How to learn to communicate with people? Secrets of proper behavior. What gives communication with people

The basic principles of the psychology of communication are based on the literary works of researchers of human behavior in society. A number of rules developed by Dale Carnegie in the 40s are relevant now.

To competently build offers and produce a good impression on the interlocutor, take advantage of psychological techniques:

Be interested. Do not yaw and do not worry. Show what is sympathetic to a person, manifest interest in his activities.
Call positive emotions. Do not hide your smile. Scientists have proven that smiling people are more successful.
Call comrade by name. Personal appeal is a verbal compliment, by this you show that the information is intended for the interlocutor.
Be careful. Important quality - the ability not only to hear, but also listen.
Show respect for the opponent, ask leading questions, surprise the heard facts and show more emotions.
Find a common topic. Try to win the location to yourself, do not be shy and closed in yourself.
Build friendship with neighbor, and with a business partner.
Be sincere. Reptouse and flatter - not the best move. The tight delight will only push the interlocutor. Praise the qualities that really admire you in a person.

Tip! If you are hard to communicate with unfamiliar people, practice on the phone.

The lack of visual contact will get rid of the constraint. Call the hairdresser or cosmetic salon.

Prepare for a conversation in advance, make a list of questions if you are confused during communication.

Development of communicative abilities

The psychology of communication is art. The soul of the company can even become an introvert, closed in itself. It is only worth knowing several "focus" constructing relationships.

Skills	Development
Observation	Hack items, follow the non-verbal behavior of the interlocutor to get the style of communication, in which you will come to mutual understanding
Memory	Remember what your comrade says. Pay attention to the personal details of his life, hobbies, in order to mention in conversation
Erudition	Comprehensive development expands the circle common topics. Eruded man support any conversation
Understanding	Be sensitive. Man's behavior shows his mood. Mimic can be considered exciting emotions. Support and understanding - the key to the beginning of friendship
Training	Communicate every day. Scientists have proven that regular communication increases efficiency and productivity. The more you socialize, the easier you will find mutual language with people

Important! Be natural, do not turn the art of communication in the acting game.

Non-verbal psychology

Whatever interesting information is, the owner must competently present its essence. Who will listen to the bubbly whisper of the uncertain speaker? Behavior and ability to behave in society - that's what makes others listen to listening to you!

"Language" eye. Get rid of uncertainty, boldly take a look into the eyes of the interlocutor and show that you are interested in supporting friendships.
Running look - a sign of disrespect showing that you are bored.
Mimic. Each emotion is reflected on the face. Even flirting can only be a corner of the mouth.
Do not talk about a sad with a smile or positive with pursed lips. Combine internal state with external.
Signs. Non-verbal behavior is a whole science. Keep your hands at the level of abdomen or hollow, crossed palms are stiffness and distrust of others.
Open posture subconsciously has an interlocutor. Learn to freely own non-verbal admission of communication.

Tip! Trade in front of the mirror every day. Read poems, pronounce speech or imagine yourself as a teacher.

Such a training will help you overcome closure and feel calm, talking to people.

Exercises for free and easy communication with unfamiliar people

Contact your psychologist for help if the close circle of communication is not replenished. But there is a way that will help to overcome timidity at home.

A small training is the beginning of work on yourself:

Monologue out loud. Sit more convenient, take your favorite children's toy or book. Turn on the fantasy and imagine that the subject in your hands is your listener.
Such training is not so simple, as it seems. Speak about yourself, about your activity, speak beautifully, connected offers.
Such an exercise will help strudule the course of thoughts in your head and competently express them out loud.
Dialogue with a stranger. Talk on the street. Ask passeling how to go to the library, check with the seller about the quality of the goods, ask to advise you.
Get acquainted with someone in a cafe or movie. Such training will save from fear to take the first step.
Remember the details. After dialogue with a stranger, remember what he was dressed as the color of his eyes, hair, which was reported by the interlocutor.
Develop long-term memory, reproduce a person's face, style and voice in memory. Exercise trains attentiveness.
Praise. Make compliments, each person has advantages. Find them and admire aloud. But be sincere, do not forget that flax easily recognize.

Tip! Watch the speech. Speak clearly and clearly, without hiding and stuttering.

Top books and literature

Are interested in? Find out the details from the book. Researchers of human behavior published many works on psychology.

Check out S. best literaturewhich will help you perfectly master the skills of communication:

Eric Burn "Games that people play."
Dale Carnegie "How to conquer friends and influence people."
Larry King "How to talk with anyone, when you want and whatever."
Sigmund Freud "Psychology of Mass and Analysis of the Human I".
Karen Pryor "Do not grow on a dog."

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Secrets of communicability - What affects the ability to communicate, how to overcome the fear of communication and become an interesting interlocutor?

Many people as their advantages indicate such quality as sociable, or the ability to communicate with other people. However, in fact it often it turns out that their ability to communicate only in a certain company of people close to them (relatives or friends), in front of which you can not comply with some rules of correctness. For example, you can often see young people who, standing as a circle, express their thoughts and relationships exclusively with the help of obscene vocabulary. At the same time, they can slap each other on the backs, to conduct a comic fight, laugh loudly and comment on the words of the interlocutors only with the help of short "matery" words. When such people get into the company unfamiliar to them, their more than liberal behavior changes dramatically: they become clamped, they can not say almost nothing intelligible. When communicating with the persons of the opposite sex, the same situation may occur, especially if the attracted person speaks not in the manner usual, but it has the ability to clearly and clearly state their thoughts without resorting to "strong" expressions.

What factors affect the ability to communicate with other people

Often there are situations when the person we know is as positive in all respects, a beautiful interlocutor, suddenly begins to behave somewhat differently. It can be scattered, at times aggressively react even to the most trifling remarks and replicas, generally abandon the intention even to support the visibility of the conversation and completely clicter in itself. Uncertain people usually perceive it completely at their own expense and begin to respond to the same aggression either leave the interlocutor.

The question arises, what's the matter? Before starting communication with others, it is necessary to distract from any negative thoughts and states. If you yourself or your interlocutor got up not from that foot, all his charm can evaporate somewhere. Only irritated struggle will remain, who no longer inspires any warm feelings and with which they simply do not want to be in the same room.

It happens that the interlocutors do not feel confidence in each other and the conversation in the company is bad glued. Just sit and look at each other uninteresting, so someone takes the courage to start the conversation first. What is he doing? First of all, you need to get acquainted with other people sitting around, call your name. The feeling of distrust arises in the event that a person who began this process will recognize the names of other present, but at the same time he does not call his name.

Often the initiative in communication comes from one person

Another nuance is to start or interfere in the conversation, without relying on interesting and familiar to other people themes. Not knowing what others say, it is possible to get to him and then all the remaining evening spend, evil on yourself and others for what happened.

The complete absence of any manifestations of emotions or, on the contrary, excessive emotionality, especially exaltation, also do not cause desire to communicate with a person who demonstrates all this. It seems that he is either too "frozen" in relation to the expression of his feelings, or simply does not know when to stop if he shows his feelings. Both sharply reduces the level of confidence and the desire to communicate. The narrative of experiences, smiles and laughter is not to the place - these are clearly not those tools that allow you to arrange other people to ourselves and create a favorable to communicate atmosphere.

You had to see how people don't even know each other very well, sometimes create interesting situations when they want to communicate? They sit down closer, but not so much so that by the part of their communication looked too intimate. It is also difficult to imagine how you can interest another person by itself, being about 3-5 meters away from it, and talk to personal topics. On the other hand, if a perfectly unfamiliar man sits close to you, it begins to grab your hands, patted on the shoulder or annoyed in the ear ... This behavior usually causes a desire to stop chatting and escape from Visazi as soon as possible.

Or such a case when someone himself calls about something, not even paying attention to the reaction of others. Every his word is accompanied by unlimited gesticulation, annoying closer looks or at all does not look at anyone. One can only guess what desires are in the souls of those who did not seem to be near ...

Failed communication experience can make you closed

Summing up the above, we note that such factors affect the ability of a person to communicate with others:

emotional state of interlocutors;
community of interests of those present;
visual contact and distance between interlocutors;
sense of self-confidence;
emotional involvement in the communication process;
the ability to listen to others.

How to learn to communicate with other people

Some people sometimes cause a slight envy of what can easily communicate with those who surround them. It seems that the opportunity to approach someone and to start a conversation with him does not represent anything complicated for them. And for others, the thought itself seems to be just frightened: what if this man tells something that after his words it will just want to fall through the earth? Or die in place?

Often it is difficult to start a conversation.

Refuse prejudice. Starting communication with another person, you need to abandon any finished installations and thoughts on his account. It is different "cockroaches" like "And if", "And suddenly", "God forbid" and others can already in the embryo to suppress your ability to see a person in front of them. A person, not the label that you managed to hang on him because of his appearance or behavior. Remember, no one is responsible for your cargo of experienced failures or what you call your failure. You are also not an angel, and with your shortcomings you have to put up to other people. Better pay attention to positive traits The person with whom you communicate. As psychotherapists say, there are no flaws in man, but there are peculiar advantages to which you need to look around and learn to accept them.

Be sure to yourself. An important key to developing the ability to communicate with others is to be confident by a person. Moreover, a person with such qualities we calculate intuitively. Such a person behaves without too much fuss, picks up words, is not afraid to watch the interlocutor into the eyes and express his emotions. At the same time, he does not protrude his knowledge and competence, expressing the right language, does not try to crush his status and authority. Before you give an answer, it is withstanding a small pause, says measured and quietly, but not in a whisper.

Support visual contact and use feedback. Usually people who spend good interlocutors can listen to others. It is expressed in the fact that they not only listen, but also ask different clarifying questions and encourage the interlocutor. At the same time, they look at the interlocutor from time to time, but they do not use X-ray looking at. Usually a close police glance usually raises a desire to escape from such a deep immersion in someone's inner world.

Head to listen to the interlocutor

Do not decide for your interlocutor, how to behave. Often in movies on the relationship between men and women, such a moment be played when the cause of conflicts is shown - the inability to listen to another person. He talks about his own, you about your own. Then everyone begins to accuse the other in inattention, but for some reason, no one has the thought that all the fault may have own egoism and improper expectations regarding other people. In the sense that a person is more interested in his thoughts, feelings and relationships than other people from the nearest environment. It's like a joke that a man, going to the bathroom to wash and shave, came out from there with a divorced person for some five minutes. And all because the wife asked some kind of question, herself answered himself, got angry, offended and ... Finite for a comedy.

Express your thoughts clearly and clear. Learn to express your thoughts in an affordable and clear manner. Some believe that a particular highlight of the conversation is given to the missing and the ability to read between the lines. Usually everything happens with accuracy to the opposite: if someone does not understand completely, what it is about, he begins to experience a feeling of irritation, boredom appears and the desire to just retire somewhere else to another place. Where everyone talks about understandable things and understandable.

Avoid evaluation judgments and be able to ask questions. It is also important to be able to avoid evaluation reactions like "nonsense", "nonsense" or "invent too!". When the interlocutor receives such an assessment from the communication partner, he has an impression that it is not interesting to anyone who excited his questions. It wakes up a sense of own insignificance and inferiority. Whatever he says, you need to listen to it to the end. But not bombing a person with an endless flow of questions, otherwise he will decide that he is in questioning with the addiction, and will try to interrupt a serious communication for him.

Come on to manage the attention of the interlocutor. An important point that allows you to arrange other people to yourself - the ability to control space and your body. This means that you need to be able to cut or increase the distance of each other and the interlocutor. For example, if you think that the atmosphere is too injected, it makes sense, using the pretext, leave a person alone with his thoughts for a while. You can disappear from the field of his vision, but do not interrupt communication. You can ask questions or tell something, better with a humorous subtext. It is better to switch the attention of the interlocutor to something else, distract it in this way. For example, to offer a cup of tea or coffee, offer sweet or fruit. The psychological meaning is that, from a verbal, mental or emotional channel, a person switches to the level of sensations and the voltage is reduced.

Expand your horizons and vocabulary. A person who knows even the most simple things to set out beautiful literary language, immediately attracts attention. People begin to stretch to him simply from the desire to talk and listen. Remember, Duma described the oldest of Musketeers - Athos? Despite his modest clothes, he immediately became the center of attention of any company. It was distinguished not only by magnificent manners, but also the ability to support the conversation on any topic. He even surprised the king, who considered himself a connoisseur in the field of falconry.

The most important thing - do not be afraid to communicate! Even if you are not answered as you wanted, you personally will not happen to happen to you. A negative result is also a result that gives life experience. But the next time you will know that there are some nuances with which you have to be very attentive. Without practice, any skill is atrophy. Including the ability to say something ...

With the advent of humanity, there was a tremendous need for communication. Even in ancient times, it was impossible to warn the tribesman, to express his sympathy of a woman, to teach children to survive and hunt, passing their knowledge and skills. Today we have a clear system of symbols, through which we can say absolutely all that we think. But even B. modern society Some people have difficulty communicating and do not always know how to overcome them.

Features

From the very birth, we begin to learn the language in which they subsequently talk all their life. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, it can be compared with sound resistance. He says the man then when in his words makes sense when they are used with some value in a particular situation.

As matters, it has to communicate more and more. It depends on its successful socialization in children's gardenThe ability to "take care" at school, the degree of success at the university and at work. Communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting interlocutor for them, be able to attract attention. Adults should see in you a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is nice to deal.

But it is difficult to be interesting enough for everyone, and for some this goal may be practically unattainable. Several factors that interfere with people fully communicate:

Personal complexes and insecurity. In this case, a person simply does not believe that someone can interest talking, it does not decide to express his thoughts and ideas.
Opposite phenomenon - heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves higher than others. The surrounding do not understand them and do not seek to go with them to contact.
Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, insecurity.
Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the circle to which a person can communicate, because it quickly becomes boring with him.

The role of communication

Communication always played an important role in a person's life. As soon as people have learned to contact each other, it became an important skill Correct the dialogue correctly, please the one who likes, even verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in the life of a person to be able to control and subjugate that without the skills of proper communication can not work out. In addition, the consequences of the inability to conduct a dialogue can even negatively affect your life.

Success in school or university is explained not only by a pleasant appearance. For the most part, "popular" people know how to communicate, holding attention to their personality. In work and in personal life it is also important.

At work, you may not be raised by the post, even if you are worthy of simply because you can not successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you will not avoid problems, if you do not learn how to find a common language with a partner. If you do not have common topics for conversation, or you will not be able to solve controversial situations and find a compromise, relationships can "give a crack."

All modern society is based on the ability to correctly build speech and contact with others. Famous politicians, science and art figures would not be so famous if they could not subjugate the attention of a large number of people in one word.

Therefore, if you want to be successful and happy, it is important to learn to communicate with people, correct your speech shortcomings and improve in this area.

Ways to achieve efficiency

In modern society, the ability to negotiate the conversation is an important aspect. In the process of communication there is a perception of each other by the interlocutors, the exchange of information, personal and business interaction, the search for solutions.

If you have not received speech skills from nature, you should not "hang my nose" and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and seek in conversation necessary results You can learn yourself. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to decompose the process of communication to the components and specifically to work every one of them:

Acquire confidence - an important point.First of all, to learn how to communicate normally, you need to start respecting yourself. You must confidently express our thoughts, even if they are mistaken, because your point of view has the right to exist. Your opponent will understand that you need to be considered that your judgments make sense, and they can be listed.
Try to cope with fear. Many insecure people behave in a dialogue passively. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in anything, to express their opinion so as not to enjoy the indignation of others. They are afraid of condemning views, possible unpleasant comments in their address. Do not be afraid to deal with the way you are comfortable, ask about everything that interests you.

Treat the interlocutor respectfully and tactfully. Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to completely speak, even if you disagree with his arguments. Only then calmly express your opinion.
Try not to be distracted by foreign topics. The ability to beautifully and competently state their thoughts, while speaking essentially, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
You must be able to call the confidence of the interlocutor. To achieve this goal, you need quite a bit - just look into the eye partner. Thanks to the audience contact, you can easily establish a connection. If a person lowers or hides his eyes, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of constraint. It is more often regarded as insincerity or even a lie. Such a conversation does not bring anything good.

It is important to show genuine interest in the interlocutor. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to tell about myself, express my thoughts. Do not speak a lot. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he hardly wants to talk with you again. You need to make a person felt in your company at ease. Interest in the conversation should be mutual. Do not forget to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you just get acquainted with a person and want to learn more about him. The art of the correct formulation of questions makes it possible to receive full-fledged deployed responses instead of discreet "yes" or "no". So you can make a conversation easy and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confidently and freely in your society.
Using knowledge and erudition- no less important moment. A person who has a big margin of knowledge is easier to start and support any conversation. Communication with such people delivers a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

How to be interesting?

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of the conversation, it is important to be able to have people to be interesting for others. Correctly chosen topic - half of the success. If you prepare in advance for the conversation, read as much information on this issue as possible, you will be well oriented in it and always find what to say. It is only important to issue information portion and at the right moments, otherwise communication will be similar to the report.

To the topic of the conversation was interesting and convenient for everyone, It is important to clarify whether someone does not mind this conversation, and only then begin an active discussion.Unwillingness of someone from the group to communicate can show its weak knowledge in this matter or greater insecurity. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, it is necessary to involve him in a conversation, ask his opinion. Gradually, a person will find confidence and will be a member of the conversation.

Do not be afraid to communicate with people of different professions, interests, social status. Over time, you will learn to adapt to any conversation and correctly "serve" yourself in society.

Communication in the collective

In order for communication in the team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to consider only two main factor. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each participant of the team or a specific conversation. If you communicate with new people for yourself, try to cross the common phrases with each conversation member to draw up an opinion about it, to determine the type of it temperament, learn about the characteristics of the character.

Taking on the construction of the right communication in the team, it is important to communicate with each at its level (except those who are superior to people). All members of the team should feel necessary and respected. Only then the Communication process will be pleasant and successful.

The second point is the ability to listen.We know how to talk since childhood, but the art of attentive attitude towards the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary in order for the conversation to be interesting, informative and pleasant to all of its participants. Do not interrupt the storytellor. So you will impress a non-cultural person. In addition, your intervention can knock down the speaker. Respect all the participants in the conversation, and you will also be treated.

Dialogue with opposite floor

Acquaintance with the opposite sex man requires special skills. Even with confidence in herself and positive communication experience with their peers, to begin communication with the representative of the opposite sex is not easy. To get acquainted with both sides, it is important to adhere to some tips:

Be natural. Do not try to constantly joke or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then and conquer your future soulam. Only so you can make communication alive and fascinating.
Starting the conversation, follow not only for vocabulary, but also for the correctness of humor and raised in conversation. Inappropriate jokes and too personal questions may not only not be interested in a person, but even push it away.
When you first get acquainted, keep the distance, respect your personal space. It is not worth hugging a representative oppositely the floor without his consent. At the beginning of the interaction, it is better to make focus on building a dialogue.
When first contact, it is often important to watch the interlocutor in the eyes and sincerely smile. It will show your openness, interest and sympathy for a person. Only so you will have a nice conversation that will further paint into something more.

Communication process with different people

In the process of daily communication, we are faced with a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communicating with each specific person. It is necessary to learn to apply an individual approach to various interlocutors, otherwise you can be in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique person, and you need to reckon with it. If you do not agree with someone, it's not necessary to criticize him right away. Quietly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

If the phrases or jokes of the interlocutor annoyed you, it is better to translate communication to another bed, so you can avoid conflict. If you start openly make comments, you can provoke a scandal.

Communicating with one people, do not discuss others. First, your words can sooner or later "walk" to the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who all discusses and criticizes, will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will be offended by people. Few will want to openly communicate with such an unpleasant personality.

To build a dialogue with any interlocutor, it is important to take it to him with respect, try to understand the features of his character, choose the topics that are interested in both sides of the dialogue. Before fiercely joining a discussion with an unfamiliar person, it is worth checking the "soil", talk about something neutral.

How to stop afraid?

Often unsure people are afraid to start communicating with someone unfamiliar. Such personalities are difficult to find friends, start romantic relationships. In the conversation, they are afraid to take the initiative, because for them is unacceptable condemnation of their point of view, the risk to hear the mockery to their address.

Such fear is often associated with the events that occurred in childhood or adolescence. In these periods, the psyche of man is still unstable, and it is easy for an irreparable blow.

If you are having to start a conversation or take an active part in discussions and cannot cope with it, try special exercises. They will help you to liberate and gain self-confidence.

If you cannot cope with the problem, even in this way, you should turn to a psychologist. Professional Help B. this case It will be the best solution.

To communicate with you interesting and enjoyable, do not forget about the main points:

be tactical and polite, respect to the interlocutor;
carefully select words and intonation for a conversation to not offend anyone;
do not underestimate the role of gestures, many "read" your mood and attitude to conversation for them;
be careful to people, and they will answer you the same.

Many people experience fear of communicating with people. Some people easily appear in front of a huge audience, easily dating and easily support any conversation by filling her jokes. For some, support the usual household conversation - a whole problem. Why is this happening? How to learn to communicate with people? Is it possible to learn to communicate easily and not feel the fear or is it a gift that is not available to everyone?

Communication skills are necessary for us every day. Many people think that this skill is needed only to businessmen to successfully negotiate. But it is not. Psychologists have proven that communication with people is one of the basic needs of a person who will not be able to replace anything else. Any relationship between people, whether friendship, marital relationships are impossible without communication. This is the basic need of a person, from which the sense of security depends, the feeling that we are loved and someone is needed, the feeling that we deserve respect.

Not the ability to communicate often leads to divorces, because the partners simply did not learn to negotiate. Many suffer from loneliness only because they are afraid to approach and make a new acquaintance. Communication, relations and psychology are inextricably linked and very strongly affected by the quality of life of a person.

The ability to communicate is necessary to each person, this is the key to success in many areas of life. You must understand what to talk and communicate is not the same thing. The concept of communication in psychology is a rather complex process that includes both verbal and non-verbal communication. An important role is played not only the meaning of your words, but also the timbre of your voice, intonation, poses and gestures. And the most important thing is the thoughts and feelings that are in your subconscious.

The interlocutors always feel, what feelings and emotions you are experiencing when communicating. The psychology of interpersonal communication studies the problem, what do people actually be afraid when communicating, what feelings do they have? It may be the fear of rejection or failure, anger on offenders, the fear of saying something nefopal, to be incomprehensible and untapped, fear to express your opinion, low self-esteem and problems with diction.

Fear of communicating with people usually begins in childhood. And becoming an adult, many can not survive some psychological traumainflicted by parents or peers. "Do not say nonsense" - the crown phrase of many parents, who sow in the child an insecurity of himself practically for life. Often influence the painful performances at the board or ridicule of peers. Of course, it may be not such deep problems. For example, a person may experience difficulties in communicating if it is unable to install contacts, too modest, shy, has a low self-esteem or complexes about appearance, it is afraid to cause the displeasure of other people or due to character, unable to listen and understand other people.

If you are aware of your problem and often tell yourself: "I don't know how to communicate," it's time it has come to communicate with a psychologist who will help to find the reason for the disorder of your communication abilities and will give practical recommendationshow to eliminate them. You can also help yourself.

Now there are a lot of worthy books on the psychology of communication, which are worth reading:

"The power of charm. How to conquer the hearts and seek success "(Brian Tracy, Ron Arden)
"Psychology of Influence" (Robert Challini)
"Hidden managing man" (Viktor Shaynov)
"Mentalist" (Frederick Rapil)
"Grossmaster Communication" (Sergey Dryabo)
"Do not grow on a dog" (Karen Pryor)
"Psychology of Mass and Human Analysis I" (Sigmund Freud)
"How to talk with anyone, when you want and anywhere" (Larry King)
"How to conquer friends and influence people" (Dale Carnegie)
"The games in which people play" (Eric Burn)

How to learn to communicate with people: communication rules

It has best formulated the rules of communication Dale Carnegie in his books. Here is some of them:

Secrets of communication include non-verbal communications techniques. To fully learn to communicate, you need to learn the language of the television. It is unlikely that someone will carefully listen to the speaker who will stand in front of the public bumping and the bubble something under his breath. People always pay attention to the voice of voice and speech speed. Also special attention is attracted by man's eyes. We often notice, he looks confident, a bevel, slyly or "eyes are burning." There are psychological trainings that learn correctly look at the interlocutor - right, openly, with interest, not angry and without giving it.

As for the facial expressions, it is possible to find out the mood of a person or send certain signals yourself.

In gestures and pose of a person, it can be easily determined, closed or open during communication. If the hands are crossed in pockets or compressed in fists, then this suggests that a person wants to burn out from you, stop chatting. Open poses, deployed palms say that a person wants to communicate. Openness can also be learned on psychological trainings.

Unusual, but effective techniques of communication

To overcome the fear of communication, you can first try to communicate by phone. Write on the leaf of paper all the questions you want to know and call, for example, in the beauty salon. Find out what procedures are, their cost, recommendations. It will be an excellent first step towards overcoming fear.

You can try at least 10 minutes a day to talk with a chair or a vase. It is very difficult, in fact. First tell me how you are doing, then make a conversation plan and stick it. This is a very effective technique for overcoming fear in communicating with people.

Try to start a relaxed conversation with 10 strangers every day. For example, with the seller, pharmacist, neighbor, etc. Try each of them to say some compliment. It is very secrets.

Psychology of communication helps a person get rid of fear of communicating with people. First of all, the psychologist helps to realize that the problem really is, helps to identify the cause of the problem and work on these problems.

A person who is aware of his fear of communicating with people must be pretty to work hard to overcome these problems. In addition to psychological trainings, it is important to read a lot, find out more new information. The goal is not so much in becoming an interesting interlocutor how much to become an interesting person.

If a person notices that they do not want to communicate with him, then he is not interesting. Lack of energy, drive, hobbies and hobbies. But all this is fixable.

Separately there is a problem of communication with the opposite sex. How many lonely women and men who dream to meet their halves. Pollute with a pretty girl or a guy prevents again fear.

You need to know what communicating with the opposite sex, as soon as the moment appears when you no longer talk about, a person loses interest to you. Therefore, you need to learn about the hobbies and hobby guy or a girl, try to figure it out so that you can easily support the conversation.

Often, guys and girls perceive the opposite sex as an alien creature, so to establish contact, the girl will have to learn something about football and beer varieties, and a guy about cosmetics and fashion.

With the opposite sex, try to behave naturally and positively, do not forget to smile, talk compliments, exercise sincere interest.

Do not be afraid to admit if incompetent in some question. Ask the question to your partner, it will be nice to him that you are interested in learn more about his hobbies. In general, when communicating with guys, it is important to concentrate on them, and not yourself. And do not tell too much about yourself, a couple of facts from life and no more. Do not allow in conversation of vulgarity and intimate details at first meetings. Avoid women's gossip and discussion.

When communicating with a girl, sincerely smile, say unobtrusive compliments and ask questions so that she can answer them in the unfolded form.

In general, in order not to experience fear in communication, and in principle, not to have any problems with it, you must first become interesting to yourself and make your life bright and exciting. All you do is do for yourself. You are responsible only for a life, my happiness. As soon as your life is filled with paints, people themselves will search for meetings with you and have a desire to talk to you.

All in your hands!