Revelation of the former drug addict: I was in hell. Revelations Drug Addicts: I found out what hell is a discussion of the story "Confession of the Addict"
Often I see praise or just "hot" discussion, who burned, smoke, smoke and other similar dialogues, monologues, slogans, etc., etc.
It becomes annoying that it is impossible to every "broadcasting" to scroll through a small piece of your life .... with paints, sounds, sensations. Probably, then you could feel the difference.
I'll try simply write (without embellish). No, not to cause pity, compassion or condemnation .... so that at least one think ... and that is good.
Summer, I am 21 years old.
The end of the end of the restructuring ....
The flows of "Plan", Gashika "and all kinds of" accompanying "products of varying degrees of complexity were hung to Moscow. Drinking vodka became unlikely ... for" Bull Kaif ". Fashionably smoke Player or sniff Coke (for wealthy), gerch (middle class), Ketamine has evaporated (teenagers, low-income).
The effects were diverse, I tried everything, but I started with the plan.
It is a lie that the plan in itself involves the transition to a new stage of use, that is, to stronger substances.
No, the plan has a plan. But there is a special environment of communication, where it is necessary (this rule!) People appear (their own, not strangers, you will not feel cautiousness or danger), offering stronger drugs ....
First, the gift and of course just "snatch".
You can give up for a long time, beat yourself with a heel in the chest that you say not like that and only a plan, nothing more. Sooner or later you will become a normal addict ... you can not believe me, but I all went through myself and not alone, but with a bunch of friends, comrades and acquaintances.
First experience:
Sat at work with friends. As always, smoked.
There were still a couple of people, heroin brought.
For us was in Dikovin, the name itself - earlier only in the "non-Russian" cinema heard. I would even say, there was a sort of romance on all this ....
Nobody refused, because we decided only to try, we are not some people, we only planted and that ... only on the occasion.
Then there were "tracks", first impressions:
Blow into the brain, ease, pleasant source and, I would say, loss of conscience. That is, all the "brakes" are released, absolutely all the problems of this reality leave ... no "glitches" or "flights".
Then - nausea is irresistible and vomiting.
Rodalo "farther than seen." After this process, it becomes easily easily and good ... The effect lasted for 40 minutes or a couple of hours.
Development:
Summer, I'm 22 years old.
I was perfectly mastered in the environment of consumed.
We throw off money, occupy, time, lay gold and things to collect the amount for a couple of "balls"
(The heroin was sold in the balls - a small bundle of polyethylene in the form of a ball), we are going to the "banana" Institute of Friendship of Peoples on Patrice Lumumba Street.
Heroine then traded negros.
There - one goes out for the goods and expectation begins
Purchase:
In the park, near the institute, the bugs of blacks are constantly hanging out, as a rule of Barygi.
The balls are kept in the mouth (sometimes, when there was no money at all, we just knocked her teeth with the balls).
You give money, and it spits on the asphalt "balls".
You pick up, you otiray from saliva and immensely satisfying to your own ... - "Daily managed"
An injection:
Spring, I am 23 years old.
The company does not decrease, and the dose is growing.
Soon the mined kayf ceases to "insert" such a crowd of those who want.
It begins so far that the petty lies between themselves, rats (for those who grew up in street teams, do not need to explain what it is when you start lying to your own and clamp, squeezing the buzz).
The company appears a person who explains that if you "smear" (to force), then this ball is not enough what is on us, but on the floor of China !!!
Fear ... The desire of the kayfa .... thrust ... And here we are built in the queue to the "rings" - ourselves and an elephant would not prick.
Parish .... Feelings are 100 times stronger than, from "just sniff"
Yes, they are really indescribable.
Development:
Winter, I am another 23 years.
I'm already tightly sitting on the needle.
Several times "jumped" when "Kumara" began.
This is when the nasty sticky, transparent snotes are constantly flowing, the tears of hail, in the throat is tricky, there is nothing you want, the waterproof, you can not sleep, although I really want, and nothing is interesting ...
That is, absolutely nothing can take yourself. Vacuum! Only one single thought drove the brain:
"I wonder !!! And all this will pass !!! Instant !!! And it will be very good and everyone will merge !!! "
It is only necessary to find money:
Borrow .... no one gives
put something in pawnshop ... everything is laid and so
"Fall on the tail" more wealthy comrades ... But there is no comrades.
There are only trappers and sponsors, as well as intermediaries (the same chops), and sponsors can help out a couple of times no more.
And now they are lying on the bed, you can not do anything, because there is no strength and even desire. Pray on the phone, which can be clenched and spawn ...
... you will say: "Come - everything is there!".
But it happens extremely rarely - it can pass a few days.
Then, in three days, you let go.
You can move relatively well and even the opportunity to "nampt" money!
And you again become a "welcome" guest, where two more days ago you were sent on xxx!
You are loyal to your eyes, you are interested in well-being, although everyone is shitting on you and your grooming well-being.
But addicts need at least the illusion of compassion, humanity and all that they themselves lost, for the buzz.
Summer, I am 24 years old.
I'm glad. Gone appetite.
All eaten food flies out of you with the moment and everywhere.
For a low need you go to the color of a good chifer.
Sleepy.
Hospital. The diagnosis of hepatitis "C" ...
Hope, which is not chronized, because chronic hepatitis is incurable ....
27 days of the hospital.
Speed \u200b\u200bstraight there. All sophisticated. There heroin was as much as I did not see at the "will."
Two months after the hospital.
Diagnosis of chronic hepatitis "C".
They tell him you can live if you follow the diet ....
I continue to bother.
Night. Phone ring.
Dimon died .... how?! After all, he did not even quoplet, just sniffed ...
Trip to Sklif ... doctor ....
Dima really did not beat heroin, just sniffed, but he began his bronchitis, and heroin, like all opiates, paralyzes respiratory (whether the centers, or the way).
He sniffed and after some time fell asleep.
"Friends" tried to wake up, but he snapped and did not wake up.
Put it to sleep ....
"Caught" when he did not wake up ... - in a dream, breathing stopped and irreversible processes in the brain began.
Funeral ... Rain, Rasky Clay. Many girls and guys .... blackened from tears mom. Brother, his broccoli is a large trembling.
Vodka in a circle. Dimon lies ... as if smiling.
The fake quartet of the musicians plays something that is supervised ....
More than half of the youth "smeared"
Creek Mother ...
"Freaks, bastards, cattle ... That you killed him ... He was not like that ... that you were given to him Drugs ..."
Musicians play louder ...
Arrived from the cemetery ....
Seryoga (Brother Dimona) went into his room, returned two minutes with a bag.
There were 5 grams of heroin (he was already tightly quole).
Passed into the toilet and poured everything in the toilet .... said that it would no longer be caught up with this nasty ...
Two days later, we went to search for a dose.
Now he is still alive .... sits on the system. He has heptatitis "C" and HIV.
Move:
Drank at the bottom of birth.
Not enough "sharpness" of sensations. Called "youngsters" from our area.
As it turned out, the guys have just taken a lot of buzz. Ten minutes later I had on them on one of the Blat Hut ...
From drunk eyes it seemed that they want to deceive, and was not raised into my "bayan" 5 "points" (as a rule "point" is one division on an insulin syringe, the syringe itself is "bayan").
Using what I am older and "authoritative," chose a full "button accordion" and immediately "cracked" ...
Kaif plus vodka is a terrible mixture ...
Eye began to run out. I asked to help ... I "helped": Under the hands were taken to the neighboring room, put on some topchair.
Next, I remember only the bathroom ... Cold water, blows on the cheeks ... Vomiting ... The cry of the only remaining, of the present friend. He shouted with a mat, I will not quote ...
It turned out that when they put in the room, they forgot everything about me. Quite by chance, the owner of the apartment went for some thing and saw me.
According to the description, I was blue ... lips, nails, blackened eyelids, under the eyes of the circles ... She leaned over to listen .... I did not breathe. The hostess ran into the room to "youngsters", told ...
They offered to bring me out and quit away from the entrance, so that, if that, "garbage" hut did not hit ...
But then my friend called - he was looking for me ...
So it happened my salvation. A friend knew how to make artificial respiration and just daded me.
Then I also pumped out him a couple of times when he caught a passion ...
Many of them caught ... in the entrances, in the toilets, often in public. They came to themselves, lying there on the floor ...
We were not freezers or thickens. Many were at first were very successful businessmen. There were families. There was work, study, sport ...
It all disappeared like dust, and very quickly.
Broke:
Summer, I hope, how much I ... because I feel bad ... not just bad, but ... .z.
"Kumara" and "breaking".
This is, if you compare, heaven and earth. That is, the feelings are the same as for the kumar, but once in ten concentrate.
No white light. You do not know how to lie so that it is convenient. Any position of the body four hundred eight seconds becomes heavy, inconvenient, and you rush like a yula.
Then the sticky, vile cold sweat appears. You can not wash, as you can take a vertical position and get to the bathroom, it is not possible.
Later to sweat, snot, saliva, tears and universal discomfort is added pain ...
First, not a strong, pulling pain in the joints.
Then the pain is growing ... you can forget about painkillers - they do not act ... not even any anesthesia will work ... will save only the dose!
For which at this moment I am ready to sell your own mother, wife and children (I am not lying and do not embellish, ask those who worked it).
You are walking along the bed or the floor ... And it does not pass a day or two - it just flows waves, and the whole process of breaking through the three day flows into Kumar, and then only four five days later, it ends completely.
Speake, at best, two hours and then on the second third day ...
I saw my mom's eyes when she saw me so ...
I can not describe them ... - She ate immediately for a decade ...
Then the ambulance ... injections, droppers ... in general, the standard life of the drug addict ...
Oaths, who are a penny, but you yourself feel sacred in them and in five minutes you break. Care out of the house ... and a lie, which all your life is simply impregnated.
You do not trust anyone. We become a dodgy false cattle without a drop of self-esteem ...
Your company is the same as you ...
Girls are impregnable beauties who once "powdered" spout, now five hundred ruble whores (at best) ... or just ... per dose
Boys, almost all, past prison or zone, lost faith in themselves, but who continue to live in illusions ...
Illusions that you can escape from there yourself ...
Yes, someone succeeds. I read about it and heard a lot of fairy tales, Baek, like someone just threw it, and everything, but for this you need to at least get off the system ...
Lose all feelings ...
Love, sense of duty, all social responsibilities and so on.
That is, you remember that I have to love mom, my wife, children, and you can not ... There is no response in the soul ... empty there.
Sex.
At the beginning, everything is very beautiful: you can deal with hours.
After a couple of months of use, no matter how much the need disappears, but inertia still happens ...
Then the desire disappears, and after him the opportunity.
Women stopped menstrual cycle.
In men, serious problems with erection begins, but it is already a little worried ....
The system is when the drug is used by the clock, that is, for example, every five hours ... otherwise the breaking occurs.
Dirty solution - when heroin is not enough, and the baryga interferes to sell a dose and get their own.
They are often mixed for a variety of powders ...
... And, God forbid that they were at least safe, because it may be cement (interfere with weight, but rarely); DIMEDROL - enhances the buzz and times in two breaking; Sugar - Increases volume, God forbid, you have diabetes - this is instant death.
There is a mass of impurities to increase the volume.
When introducing such "Bodhai", you can "shine".
What does it look like:
First, dry mouth appears.
Then, the temperature rises, maybe up to forty.
You begin to bold, vomiting appears, the heart is thrust in the exhaust mode, it is possible to infect blood, then it is clear ...
At the beginning of use we were 27 people - guys and girls who constantly communicated, met.
The plan tried everything, of which heroin tried 23 people.
Restricted to one-time consumption or immediately threw 2 people.
During the use of 9 of my friends and comrades aged 18 to 34 years old.
In prison was 95% of all familiar from that circle of communication.
Pick up with hepatitis 90%.
HIV 50%.
Tried to quit and more than once 100%.
Tied 0% (I take into account the valuation period) at least a year.
This gloomy statistics also take into account the "comrades" acquired.
Nothing is invented, something is not even described, as it is difficult to perceive "sober".
There are still a lot of "charms" of the life of the drug addict, but I ask you very much, think about whether you need to check everything on yourself?
Or believe the word that you are not unique in this case and you do not have immunity, as it does not have several million drug addicts.
And just believe me, no one starts to straighten himself along Vienna Heroin (any common person will not be able to prick himself immediately and on sober) ...
It all starts with a simple "smoke", .. Fashionable "sniff cock", .. or when drinking a beer is already not enough, but I want some kind of "harmless" prank.
If you read all this remained sure that such a definitely will not happen to you and you will simply smoke a tablet and everything (just need to talk about Bairon, please), then God is a judge.
I will only glad if my and not only my "experience" will be erroneous.
Now:
I sober seven months.
I am glad to every day, every morning ... Only a few of them remained these days ...
Hepatitis, he, though gentle, but the killer.
And rarely who lives with him longer than 15-18 years old.
I have almost ten years old. And with each time the attacks (spring - autumn) are becoming long and tougher, and the price of therapy is growing and all the time in US ...
Just listen to the foregoing and accept the decision for my life ... just do not need half-term, like once a week or once a month.
Yes - eat, smoke, sniff, prick ...
No - to raise children, care, help parents, love loved ones.
Good day, my dear friends and readers! This article is not quite usual for me. "Confession of a drug addict. I hate myself". It was written in the framework of the Marathon "2100 words a week" organized by Svetlana Lokashch. This is no longer the first event organized by Svetlana in which I accept.
For myself, I decided that I would upload my reports on the work done on Zen Channel. I can always look comfortable and the organizer of the marathon. I published the first stories on the channel "On Life, Money and Love", then at Zebra.
At first I was blocked by the channel "On the life of money and love", allegedly for the copy-paste. I created another - Zebra. Good, it's free. I was blocked and the second. Now the wording was different:
The channel is limited in shows, as violates the requirements for publications, namely, contains materials that can scare or shock readers containing a description and / or image: victims of disasters and violent actions, corpses, diseases and deformities, intimate parts of the body and the labor process, injuries, diseases, insects and animals, whose species causes disgust.
About Zen and my relationship with him, I will write a little later. Now a little more about this note.
On the channel, the story was called "Why I hate this life? Because I hate myself! " For the blog, I changed the name to the "Confession of the Addict." I do not know, maybe by the standards of the security service Yandex.Dzen, the article scarets or shocks someone, but I thought about a friend.
For young too many temptations in life. They are pushing friends, take on "weakly". And rarely someone thinks that one wrong step can lose weight. Now that you know the motives that prompted me to write this story, read it.
I am twenty seven years old. My life is a nightmare. Nobody needs me. Even mom wishes me death. Wishes and afraid that she will happen. It can be understood. See how the son does not live, but suffer, hard.
My father killed a drug addict. He just needed money on a dose. Perhaps he did not want to kill. But, taking off Pope Bartette, pushed so that the father fell and hit the temple about the border.
Mom is afraid that I will become a killer too. And I am a killer. I kill myself.
I hate this life. I hate myself. I hate heroin and can not without him. I am a heroine addict. Heroin replaced me all and everyone. Heroin took everything and everyone.
Did I think when I pulled my hand for the first time that it would be so? Of course not. A friend suggested: "Try! It is not considered once. " And I agreed. It was a turning point in my life. It was at that instant that the life was divided into "to" and "after".
"To" everything was fine. Loving family, study at the institute, girl, friends ... "After" - a constant race in search of a dose, mother's tears, loss of friends and girls, breaking ...
My boyfriend became my Barygoy. But not for long. His stressful knife was a knife, which he did not give a dose.
How many Baryg was then? Almost all of them will be made, without preparing the temptation. Each addict has its own list of those who left before. And in this list, sooner or later, he will also take his place, will become one of the many losers in the game with drugs.
That only did not make parents, trying to pull me out. They spoke, explained, treated, giving great money. Many are made in this matter, promising to get rid of the problem forever.
Do not believe! They make their business. All that they can - pour to remove break. Nobody can change brains.
Parents closed at home, clinging handcuffs to the battery. I understood that they want to me good, but my body, my mind demanded a dose. And I ran in search of adventures.
The institute remained in the past. Two years I still tried to learn. But then "took me" at the point. I was under investigation. Baryga tried to submit me to the seller. The investigation figured out, but I received my "convention" for storing and consuming for personal purposes.
I was afraid to get to the zone. Keeping stopped. I thought that I was tied. I lasted three months. But then I completely stopped sleeping. Closing his eyes, constantly saw the syringe. And I broke.
There was a passion. Who is the good man who caused ambulance, I do not know. But then I was grateful to him. I really wanted to live! I was still hoping that I could handle.
Half a year, I have not touched drugs for half a year. This is a good time. The body cleared. And the mind is not. On that day, when there was no father, I broke again. I do not remember the funeral. I was under fool.
On fathers nine days, there was again an overdose. Saved mom. She, feeling anywhere, went into the room. I did not breathe. She beat me with his legs, forcing it to breathe. Forced. And now lives in constant fear, what will happen again.
I myself wanted to be treated after that. I was sorry for my mother. Mute reproach in her eyes is grooming my soul. Is there a soul addict? I dont know. It seems to me that instead of a black hole.
He himself found a group "Life without drugs". This is something like "anonymous alcoholics." Everyone tells about themselves, their problems, about what he wants. The installation was one - to live clean day.
The people in the group were different. People constantly changed. Someone came in the hope of changing their lives, someone went forever - in the world of others. Those who still managed to escape the white monster's paws. Their example gave hope.
The group met Varai. There was mutual sympathy. We began to live together. Did not plan anything. Just rejoiced to every lived day without white infection, and my mother was happy for us. And thanked God.
I worked as a loader in the store. Varya did nails. She is a cool master. Old customers returned to her, several people were recorded a day. There were free money. Life has been established. Even began to build plans for the future.
But then something went wrong. Once, taught for dinner, found cooks in a shut down. The syringe was lying around. I was stiffed immediately. I ran after a dose. Monthmarm for me, Vari, Moms.
And then everything ended. My sweets hid with your sweets from your friend. " And this time I did not have time to hide. While talked with my mother, cooking grew. It was the last injection in her life.
The investigator later said that heroin was with impurities of some kind of nastiness. It turns out that Varya saved my life. Mom says the death of Varia on my conscience.
And I myself know it myself. I looked again in the death of death. She is shown to me, but does not take it yet. She plays with me. Maybe make a "golden injection" and that's it?
What about mom? She will be bad without me. But she is bad and with me.
I'm in a dead end. For a long deadline. And the path to this dead end is raised by corpses.
I understand that it is not life to blame - I am guilty. But I hate this life, because I do not know how to live. And hate yourself ...
Discussion of the story "Confession of the Addict"
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Good day, my dear friends and readers! We want it or not, Synoronian practices work. And the synonene stories from life confirm this. For our...
The problem of drug addiction in Kazakhstan acquires terrifying scales. It is difficult to get out of this closed circle, but maybe. Former drug addicts told the correspondent of their past - as they passed all the circles of narcotic hell.
In the village of Razolnaya Akmola region, for 11 years, there is a center of social and psychological rehabilitation of drug addicts. Over the years of its operation, 681 patients received here. Now the center contains 20 people - 4 girls and 16 guys.
Here, former drug addicts work, communicate, talk with psychologists. In the center there is a garden, animals, an extension. Patients live here one year.
"You can come up with that the company was, and I took a taste of a drug. So it was, but this does not justify me. I myself took heroin, says Victor P. from Karaganda, the patient of the center. - Take heroin I started the third year Karga. For months, four took, then everything was revealed. We sat with the family at the table and dinner. I reached out for bread. Sleeve slip, and sister saw tracks from the needle. Grabbing me for the wrist, began to ask what it was. I just came out. But parents began to suspect - I always have no money, I am constantly spending all.
Once the relatives understood everything. It was a terrible grief for parents. They gathered advice, and I myself suggested: I take Academ, I'm leaving for the army. For two years I served in Cappchage, and then three more years the contract service. Five years I was absolutely "clean." But still underestimated the power of heroin. Back in the train, when I returned home, memories began to come to me. Thoughts, they are like crows above their heads. I could not drive them. I began to get back with the memories of the kayfa, savor them. When stood on the platform, it was already ready to indulge.
I come home in shape, with flowers, my mother opens the door, father hugs, and I think: "I need to" pit "and rather to proclaim!" Went and accepted heroin. I fell into hell. A vicious circle: drugs and narcology. Doctors will remove break, two or three months I "clean", and then ugly again and went-go. "
Causes of Victor's dependencies are looking for in the past.
"Since childhood, I was not deprived by the love of my parents. Do not think that drug addicts from childhood are asocial. I have a complete family, there is a sister, we loved and tried to give everything, brought up well. I grew up in the 90s, so parents struggled with all their might so that we were not starving. We also have children, there was a lot of free time. We were going to cellars. And from somewhere in my mind, the idea was established: "In life, you need to try everything." Now I know how I was wrong.
Alcohol, cigarettes and burst have become a catalyst for my narcotic dependence. In the club, the doorway, the basement, a friend's apartment can offer ecstasy, wheels and some other psychoactive drugs. Try - it will live in you. I tried the drug and what is called, got. At the initial stage, I did not understand this seriousness. And if then I knew what I was interfered with, I say, I put my hand on the heart - I would not even stand next to the drug. After all, my parents told me how now your moms tell you: "Vitya, it is bad, you can not take drugs." And I answered: "I know everything." But I knew nothing!
Now Victor feels good, he restored relationships with his parents, his beloved girl is waiting for him.
"Now all my lather against drugs. Enough, swollen, "he says.
But Victor still got "cheap". Some of the hell in the literal sense.
The story of Artem S. plunges in shock. A young blue-eyed guy passed a terrible school of life, and still survived. He was already in two rehabilitation centers - in the Kostanay region and in Russia.
"I am twenty seven years old. I am a former drug addict with nine-year-old experience of heroin. But it all started much earlier. With drugs, I met for 12 years. First, he began smoking an anasha. It seemed that it was a pellery. Then one friend suggested heroin. For the first time I did not like. And after there was an interest, took one or twice a month. Then he did not notice when "climbed at the dose." For 9 years I had remission for six months-year. And again fell. Due to drugs, I lost everything. I have no respect for relatives, your loved one, friends, goals in life, beloved work. "
In the hands of the guy - transverse scars. Artem told their story.
"I had several suicide attempts. So I tried to manipulate. Parents did not give me money for drugs, and I said that I would cut my hands, if I don't get them. They refused. And then I revealed myself a vein. "
Looking back, Artem sees only graves.
"For the time I am here, four people have died, with whom we broke together. Another one is in a state of "vegetable" after an overdose. I myself survived 6 overdose and 6 clinical deaths. The latter was literally a few weeks before arrival.
I had a remission thanks to the sport. He helps me to keep drugs. Special assistance in my life is religion. The first two weeks of stay in the center almost ended the breakdown. When I started asking God for help, it became easier for me, and I stopped thinking about drugs. Every Sunday we go to church. "
Recently, Artem had a birthday, his mother visited him. Relationship with parents guy restores.
"I am so guilty of her. Mom always warned me from drugs. I was such a fool, lost so many years of life, the best of youth. Now it will be difficult for me to get an education. "
The center is working with co-dependent - parents. Are they capable of pulling out their child from narcotic hell?
"No one will help drug addict except him," say the local patients themselves. - Posady hundred psychologists - they will not be able to do anything. Mom's tears, prayers of his wife, crying children will not help. Only himself. Relatives and relatives can be motivated, but you yourself do not pull out from the pit of the drug addiction. Drug addicts are lonely people, they are traveling society. They need support. "
Now in remission is about 107 people who were previously treated in the center. Many of them have created families and grow children. Sometimes they come here for the holidays, talk to psychologists. And each of them hopes that it will never come here as a patient.
Having got rid of the heavy form of addiction, the former drug addict believes that the second time was born
What is hell, Oksana recognized not from books. She visited there during life, all the intended tests for sinners felt the body and soul. Once upon a time, the dose of opium was ready to give life. Now, when I escaped from a terrible captivity, it makes everything to pull out others from the dangerous trap.
Oksana - 42 years. The taste of this being, without impurities of drugs and alcohol, felt 16 years ago. Absolutely sober lifestyle, without the "breakdowns", is already 12 years old and confident: nothing will make her return to the past.
The first time the girl learned the girl at the age of 15. The best student, school activist, secretary of the Komsomol Committee ... Oksana Father often looked in a glass, Mom was a respectable strict woman who controlled every step of children. Outwardly, the daughter embodied her ideal. Greeting good estimates, in the time set by my mother, "like a bayonet" was at home ... She was propheted to the highest party school, but the period of mature began just before the collapse of the Soviet Union, the youth lost the inner rod. Oksana remembers how the emptiness constantly felt, believed that everything was lying around. The girl was looking for himself ...
In those days, they just started talking about drugs. Forbidden fruit attracts, so I wanted to try something new, get other sensations. Nuhaled glue, saw alcohol ... Snowframe pills saw beer. Could sleep a few days. Early married, gave birth to two daughters. But for several years the marriage destroyed the nineties' lack of money. The husband went to the oxanic girlfriend, which traded at the bazaar with sweet tubes: in the time she was a secured woman. The young wife was left alone with young children on her hands. It happened, he lost consciousness from hunger. I remembers how a nurse came and asked: "Why not bring children to vaccination?". Oksana was ashamed to admit that there is no soap so that before visiting the clinic to wash them out.
In those heavily times, he met a long-fashioned acquaintance with which he once visited the dance studio. Girlfriend began to visit Oksana from time to time. First - Water Drink, then - Poppy straws to cook. Often Oksana pulled the girl with her hand when it had to be soaked. Soon suggested a lonely mother's business: drug addicts will pay her for what allows you to boil and apply a "magic potion" in your kitchen. Then she began to slow down the magican straw. The woman had money, no longer needed. Since the apartment has always been "potion", from time to time they used them. Such an injection shot a hangover. Oksana seemed to happen if he tried several times - a drug addict would not become, because she was a strong person. I have ever seen how familiar drug addicts come to what state. The body rotes alive, you have to cut off the limbs. "What kind of buzz is this, for which a person is ready to get rid of the legs?" - thought Oksana. And when he tried himself, she understood. Says this condition and tide of vitality, which cannot be compared with anything. I went to the bazaar, how to work: Things stole, then I was looking for buyers for them, the money revented was striving for them as soon as possible "by appointment" ... The woman quickly sank to the very bottom, but it did not feel it for a long time. No months did not wash, did not come out of the house. The house was the junk, in which her children grew. I wanted to buy summer shoes, but it turned out that in the yard - winter ... I was terrified, finally seeing myself in the mirror: the shoulder cheeks, dirty hair, yellow leather. Instead of teeth - several rotten stumps.
The worst condition, which had to experience in life, is a breaking, which drug addicts is called "Kumar". According to Oksana, it can be compared with a severe influenza form. Rubber appears, tearing, diarrhea, insomnia ... Oksana had the impression that the teeth were hurting, skin and even her hair, there was no strength to get out of bed. The woman knew that the next dose would deprive her of all these suffering, and the realization that no saving opium was hysterical.
After six years of life outside the reality, Oksana "lowered to Earth" the doorbell. On the threshold stood police representatives. Then I realized that it was in prison - the worst perspective. Called the sister who lived in another city, and begged to shelter.
In a new place, Oksana had to "tie" with drugs. He knew that drug addicts give each other militia, so I did not risen to acquire new friends on the needle. Fear did not leave it, so replaced opium vodka. I found an alcoholic humor and drove to "shutdown" with him. The sister took her from various drones. The woman remembers that it was often wanted next to people unfamiliar to her and could not remember who they are. It happened, fell asleep in the kiosk, which robbed. I wanted to "tie", but could not but drink. Again I had to worry breaking, during which it was shaking, as in a fever. Most wanted to recover, but there was no money for treatment. The acquaintance advised her to visit the community of anonymous alcoholics. "I am ready to go at least to the green in blue speck. The main thing is that someone helped change my life, "the exhausted woman was delighted. When came to the community - was amazed. So many people who were in the same difficult circumstances, and all are ready to stretch the hand of help! He led her husband, who also stopped drinking too. Subsequently joined the group of anonymous drug addicts.
Now Oksana is proud of himself - she was able to overcome both drug addiction and a green snake. During the first year, she had three alcoholic and one narcotic breakdowns. For the last six years it is already "not pulling."
The woman completely changed her life. They and her husband are a full-fledged family: they amused grandchildren together. Oksana recently graduated from the Faculty of Psychology, it works as a practicing psychologist. "Now I am a full member of society," says a woman. - part-time working as mom for those who ended up in the same hell, where I was! ". Oksana reads lectures to the parents of drug addicts. Directs dependent in rehabilitation centers, provides them with social support and helps to recover in society. It claims that no "doping" is not needed now, because he learned to live and have fun on a sober head.
Larisa Podropotskaya
Every year, about 30 thousand people die from drug use of drugs, mostly young
"We have horror. The cemetery is taken every day. The second wave has seen since 2005, and mostly children, teenagers. How can it be? After all, they saw how the whole generation went to the ground in their eyes. As if the war went. They played in the sandbox, and next we broke, pierced, "says Anton. 10 years ago, effort the will from the syringe tears, ceased to be a bandit, came to God and took up the salvation of the missing souls. He lives in a small mining Siberian city. The name, surname and the city requested not to call: kill.
"There were gangs, raspberry jackets, it was fashionable. We rot. Now burn. Previously, the consumer went to drugs, now the drug came to the consumer. The system is debugged, "says Anton, who saved and saving others from the death of others.
"A group of risk is children. Parents drink, children - ok, no prospects, no one needs these people. But their grandfathers, fathers were human heroes deserved people. And now they have become not needed. The 90s have somehow survived, many stood on their feet. But since 2001, a new wave went, other drugs that have no chance to survive. Year or two - and the corpse, - continues Anton. "There is no state plan, as if the main thing is that quietly sat and died to do without rebellion."
As the righteous told, save himself - and thousands will be saved around. Anton Fate led to Protestants. Only in his small town they have already created 10 centers for the rehabilitation of drug addicts. Their experience is simple and comes down to very simple techniques: work is saved, faith and comrade shoulder. Money and expensive clinics, replacement funds and conversations with psychologists do not save, but simply postpone the punishment.
According to Anton, they have two channels in the city. One holds a leaving from Tajikistan, the other is Roma. Both in each area for several tens of points, their cars, their own "runners" -ders, their own dose orders for SMS. Around the clock, without weekends and breaks for lunch.
"Missed the message - after half an hour you delivered goods. If the dose is carried by taxi - 300 re, if you have 150 rendering with your legs. On the day you need two doses for beginners, three - for those who have already hooked. " - Anton and his comrades know by the names of everyone who is lucky, trades, distributes and sells.
"A political decision will be made - everything will be liquidated in one day. And now there is neither policies for drug addicts, nor effective centers, nor treatment methods. Here, let's say, they will cover everyone, and drug addicts will come to the streets. What do they do with these crowds? And so the authorities think that at least somehow control the situation, some balance create, "argues Anton.
The capital is the rich
Bed in numbers *
Each day in the country from the use of heroin is dying 82 people, and annually 30 thousand people.
The average age of drug addicts, according to official statistics, is 29.8 years old, 18-20-year-old age groups account for 7%. Youth takes drugs from 15-17 years old, and in the first year 70%, doses of up to three injections per day are brought.
64% of drug addicts tried to get rid of dependence on their own. Only 5% of dependent women and 7% of men were not treated and did not want it.
25% of the treated citizens arrive for treatment re-in the same year. 95-97% of drug addicts in the same year again begin to take drugs.
The surveys of the All-Russian Center for Studying Public Opinion (WTCIOM) for drug use show that 35% of drug addicts after free treatment hold one week, 17% - month and only 4% - one or two years. The third of those receiving assistance assesses it as unsatisfactory, cruel and degrading.
In the February hearings on this issue in the State Duma, the Director of the FSGN Viktor Ivanov said that 12 tons of pure heroin comes to Russia from Afghanistan. His agency believes that it is 3 billion one-time doses of 0.004 grams, but if one is considered 0.1 grams (as under the law), then one-time doses turns out to be 120 million. According to FSKN, drug addicts from the sale of such a number of drugs receives about $ 16 billion.
Victor Ivanov reported that 10 kg of heroin was withdrawn every day, that is, about a third of heroin traffic.
In the report of the United Nations Committee on Drugs and Dogs (UNODC) for 2007, the incomes of the entire anestrated farming of Afghanistan were estimated at $ 3 billion, and the volume of deliveries - 6.1 thousand tons in 2006 and 8.2 thousand tons in 2007.
* According to the UN, the Federal Drug Control Service of the Russian Federation, Ministry of Health and Social Development, WTCOM
"I give prices in Moscow and Peter," Sasha dictates, a young guy who categorically wanted to go in the footsteps of her older brother, that is, I didn't want to try. He hates drugs and wants to destroy them to the root. Also asks the name to change: "Gram Hashisha in Moscow - 600 rubles, in St. Petersburg - 250. Ecstasy tablet - 600 rubles and 350. Amphetamine powder - 1200 and 600. 1 gram of cocaine - $ 120 and about $ 90, this is enough for one person for the night. Drop LSD - 700-800 and 450-500. Heroin youth in the capitals does not respect, afraid of him and considers expensive and unclean drugs. More mushrooms - they are collecting them all who hunting, at the end of August and September. "
He believes that Moscow, most of the poison arrives from St. Petersburg. The most expensive are brought from Europe. Asian streams are smaller here. Two of his acquaintances are sitting for distribution. "And thank God!" - The choir exhale his comrades, starving the knowledge of the Moscow attractive bottom.
"Few young people in Moscow use every day. So, on weekends, it is fashionable for recreation. It is not fashionable to condemn, that's such an installation, "say yesterday's schoolchildren.
On such "vacationers", our interlocutors argue, earns the police. "If you find, then you either carry the amount from 5 thousand to 55 thousand rubles, or sit down. Can and throw it up. What kind of parent will not buy? He does not know that his son grows hemp in the closet or cooks something for sale "- that's what these children know.
The smartest of them guessed that the Large Industry was thrown on them. "In that club play one music - it is suitable for amphetamines, in this one, for ecstasy, in the third - for rich cocainers. Everything is done to manage young people. Tashed - and normally. They may not be mixed in alcohol and treat free drinking. If someone dies on the pass, the club is covered, but soon it opens in another place. The capital is afraid of heroin, they have enough tablets. It is fashionable; Tablets are collecting, boasts. But after all, the fashion is created under the peculiarity, everything is thought out for the sake of manipulating people, the guys do not want to understand this, "the guy does not use anything.
Offered him from childhood - to smoke, snatch. Friends, prosperous children from good families, prepared pilaf with "foolish". He was lucky that he was not then hungry: they were not warned about the contents of Plov.
The elder brother of one of the guys remembers: "15 years ago they went with friends, flew the boy, all shakes. Ukoli, says, I do not fall into the vein. I went to the entrance, I immediately got to Vienna. And here is the militia. The drug addict disappeared, the syringe is lying down with my prints. Pavraal them that the guy diabetes, crisis, so witnesses. Whether I am alone, they would not talk to me with me, would increase the statistics of opening, or the money would have been dragging. "
How many drug addicts do we have?
According to the Ministry of Health and Social Development of the Russian Federation, for the period from 1996 to the present, the level of non-medical drug consumption increased by 20 times, and the number of persons under dispensary observation is 538 thousand people.
Every year in Russia, drug use is growing at 20-30%.
The share of Russian heroin addicts is five to eight times the corresponding indicator in the European Union.
"In our country there is no reliable statistics, because no one consider drug addicts in Russia," says Academician Ramne Tatyana Dmitrieva, director of the State Scientific Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry. V.P. Serbian. - Figure 538 thousand. Man is underestimated. We believe that it must be multiplied by at least five, and only then approximate some of the reliable digit. "
The most pessimistic estimates speak of 6 million Russian addicts - these are the assumptions of a number of public organizations. Russia has already registered cases of drug consumption with decade children: 17,370 children and 122,175 addiction adolescents were registered.
According to different estimates, the drug addict sucks on the needle every year on average 15-17 more people.
Drug addicts ruined not only an overdose. About 80% of HIV infected with a common needle.
Network
Who is the lowest link of death dealers? Siloviki say that these people do not differ externally from others.
Most of the anti-drug activists in Siberia and in the West of the country are accused of distributing the drugs of Tajiks and Gypsies. Recently, the blacks were judged, who were carrying the potion from Holland.
Thanks to the media, society is confident that drugs to Russia are carrying by airplanes, trains, fourshes with fruits and goods, they are transported by shunks on themselves, "swallows" in their stomachs and other craftsmen. It is their security forces, it is these plots who sees the public on TV.
As a rule, among the distributors of drug addicts, there are no drugs for them - business.
But there is another gigantic network of distributors, which cannot be planted: they are ordinary pharmacies. And there is a huge stream of potion, which no one is withdrawn and does not count: it is prepared from ordinary medicines.
"Wheel Syrup"
Pharmacological chaos began in the capital a few years ago, when the state officer actually earned in Moscow and it became a little more difficult to get heroin.
Today, part of the pharmacies, mostly remote from the center, are not particularly hiding, they are released without a recipe for analgesics-opiates, such as Buturofanol Tartrate (opioid analgesic), Bedaliir (it contains opiates and is extremely dangerous in intravenous administration, but it costs only 500 rubles), coaxil (TIANEPTIN) - a powerful antidepressant, whose abuse provokes chemical addiction, injured (zopiclon) and other drugs.
Control agencies periodically check pharmacies. It happens, there are significant reserves of these drugs and from the force of 20 recipes in two or three years. But the serious responsibility of pharmacies and the owners of pharmacies does not threaten: as a last resort, they are deprived of licenses. Some metropolitan pharmaceutical kiosks, according to the Federal Service for Drug Control of Drug Trafficking (FSKN), are made on one buthorphanol to $ 300 thousand per month. With such revolutions, apparently, the issue with a license can be solved.
According to pharmacy sales, the aforementioned drugs are one of the most bought in Russia. Some of them are constantly present in the top ten most popular drugs.
"Proven pharmacy institutions actually turned into the illegal implementation of prescription drugs that are very popular among people with drug addiction," the head of Roszdravnadzor Nikolay Yurgel said last winter.
Drug addicts of different ages call prescription drugs or potion based on "crocodiles" or "wheel syrup". The likely consequence of their use during literally several months is gangrena, as a result - amputation of limbs and death during the year of use. "Wheel syrup" faster leads to a fatal outcome compared to the "old" drugs.
As drug addicts tell, pills are carrying "chemists" - specialists in the preparation of drugs from surrogate. Thus, a couple of hours, for example, to evaporate the solution and get syrup. In the neighborhoods of such "chemists", the whole district is usually known - a crowd of drug addicts in the afternoon and at night, to cover their business easily. But for some reason no one does it.
In most pharmacies, employees do not risk violate the rules for vacation of drugs included in the "narcotic" lists and lists of psychostimulants, as it entails criminal liability. But barbiturates, sedative and painkillers are easily diverted without recipes.
Academician Ramne Tatyana Dmitriev noted that the use of legal medical staff, for example, syrups and cough pills, is becoming more and more popular, and the age of use such drugs decreased to 12-13 years.
Is it possible to cure a drug addict
In Russia, according to the Ministry of Health and Social Development, 191 public drug transparency services, about 2 thousand offices for the prevention and treatment of drug addiction, 80 rehabilitation offices. However, they work inefficiently. Doctors say and their patients.
There are private rehabilitation centers. On the website of the Marshak Clinic in Moscow, tariffs for five-day treatment begins from 100 thousand rubles. To be treated, you have to pay the cost of the apartment, although recovery in them is not guaranteed.
Psychologists complain that old narcologists are in fact still relate to drug addiction as "nonsense", from which you can get rid of. "Do not be wrong - and that's all," they say, without recognizing that the patient's personal growth is needed, referring to groups of support for drug addicts as religious sects.
Among private narcologists, many of those who find a couple of patients and successfully "milk" them, simply regularly deriving from breaking. This is their business in drug addiction. Psychiatrists, until recently, applied with the medical goal of the electric shield - some clients lost a connection with reality. In expensive clinics, what is not available at prices from $ 2-3 thousand and above - both baths, massages, and yoga, and cleaning the spine, and blood purification, and special diets, wraps, sea baths.
There are more than 350 charitable centers in the country organized by mostly with the support of religious organizations. Most among them are organized by Protestants. There are also centers created by Orthodox activists.
For example, in the Charitable Medical and Rehabilitation Center "New Life" Sergei Matievyan (Leningrad Region) with a new sign, he comes here for a year. If relatives can help with money - good, can not - is also normal. Year is not smoking, not to drink, it is hard to work in the morning until the evening in the subsidiary farm. Thanks to the fruits of this work, the Center exists and, according to its statistics, more than half of the drug addicts are cured for a long time. Mathevosyan is the turn from the whole country.
There is an opinion that in the West is better treated and more successfully that methadone is used, replacing the drug. "Our name is to arrange centers in America. And here we are told how they treat well there. Yes, there anyone who conceived to arrange such a center, receives a shaft of charity assistance, state support, preference in everything. We, on the contrary, laugh at checks. But only we treat employment therapy, a scanty ration, ascetic life, and it works, "says Sergey Matyevosyan.
"The German addict is invited to the cafe, they treat coffee, give it a methadone. Then he comes again. He is being analyzed - if he does not shook heroin, he again gives methadone. And the rest of the time he does not need anyone, go die, "says Pastor Mikhail from the center in the Kemerovo region.
On the methadone question has long been a controversy. By and large, the technology is designed for hopeless patients, but the society will be removed from the spread of infections.
12 steps
"Many people do not understand that only a part of the problem in narcology is only part of the problem," says the psychotherapist's doctor of the Moscow Scientific and Practical Center of Narcology Tatyana Trifolovskaya, - and for treatment, there is still treatment of the soul, a change in society and a huge work in the family. "
Trifolovskaya considers the effective program "12 steps" to be effective only in the world. By participating in it, there are 5 million people dependent on drugs in the world.
At the metro station stations, among the crowds, they do not recognize people from mutual assistance groups for anonymous drug addicts, but they are. They are waiting there those who started the attack of thrust for drugs. Such groups are created everywhere (in the capital of their more than a dozen) by the participants of the "12 steps" program.
Anonymous drug addicts (Narcotics Anonymous) work according to the program that appeared by analogy with the one that in the 30s of the last century was created in the United States to help with alcoholism patients.
Its essence comes down to recognizing the fact: alone, a person is powerless to cope with the problem of drug addiction or alcoholism, and therefore he needs help to recover, and this means radically change his life. In the group, all its members are anonymous, including in contact with the media. Everyone has a curator - a volunteer of those who live a "clean" life for at least a year. "12 steps" according to the charter is not related to the church, although there are religious groups.
Anonymous drug addicts believe that the family often aggravates trouble: pays for the drug addict, controls drug use, but the more drug addicts is protected from the truth of his position, the less chances of becoming recovering (in this, by the way, church centers are fully solidar with these activists) .
Addicts come to "12 steps", as a rule, already losing their studies, work and confidence of loved ones, they are powerless to illness and, recognizing this, find support for people with the same problems that have already experienced their decision, as well as professional assistance to consultants and consultants. Psychologists, help of loved ones and other sources of help. All this is built into a well-structured long-structured system, sometimes perennial support.
They study the organization of security measures, for example, avoid communicating with the current drug addicts, acquire the skills of "clean" life, lost over the years of the use of "Duri", learn to learn and adequately express their feelings, prevent the development of disruptions.
The skills of appeal for help are practiced at the collections of anonymous drug addicts, visiting which is included in the basic three-month course.
There are classes of mixed groups of patients and relatives, joint sports competitions, holidays, discos, saunas and fishing.
The basic rehabilitation installation is that drug addiction is almost forever. Treatment is always only voluntary, based on informed consent of the patient.
Religious activists "12 steps" cause doubts because they consider this circle closed. The group does not lead a person anywhere, sooner or later this circle will be bored. For example, Orthodox and Protestants are not just trying to lead to recovery, but also introduce the former drug addicts with healthy people, involve them in a big deal that is not associated only with the affair to rescue drug addicts.
"If the soul, enslaved by evil, wants to free himself, she must fill itself with a new meaning. The meaning for the soul is to become part of a large and present case. Otherwise, everything is in vain, "says Olga M., who traveled a variety of centers first in search of cure, and then - to exchange experiences.
Roots
To fight phenomenon, you need to understand its nature. There are three concepts. The first one comes down to the fact that people from Central Asia, Afghans are guilty in the dominance of drugs. The second insists on some abstract corruption of officials. The third suggests that drugs are weapons of Western special services against Russia. All three would be suitable if drugs were raging only in Russia.
The vice-president of Afghanistan Karim Khalili last week was from the hands of the director of the FSKN Viktor Ivanov, a list of the highest officials of his country, involved in drug trafficking. This list was first announced by the American ABC News TV channel in June 2006, when the Pentagon secret documents on the Afghan allies were committed to the public.
But the UN is annually and openly talks about more complex connections.
Thus, the report of the United Nations Committee on Drugs and Crime for 2007 directly reports that NATO's troops are forbidden to touch the opium fields. In January 2008, the head of this committee Antonio Maria Costa led a vivid example. To convert 1 tons of raw opium in heroin, 2-6 tons of acetic acid anhydride are needed, which in Afghanistan does not produce. Only in 2005 10 thousand tons of anhydride were delivered, that is, a caravan of 500 20-ton trailers penetrate into the country. NATO did not notice these cars and did not ask why so much vinegar.
In the Ministry of Combating Affiliates of Afghanistan, the newspaper correspondent two years ago, they said that Afghans could not overcome the problem alone. After all, 2-3.2 million Afghans grown poppy, that is, about every tenth of 25 million people. They and their families will die if you burn poppy. Afghan officers showed the hidden shooting of plantations protected by foreign soldiers, scenes of loading for foreign aircraft.
Since 2006, unsuccessful negotiations have been conducted on the opening of the Representative Office of the Federal District RF in Kabul. No actual assistance in the fight against drugs Afghanistan has not yet received from one country.
According to the state officercontrol estimates, approximately 30% of the harvest comes from Afghanistan to Russia with the northern route through the transparent borders of Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan. In Kyrgyzstan, while there was an American base there, the plan of industrial scums of Poppy was seriously discussed.
Why, with such awareness of the special services of the world about the state of affairs, it is impossible to defeat the entire network? After all, special services are able to track down spies or secret organizations. Why learn about 400 chemical laboratories on the border of Tajikistan and Afghanistan, and there is no destroy them? Why can you easily buy all equipment for growing cannabis? Why do young people know where they trade in potion, and the security forces do not know?
It suggests the easiest answer: apparently, the special services are not interested in covering drugs, since it is an inexhaustible source of black bed. This question was investigated by many former CIA and Mi-6 workers on the example of the actions of Albanian and Kurdish drug trains, Colombian drug cartel and the Asian Opium "Golden Triangle".
None of the special services of the world has never admitted that she is powerless against drug traffic.
The most famous example of planting drugs - opium wars, which in 1840-1860 held Britain against China. Britain wanted to import and distribute the opium from Bengal forbade in China. The Chinese burned warehouses, arrested consumers - and began war. China lost, paid enormous contribution, gave Hong Kong, and the British received the right to trade with opium. China's population in 40 years has decreased from 416 million to 50 million people.
In the 60s of the 20th century, the FBI developed and implemented drug addiction into the series "Black Panther" when they were found dangerous to the United States. In the 70s, drugurgies were sent to Indian reservations, where a strong movement for liberation was developed. Until now, in Indian reservations, hard pressing acts in relation to any offenders, except for alcohol and drug traders.
Fantasy countries were able to defeat drugs.
The USSR coped with addicts until 1991, although marijuana and opium plantations were on its territory. It was possible to overcome the drugs Communist China - executions and stiff politics.
The Government of the Taliban easily coped with this misfortune, which is not like to remember in Afghanistan now. According to the UN report, the Taliban has sharply reduced Macs to 185 tons per year, and in 2000-2001 almost eliminated them.
Iran struggles with drug trades. The Islamic Revolution of 1979 in Iran made narcotic pilgrimages European hippies. In 1989, the death penalty was introduced in Iran for the distribution of drugs. Most of the three hundred annual executions in Iran, indignant human rights defenders, are the execution of drug dealers. Iran has strengthened the border with Afghanistan, and its border guards lead real battles and systematic shooting of heroin caravans.
For Western states, such measures are unacceptable. In Europe, drugs legalize and give doses in pharmacies. Do we still have time to choose a "special" path?
