The ability to translate passive negotiations into active ones (create agreements on the most favorable terms of cooperation for the company).
7. Formation of the skill of confident behavior in negotiations.
8. Development of negotiation standards to create and overcome tough situations and achieve substantive results.

The main questions of the training:

1. How to prepare for negotiations so that you achieve your goals?
2. How to build a negotiation strategy so that both parties are satisfied?
3. What tactics are most effective for keeping the initiative in negotiations?

Conduct form: 30% theory / 70% practice.

• exercises, games, role-playing situations,
• creative tasks, discussions.

1. When tough negotiations are needed. Classification of situations.

• Conflict of interest in negotiating prices and conditions;
• Interest pressure;
• Debt settlement;
• Relations "on the verge of a foul";
• Restoring respect and partnership when attempting unscrupulous interaction.

2. Strategic and tactical goals of the negotiations:

• Positions in negotiations: "Soft approach", "Positional bargaining" and "Principled" approach. Use of positions in various situations;
• "Principled Negotiations". Basic methods and rules. "Win-Win" is achievable;
• "Tough negotiations" ("Positional bargaining"). Techniques of pressure and manipulation of a partner, when necessary;
• Initiation of negotiations. Choosing the optimal context for negotiations;
• The method of "red elephants" in the implementation of the strategy and tactics of tough negotiations;
• The ability to say “no” without losing the initiative. The method of "postponing decisions" and preventing postponing decisions in order to boost the result.

3. Methods of "stimulating decision making" in negotiations.

• Making decisions; Competent argumentation (argumentation logic);
• Principles of struggle and confrontation in negotiations. Accumulation of advantages and building initiative;
• Methods of intercepting and retaining the initiative at each stage of the negotiations. "Attack" and "maneuvers" in negotiations;
• Power field of negotiations. Opposing and driving forces. Uniting against inhibitory forces. Methods and techniques.

4. 10 ways to influence the "seller" and "purchaser", the practice of their application.

5. Recording of negotiations as a method of preventing pressure and exerting influence.

6. The use of "hard negotiation methods" in working with 4 psychological types of partners. The choice of strategy and tactics for defending interests. Opportunities and limitations of a tough negotiation style in working with each of the pure and mixed psychotypes of partners:

• Purposeful (dominant);
• Analytical (designing);
• Harmonic (contributory);
• Emotional (initiating) psychological types of partners.

• What are the tough negotiation strategies
• Examples of tough negotiations

Tough negotiations differ from the usual ones in that they are carried out using prohibited techniques. Such methods are practiced, as a rule, when the transaction is one-time and you need to get the maximum benefit from it. Each step forward in such situations means the loss of one's own benefit.

How to Prepare for Tough Negotiations

1. Determine your strengths and weaknesses. Try to understand how you can influence the interlocutor (for example, the prospects for cooperation with your company) and how he can put pressure on you (for example, more favorable conditions offered by your competitors).
2. Designate the desired result. Set for yourself "pessimistic" and "optimistic" boundaries, beyond which it makes no sense to negotiate. Then you will be able to defend your interests and not go beyond the established limits. It is also important to know what your partner wants from these negotiations, and develop a strategy depending on this.
3. Determine what you are willing to sacrifice. It is better to immediately indicate how much you are ready to “pay” for the result of negotiations to move from the “pessimistic” value of some parameter to the “optimistic” one.

CEO speaking

Mikhail Urzhumtsev, General Director of OAO Melon Fashion Group, St. Petersburg

I am not a supporter of hard methods and try to avoid conflicting partners. In no case should you leave your partner with the impression that he was “squeezed out” as much as possible. Further cooperation in such a situation is quite problematic. Negotiations should take place in a comfortable environment, and even business communication should not be devoid of a touch of humor.

Of course, there were situations when we firmly defended our positions. For example, quite recently I had to use a non-standard method of persuasion, but it can be described more like a conversation between a man and a man. In addition, our side has attracted another level of negotiators - people holding higher administrative positions.

The first stage of negotiations should involve managers who are able to make decisions on their own and deal with non-standard situations correctly. Communication at the level of directors or owners is already the last stage, since there is less room for maneuver.

Tough Negotiation Strategies

There are two strategies for conducting tough negotiations - defensive (defensive) and attacking.

Protective strategy. It should be used if you assume that the opponent is stronger than you professionally, emotionally and mentally. In this case, it is necessary to strictly fix those parameters below which it is impossible to fall. Ideally, the person who enters into such negotiations should not have the authority to make the final decision. For example, you are negotiating, and the contract itself is signed and endorsed by people who were not present at the negotiations, for example, members of the board of directors.

Usually, negotiations with the authorities follow this scheme. A businessman who decides mainly commercial rather than political issues is a weaker negotiator compared to a politician.

Attack strategy. It is better to use it if you are counting on winning. It is better to send a person to such negotiations who will be able to quickly navigate and make the right decision. For an attacking strategy, conflict is often beneficial: during a conflict, a person loses control over himself and becomes easily controlled. In a state of passion, the negotiator is able to make mistakes, which you can then use to your advantage.

An example of such tough negotiations is public debate, when it is extremely beneficial for the opposing side to lose control of itself. Literally a couple of phrases - and your opponent starts screaming, spitting, slurring his own thoughts, saying too much, and this makes a negative impression on the audience. As a result, you, calm and reasonable, find yourself in a more advantageous position.

It will help you become an expert in negotiation.

How to deal with tough negotiations

Daria Ageeva, practicing psychologist, Master of the Faculty of Psychology, St. Petersburg State University

1. If the partner shouts or bursts into a furious speech in response to your proposals, then it is better to stop the negotiations or listen in silence (deep slow breaths and exhalations help to keep calm). When the partner stops screaming, say that you think this behavior is not constructive, and offer to focus on a specific problem. You can also politely say, "Sorry, we're having a misunderstanding here." If you can’t pause (due to time limits), go back. Re-state the main provisions in the thesis form. This will slow down the pace of negotiations.

2. If you receive a lot of information and do not have time to think it over, or they try to overload you with it, you need to slow down. Keeping records helps. In addition, if you did not take notes and suddenly start taking notes (with the words: “This is really curious, let me write it down!”), The person begins to think that he said something superfluous and slows down the pace of the conversation.

3. If you feel that they are openly trying to manipulate you, switch roles. Counter with the phrase: “Good idea, what do you think about it? Personally, I'm not entirely sure."

4. When faced with an indisputable fact, use an emotional response. An expression like “I don’t like this” or “This offer doesn’t make me very happy” is often stronger than good arguments.

5. If you are insulted, you can, in order to remain calm, switch from auditory to visual sensations - begin to carefully examine any object. You can play the situation in your imagination and present your partner in a funny way (for example, reduce the height of the person who caused the anger, presenting him as a bug).

6. If you feel that your emotions are on the edge, try to become aware of what emotions you are experiencing. Name them: I'm scared, I feel guilty, I'm irritated. Next, trace where tension arises in the body, and try to relax, stretch this place. Transfer the focus of attention from emotions, thoughts to physical sensations - pull the soles of your feet towards you so that tension appears in the calves, then slowly relax. A great way to relax is deliberately slow motion. Slowly take a bottle of water, slowly pour water into a glass, drink in small sips while looking at the bubbles.

How to Smooth Out Tough Negotiations

Tough negotiations can and even need to be translated into soft ones, especially in cases where you are aimed at long-term cooperation. Use the following methods:

Be open to the interlocutor. To translate tough negotiations into soft ones, you must first of all be flexible and open yourself. Clearly state your position: perhaps this will make your interlocutor go the same way (see. Seller and Buyer).

Talk about neutral topics. At the beginning of tense negotiations, it is sometimes useful to touch on topics that are not related to the conversation, but are interesting for the interlocutors, for example, hobbies (see. Tactics "become your own").If you are meeting for the first time, you can tell a little about yourself and your company. Naturally, you will achieve a greater effect if you do not turn the conversation into an official presentation.

Examples of tough negotiations in practice

Hayk Lazaryan, General Director of VIP Cruise, Moscow

Example #1. Once we had important negotiations with a German cruise company, the purpose of which was to conclude a very lucrative contract giving the exclusive right to sell cruises of this company on the Russian market. Naturally, the Germans considered several more similar proposals.

The German partners who arrived impressed us with their unfriendly appearance and closeness. First, we laid a chic table in our office. After lunch, negotiations began, which were very difficult, and at some point we had to take a break.

After the coffee break, the tense tone of the German side softened a bit. But two hours later, when the main issues were discussed, the Germans made it clear that they were hungry again. Then I decided to take the guests to a good restaurant. But the discussion of possible cooperation that continued in the restaurant was not easy. The partners offered unacceptable conditions, did not listen to our arguments at all and did not want to make any concessions. There was no compromise. At some point, it began to seem to me that the Germans were hesitating and were not yet inclined to make a final decision in our favor. Then I wanted to hit them with something. Estimating that our competitors, most likely, took them to restaurants and Russian cuisine with nesting dolls will not surprise them, I suggested that the guests go to the Russian bath. Naturally, they agreed. We rented VIP apartments, which had everything: a steam room, relaxation rooms, and our own bar. The Germans rested from seven in the evening until half past four in the morning. As a result, the costs paid off: we won the tender and signed a contract on favorable terms for us. So sometimes in a situation of tough negotiations one should find non-standard solutions: the method of switching attention works flawlessly.

Example #2. It happens that people call and express their claims to me personally. Such negotiations cannot be called soft, and my task, as a leader who is interested in his clients, is to relieve tension and transfer negotiations to a peaceful course.

I make it clear to the person that I hear him, I delve into his problems. This is achieved by an elementary repetition technique. For example, he says: “You didn’t deliver the goods to us!”. I support: “Understood. We didn't deliver the goods to you." Claims continue: "Even in the delivery was a marriage." I answer: “Clearly. Also a marriage in delivery. And I even ask the client to speak more slowly, as I really write down the details of the claim. If a person understands that his dissatisfaction is taken into account, he will not aggressively demonstrate his "fi". The result is a useful, constructive conversation for both parties.

You can successfully repel an attack by asking: “Introduce yourself, please. What is the name of your legal entity? The more details you specify, the closer you will be to a conflict-free conversation. You asked a question, you answered it - this is already a constructive interaction. If there are professionals on both sides, any deal turns into soft negotiations.

Example #3. If the situation is heating up, then any abrupt action will help, a blow to the table, loudly said “Enough!”, An unexpected comparison. Incorrect questions should be answered openly and symmetrical questions should be asked as soon as possible. For example, in the framework of cooperation negotiations, you are asked: “Do you want to cash in on us?”. The answer should be: “Yes, we want to make money. You are not?".

If you are forced to do something, say loudly: “You are putting pressure on me!”. Once this is said, the possibilities of manipulation by your interlocutor are greatly reduced. Then you can turn the conversation into a peaceful direction (if you are planning a long-term cooperation) or even launch an offensive.

During tough negotiations, it is important to learn how to control your condition. Try to look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. This approach will help to timely determine the line beyond which you can become a puppet in someone's hands. You should be concerned if your gestures have changed, you have begun to perform strange actions: tapping on the table, unreasonably rubbing your hands or feet. So, stroking the thighs with both hands is a subconscious gesture that means that you want to leave the place of negotiations. If you notice this, it means that the subconscious mind is signaling you about the danger. In this case, it is best to go out for a while, calm down and decide whether you want to continue negotiations or not. It is very useful to wash your face: the impact of water on the forehead triggers reflex mechanisms that calm the heartbeat and regulate metabolism. In three to five minutes, you can regain your balance and decide whether you need to continue the conversation. If not, say that, unfortunately, an urgent call has come in and you are forced to leave the negotiations. If you think that it is necessary to bring the matter to the end, calm down, gather your strength and go for the next "portion".