Return the guy: why does it work for you?

Immediately after breaking the relationship, if the guy leaves, you have an irresistible desire to return it, which leads to impulsive actions: requests, plenty, persuasions, constant reminders of themselves, etc. Are these actions? Can they help return the guy?

The girls are addressed to me with a request to explain why I advise you to stop contacts with your former, and I think that this is exactly what is the return of your loved one?

The question of one of our readers, asked, pushed me to the idea that many do not understand the essence of this obvious reception - the cessation of contacts with the former.

Some women are trying to enter into a discussion with me and prove that in their past experience, they just did not interrupt contacts, but they constantly reminded themselves who had thrown their guy, threw him sms, phone calls, begged back, told how they suffer, love And what are ready to go only to be again with them ... and, allegedly, it works - the guy returns.

It seems to be plausible, if not for one nuance. All these women, challenging obvious, ultimately, appeal to me with a request, still help them again return the men who threw them. What does it say about? - This confirms the truth that I already led in past articles: "A man will never return to a woman out of pity! NEVER".

Yes, you can succumb to prayers and persuasions, especially if the guy is sentimental man, and return to the girl to calm her, but this return will be short-term (if it takes place at all).

Now we will turn to the essence of the question - why the elimination of contacts is the best way to restore relations and the best way to return the guy.

A bit of theory

For clarity, I drew a schedule. Unfortunately, I do not have a high artistic gift, but I tried to be clear.

So, before you temporary schedule of development of relations.

As you can see, this graph has two axes: the X axis displays the time, and the y axis is the nature of the relationship. The solid line shows your attitude towards the guy, and the dotted is the attitude of the guy to you.

• PlotA-B. - A period of normal relations is displayed here. You both are in a positive zone with small oscillations, which, at the same time, do not have any strong influence and are part of any relationship.
• PlotB-C. - The period is shown here, which precedes the rupture of the relationship. We will not stop for the reasons now, but just look at the schedule. You see how the guy's relationship curve seeks to you towards the negative. Perhaps this is already caused by quarrels, disagreements or something else. At the same time, the curve of your attitude towards the guy leaves up to even more positive. This is happening, because you already consciously or subconsciously understand that you can lose your beloved, and its shortcomings cease to play such an important role for you, as a result of which your curve moves up.
• Point S. - This is the moment of breaking relationships. At the break point, your curve reaches the peak of a positive, and the curve of your guy is the peak of the negative.

Let's stop at the point with more detail. Relationships stopped, so we can say that time stopped just at this very point S. In fact, time, naturally, is not worth it, but it goes forward, but for your relationship it stopped and "frozen". Now you have different times from your boyfriend - different lives.

What will happen if you immediately immediately try to return your former guy. Pay attention to the word "Return". It very accurately displays the process itself, the essence of which is that you want to return time! And want to return "at this time" and yourself and your guy.

But what is this during? Human memory is so arranged that it cannot be moved back and "jump" through the most vivid events of the past (good or bad). And the brightest event is that which was the last and most emotionally saturated. For you both is a gap.

And now look at the schedule again. Where do you think you want to get you back both? - It seems to you that the site A-B, but in fact you are trying to return to a point with, more precisely in a second to it. But what is the problem - in this place of the temporary segment your attitude towards the guy was at the peak of a positive, and it is to you - at the peak of the negative. You will be pleased to go there, is it clear, but a guy? - I do not think!

Therefore, any of your midwives return the guy to the point C, it will perceive, as the need to return to the time of its maximum negative and, of course, will try any way to avoid it - not to return to you.

In addition, you are for a guy and it for you are triggers (switches or irritants) that provoke certain feelings. For you, the guy "provocateur" of positive feelings, and you for him are negative. Trying not to lose contact with the former, you ourselves make these triggers work, but they "help you" remain at the peak of a positive, and to him at the peak of the negative.

However, your prayers, requests and exhortations can make a guy (with great reluctance) to return to the point C, but this will happen only if it clears over you. At the same time, he will not be able to stay long at this point, and will soon leave you from you. Because your relationship will not be built on a mutual positive. See how simple.

Now let's look at another schedule, which shows what happens after breaking the relationship.

If you give up contacts with the former, then thus remove the triggers that make you be in your peak phases - in a positive, and it is in a negative, and the following will happen:

• PlotC-D.Human memory "Humanna", so gradually negative aspects of relations will be departed to the background for your former guy. From the depths of emotional memory will begin to go out on the surface of good memories, pleasant emotions and many other good connected with you. You also will "drop a degree", it will allow you to more soberly and rationally think, critically evaluating your behavior that, ultimately, will allow you to see the reasons for the break and take measures to not repetition of such mistakes in the future.
• PlotD-E. As soon as the guy's attitude towards you will cross the d point D, the chance to return it becomes very high. The whole trouble is that most girls do not give a guy the opportunity to achieve this point and try (without understanding it) to keep it in the negative zone in relation to oneself C-D..

And if he forget me at all?

Will not forget. Men do not forget girls or women to whom they at one time experienced strong feelings. Moreover, it should not be physical proximity at all.

Now, in connection with the development of social networks, a problem arose when men leave families and go to women with whom he met only a few months at the time of their youth. This happens after 10 and after 20 and even after 30 years. Compare these terms with your weeks and months is just ridiculous.

Therefore, do not worry, it will not forget anything, on the contrary, the more there were bright moments with him, the stronger and brighter they will "pop up" in memory of the time, and the bad will go deeper and deeper - to the background. The longer the time it is, the easier the guy will return, no matter how paradoxically sounded it.

You should also consider the "factor of another woman". At that time, while you stay in the past and your image in memory of a man "brightens" as it removes from point C, another woman with which he is currently being gaining "negative glasses". So it always happens in any way, you yourself know it yourself - first everything is perfect, and then the first quarrels and misunderstanding begin.

I hope I explained everything. At least she tried, as she could.

From the author: My responses in the comments are the opinion of a private person, and not a recommendation of a specialist. I'm trying to answer everyone without exception, but unfortunately physically I do not have time to study long stories, analyze them, ask questions about them and then respond in detail, and I do not have the opportunity to accompany your situations, because it requires a huge amount of free time, and I have it very little.

In this regard, I really ask you to ask specific questions on the topic of the article, do not try to use comments for correspondence or chat and not count that I will advise in the comments.

Of course, you can ignore my request (which many do), but then be prepared for what I ignore your. This is not a question of principle, but exclusively time and my physical abilities. Do not be offended.

If you want to get qualified help, please contact the advice, and I will devote my time and knowledge with complete return.

With Respect and Hope for Understanding, Frederick