What does it mean to raise a person. Good upbringing

This is the one who mastered the perfection. Thanks to good manners, it is possible to establish favorable relationships with society, which significantly increases the comfort of life for every person.

Distinctive features

This is a person who uses expression, intonation and tone in conversation, which have to benevolent communication. Also play gestures, gait, facial expressions. It should be moderately modest, but not clamped and secretive. Giving the Word, for him you need to be responsible, fulfill your promises, because you need not only to make a good impression, but also consolidate it, to maintain a long time.

The quality of the pupil person helps him to communicate with others tactfully. There are specific instructions and advice, thanks to which you can make a fairly clear idea of \u200b\u200bthe framework of etiquette, while in which you will enjoy a pleasant interlocutor and a welcome guest in any company.

Proper communication

First you should not speak too loudly and use rough expressions, because your goal is not to shout the opponent. If you have a dispute with someone, it is necessary to fully rely on the logicality and argument of your own position. A brought up person is a person who can self-appoints due to calm confidence in its own arguments, and not an emotional pressure on a competitor. Gestures must be calm and smooth, you should not do overly sharp movements, they usually leave no most pleasant impression.

In fact, the surrounding people want to tune in to the wave of peace and harmony, in the depths of the soul they will not forgive you if you want to break this condition. In addition, you should not interfere in living in the rest, you should think about yourself. Watch your wardrobe. It is not necessary to dressed in the latest fashion in the novelty of the most expensive brands, but a brought up man must, at least control the purity and tidy of its own clothing. There is nothing complicated to wear only clean things, stroke them before put on, clean shoes.

The importance of self-control

Life does not always flow according to the scenario, which we draw in your imagination. Sometimes she drives us into a dead end, it causes stress, makes leaving the comfort zone, but even then do not lose self-control, writing off everything in circumstances.

What person is called raised? Perhaps the one who comes in a dark corridor on the cat calls it exactly a cat. That is, good manners should not be a mask for you, with which you are trying to get into confidence in others. They should become the norm, habit, the only permissible way of communication.

Even if you didn't share something with someone, your opinions were separated from someone in the dialogue, you encountered a complete reluctance to take into account your arguments, do not lose control. In such situations, the best adviser is the voice of the mind, as well as learned earlier that will help not make the situation in an even greater dead end.

The rules of the educated person exclude the manifestation of ill-advantage to other people. We can say that you have a different point of view, but in no case go to the individual. It is enough to conclude that you are not on the way, and disperse, without going into further details.

Show respect and courtesy

Respect in society needs to be earned and, most importantly, not to lose in the future. What person is called raised? One who is always ready to listen carefully to anyone who turns to him for advice or in any case not to show explicit neglect. Sometimes it is difficult.

Everyone has situations when there is neither time nor the desire to communicate with some particular person. At such moments it is very important to deviate from the conversation tactfully so that the interlocutor does not have an unpleasant sediment on the soul.

To be able to follow their interests, while not offended by others, the great art worthy of understanding and mastering, because it greatly simplifies life and opens up many opportunities.

Do not humiliate and do not impose

You can consider the inverse situation when something is required to you, but do not want to communicate with you, for the lack of all the same free time or banal to this traction. A brought up man is the one who will not be imposed on and put their interests at the head of the corner. You may only offer our own society.

There is nothing acknowledged in ask to ask others about the service, but the true tactlessness will be extorted, reproach to indifference and so on. In essence, the accusation of other people is the lack of tact. In fact, such people blame others in the fact that there are a lot of sin.

If you try to achieve those desired by such methods, you can very much in the eyes of others, and the impression of it will be very difficult to return very difficult.

Improving social life personality

Thanks to the rules of etiquette, you can get an idea of \u200b\u200bhow it is worthwhile to behave in order not to have awkward situations and conflicts with other individuals. In general terms, they imply respect and benevolence during communication. At the same time, there should be no significant role to play the social situation or the position of the interlocutor. Everyone is equally worthy that they apply properly.

As part of humanism it is believed that every human creation is originally clean. Etiquette helps not to lose this inner light, maintain it in itself and take care of the well-being of others.

A person is a creature for which life in society is considered optimal. We are all closely connected. Inflicting an insult to someone, you push yourself. So a person will never come, whose education and manners will not allow so descending.

Supporting benevolent relations with other people, the personality provides its own peace. Respecting others, you put and high. Those who self-affirmation due to rudeness and humiliation, as a rule, have low self-esteem and do not consider themselves important.

Conversely, individuals showing respectful attitude to those who are near, feel pretty confident and comfortable in society. The choice is yours.

Often the pupil and the presence of good manners are mandatory requirements for the satellite of life, a new employee and even to friends. And the point is not at all that a person who does not know what "Menagenitsa" is, has no right to stay in a decent society. It seems to me that there is a certain minimum of pupils, which should have each.

Behavior at the table

I, as a hostess, is very nice when close to say "Thank you" for the cooked dish. And if they add "it was very tasty", my face breaks down in a smile, and the mood is sharply improved. For my part, I always wish a pleasant appetite, I try to serve a table beautifully.

And the daughter, and the husband is trying not to be distracted while eating. We do not have eating alone or on the go. Of course, there are cases when the husband is delayed at work, but most of the days we dine together.

Constancy habits

I am completely incomprehensible how people manage to behave differently at home and in society. So do not explain to the child why at home you can wipe the face with a sleeve, and in the cafe you need to use a napkin. The rules of etiquette must always be performed and everywhere. Somehow I read an interview with one TV presenter, as she said that even alone behaves as if he was under the sight of the camcorder.

Attitude towards others

An indicator of pupils for me is attitude to service personnel. And terribly annoys when customers are rude by waiters, parkers, sellers, hairdressers, etc. First, all professions are good. Secondly, who knows where each of us will be tomorrow or a year? It often happens that you do not have to choose, and when you need money, agree to any work.

Again, about constancy. How can you respect your wife, and the strangers are strangers? I believe that still women are weak, as said Oyilde, "decorative" floor, and each of us is worthy of a respectful relationship.

I like when my daughter calls me affectionate nicknames - Mommy, Mamuly, Favorite Mom, etc. Just in our family it is so accepted - on each other's names we practically do not call.

A separate topic is the attitude towards people of old age. This is also a pupil. In addition to respectful attitude towards parents, it is not so difficult to relate similarly to unfamiliar people of old age. Even give up the right of turn or help read the price tag on the product - help, to have it for each of us.

Right speech

Optionally, be able to use suitivated turns and "zavel" words. It is important to speak correctly, avoid major errors in speech. There are enough hours of free time to familiarize yourself with the most common mistakes, which can be found on the Internet.

Of course, the main thing is that the person is good, but the gross grammatical errors of the level of the first grader are able to reduce there is even the best impression.

conclusions

To be brought up - it means to have a basic set of good manners, which certainly include a benevolent attitude towards others. This can also be attributed to the ability to look good in accordance with the time and place, the ability to control your emotions and express them competently.

And what do you invest in the concept of "pupil"?

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Inna Vasilyeva
Consultation for parents "What does it mean to be pupil man?»

"What so be a brought up?» Pupil There is a learning of good habits. Plato - How do you answer this question? IN explanatory dictionary It is said that « brought up - it knows how to behave well ". - Who we think pupil? Can bewho received the Higher Education?

Life shows that it is impossible for each educated man consider pupil. Education itself does not predetermine pupilsAlthough it creates favorable conditions for this. Brought up He has enough clock, he knows how to behave in society, has good manners. Pupil man It is easy to recognize at first sight. The appearance says himself for himself: He is not lost in an unfamiliar society, knows how to sit at the table, beautiful and gently eat. But pupil - These are not only good manners. It is something deep and significant in man. That "something" is the inner culture and intelligence, the basis of which are the guilty and respect for another man.

Be educated - it means being Attentive to another, delicate, tactful, not petty.

Output: genuine pupil And culture cannot be combined with the Bar city.

Completely incompatible with the concept educated human cynicism - brazen, shameless behavior imbued with contempt for people. Cynicism is a deep manifestation noncompatacy, the absence of genuine inner culture, disrespect for people and society. "Cynicism is dangerous, first of all, because he builds anger in virtue" (Andre Morua, Fr. Writer). People with cynical behavior are capable not to create, but to destroy, not respect, but humiliate people around; And most importantly - they do not feel their own liability.

- What important quality is distinguished a brought up man from an unprecedented? Attitude towards people, attention to them, respect for their individuality. Everyone human in his own way and perceives the world He has its own features of memory, thinking, attention, he has a peculiar imagination, its own interests, needs, sympathy, attachment, mood features, large or smaller power of emotional experiences, strong or weak will, "easy" or "difficult" Character, he has his own life experience, his observations, his disappointment, sadness and joy, habits, finally, their fate. What is wealth - the inner world man! There are no people not interested in the world. Their fate - as stories planet: Everyone has everything, its own, and there is no planets similar to it. E. Evtushenko How it is important to understand and constantly remember that such a complex inner world I have not only me, but also each of the people around me. And if humanwho is next to me differs from me, then this is not sothat he is worse than me. He is just another, and you need to respect this other man With its individual characteristics, with its strong and weak parties. Need to proceed from the fact that the other human - Independent person, which itself determines its behavior. Therefore, dulling, rudeness, wretched, ordered tone, etc. are incompatible with the concept « brought up» . Brought up Not only knows how to understand itself, in his desires, opportunities, actions, but also knows how to understand the people around people, take into account and respect their interests, wishes, tastes, habits, moods, sincerely respond to their feelings and experiences.

Understand Features man is not so easy. We often explain the actions, moods and the relationship of others, based on their own ideas about their causes. I must say that good human In the actions and relationships of people usually sees good motivations. And bad - bad. Good man is usually trusting. In his relationship with people, he proceeds from the idea that everyone is kind, coherent, and is very surprised and is upset when they do not discover these qualities. Bad man suspicious, he sees the rogue, a careerist, any luck of another man He explains the cunning of that, flattery, deception; and it is very difficult to convince the decency of this man. In general, the ability to understand the most essential features of another man, identify the true meaning of his actions, sentiment, discrepancies in the assessments and ideas arising from people, testifies to high enough cultural development man. Cultural, brought upFirst of all, it cares about not to humiliate the dignity of another man. I would like to pay attention to one quality, about which we are shy about to speak out loud, which many, unfortunately, consider old-fashioned. This is a nobility. True nobility - come to help manNo matter what adverse circumstances and the consequences of this are related. The ability is connected with this quality. man mapping, empathize, sympathize, promote - a sign of spiritual maturity of the person. Nobility - high morality manconnected to dedication and honesty. We sometimes fall out happy moments of meeting with noble manBut these moments are very rare. Why? Probably because really very little in the life of noble and truly cultural people. Well, do we ourselves? For some reason, dare to demand nobility and generosity, sympathy and understanding, forgiveness and help from other people in relation to us. And yourself? Let's ask themselves a few questions and try to answer them. What is the main thing for us - « be» or "seem"? Are people interesting to us by themselves, beyond their position, place of work and material opportunities? Did we respect others around or just do the view?

Do you love anyone other than yourself? In other words, what are our internal, most intimate needs, desires and values? No matter how you answer these questions, our words, actions, actions and relationships give us. Great I. Guete wrote that "behavior is a mirror in which each shows its true appearance." WHAT So be brought up Completely natural steel for us phrases: "It - educated man"She's just rude", etc. But often we yourself find it difficult to determine what we invest in the concept " educated man. And, by the way, it would be nice to know from which it seems to be pupil, at least in order to being exactlyWhat they want to see us surrounding. Politeness. Ancient Greeks argued that be a very outstanding personto afford to be ignored. It is politeness that mitigates the morals, warns the quarrels, pacify irritation and hatred, causes to restrain, contributes to the emergence of love and respect.

Courtesy can be learned, but there is also congenital politeness, which comes from the soul, and not from education. Rules of politeness prohibit: - enter the official institution in a hat (Men) And talk loudly (both sexes); - noise, disturbing and annoying others; - criticize whose religious beliefs; - to humiliate someone's nationality; - laugh at the errors and misses of other people; - endow the interlocutor out loud offensive epithets; - send a letter or gift to the reverse address; - in the disrespectful tone to respond about close interlocutor; - Cover of surnames and names; - open someone else's bag, look into it, if it is open, explore the contents of foreign pockets; - to put forward the boxes of someone else's table and shift their contents both at work and at home, as well as open someone else's closet, buffet, storage room. Tact. Takt is moral intuition pupil man, as if prompting him the most loyal approach, the most subtle, delicate, cautious behavior in relation to others.

Tact involves tolerance, generosity, attention and deep respect for inner world Other people, sincere desire and ability to understand them, feel that can deliver joy to them, and what - to upset. Tacticity is a sense of measure that should be observed in a conversation in any relations with people, the ability does not move the border, which is always offended by the interlocutor. Tactfulness also implies the ability to determine the response of the interlocutor in our words or actions

and in the right cases - self-criticism and ability to apologize in time for admitted oversight. Tact does not cancel the principle, directness, honesty, and the rules of tactful behavior are far from the first in the moral code. But very often the lack of tacty wounds people close to us. Punctuality. It is she testifying to good manners. Only the serious reason May excuse late.

Intentionally force yourself to wait (Even young sites invited to the first date) - ignorant. Modesty. Modest human It never seeks to show itself better, more intelligent than others, does not emphasize his superiority over them, does not speak of their qualities, does not require any privileges, special services, amenities. At the same time, modesty is not a timidity and not shyness. Usually truly modest people in critical situations are much harder than others in defending their principles. Usefulness. It is virtue until she becomes obsessive. It is best to take for a rule to provide services only when you ask you about it. If you are referred to you, which you are not able to do, it is better to refuse immediately than to give a word and not hold back it. Good manners. "The one who has a smallest number of people put in an awkward position" claimed Jonathan Swift. Not accepted B. society: - To bring yourself away and your clothes in order, straighten the tie, hairstyle, clean your nails; - Hair and generally touch the hair; - use the garbage garment as a toothpick; - click the joints of the fingers; - rub his hands; - Wrap clothes; - constantly something "purring" for yourself under his nose; - Stormy manifestations, offensive, rude words to detect your anger and indignation. Now look at your behavior and think how polite you are.

A brought up man has a sufficient cloth, he can behave in society, has good manners.A pupil person is not difficult to recognize at first glance. The appearance says himself for himself: he is not lost in an unfamiliar society, knows how to sit at the table, beautiful and neatly there. But the pupil is not only good manners. This is something deep and significant in man. This "something" is internal culture and intelligence, the basis of which are the guilty and respect for another person.

The phrases are completely natural for us: "He is a brought up man," she is just a rude ", etc. But often we ourselves finding it difficult to determine what they are inserted into the concept of a "educated person." And, by the way, it would be nice to know, from which the pupil is precisely, at least in order to be exactly what they want to see us.

Qualities possessed by a brought up

Politeness. The ancient Greeks argued that it was necessary to be a very outstanding person to afford to be impolite. It is politeness that mitigates the morals, warns the quarrels, pacify irritation and hatred, causes to restrain, contributes to the emergence of love and respect. Caliability can be learned, but there is also congenital politeness, which comes from the heart, and not from the upbringing.

The rules of politeness prohibit:

- to enter the official institution in the hat (men) and talk loudly (to those of both sexes);

- noise, disturbing and annoying others;

- criticize whose religious beliefs;

- to humiliate someone's nationality;

- laugh at the errors and misses of other people;

- endow the interlocutor out loud offensive epithets;

- send a letter or gift to the reverse address;

- in the disrespectful tone to respond about close interlocutor;

- Cover of surnames and names;

- open someone else's bag, look into it, if it is open, explore the contents of foreign pockets;

- to put forward the boxes of someone else's table and shift their contents both at work and at home, as well as open someone else's closet, buffet, storage room.

Tact. Tact is the moral intuition of a person's brought up, as if prompting him the most loyal approach, the finest, delicate, cautious line of behavior towards others.

Tact suggests in us tolerance, generosity, attention and deep respect for the inner world of other people, sincere desire and ability to understand them, feel that it can deliver joy, and what - to upset.Tacticity is a sense of measure that should be observed in a conversation in any relations with people, the ability does not move the border, which is always offended by the interlocutor. Tacticity also implies a skill in time to determine the response of the interlocutor into our words or actions and in the right cases - self-criticism and ability to apologize in time for agreed.

Tact does not cancel the principle, directness, honesty, and the rules of tactful behavior are far from the first in the moral code. But very often the lack of tacty wounds people close to us.

Punctuality. It is she testifying to good manners. Only a valid reason can excuse lateness. Often to force yourself to wait (even young people invited to the first date) - ignorated.

Modesty. A modest person never seeks to show itself better, more intelligent than others, does not emphasize his superiority over them, does not speak of his qualities, does not require any privileges, special services, amenities.

At the same time, modesty is not a timidity and not shyness. Usually truly modest people in critical situations are much harder than others in defending their principles.

Usefulness. It is virtue until she becomes obsessive. It is best to take for a rule to provide services only when you ask you about it. If you are referred to you, which you are not able to do, it is better to refuse immediately than to give a word and not hold back it.

Good manners. "A good manner has the one who has the smallest number of people in an awkward position," said Jonathan Swift.

Not accepted in society:

- put yourself up and your clothes in order, straighten the tie, hairstyle, clean your nails;

- Hair and generally touch the hair;

- use the garbage garment as a toothpick;

- click the joints of the fingers;

- rub his hands;

- Wrap clothes;

- constantly something "purring" for yourself under his nose;

- Stormy manifestations, offensive, rude words to detect your anger and indignation.

Now look at your behavior and think how polite you are.

If you ask several people about what it means to be brought up, then you will probably get different answers. Indeed, being brought up is a whole art, and now, unfortunately, not everyone owns them to fully. It is impossible to become brought up immediately, a person learns this throughout his life. You can talk about pupils by hours, but in this article we will talk about the basic qualities of a person who can be called brought up by right.

Fights of a raised man

1. The most important quality of a pupil person is that he is thinking not only about himself, but also about other people, too, and behaves so as to live in harmony with himself and with others. A brought up man tries not to interfere with other people, always comes to help, if he is able to help, he is always polite and tacty.
2. An educated person keeps etiquette (rules of behavior in society).
3. A brought up man respects other people, their opinion, different from his own, tolerantly belongs to others, their habits and interests, even if they don't like them.
4. He always behaves adequately and, accordingly, the situation.
5. A brought up man has a sense of self-esteem, lives in the appointment with his desires and responsibilities, while not infrainment of the rights of other people.
6. He seriously refers to his work, whether it is a job or study. It works with all possible returns, conscientiously and efficiently.
7. A brought up man fulfills his promises and always comes on time.
8. He is kindly tuned to others, confidently feels like in the company of unfamiliar people, because he knows how to behave correctly with them.
9. He knows how to hide his emotions when necessary. A brought up man is restrained and correct.
10. A brought up man is a good interlocutor. He knows how to listen, maintain a conversation and respond.
11. He is honest both in front of him and in front of other people.
12. A brought up man knows.
13. A bought man honors and complies with the laws of his state.
14. A brought up man behaves correctly in disputes. He does not try to subordinate to his point of view and all, but also his opinion defends firmly and skillfully. What does it mean to be brought up in the dispute? If a brought up man was wrong, he would not be afraid to admit his guilt and apologize.
15. A brought up man is not trying to live due to the labor of other people. He is independent and no one forces anything for his own well-being.
16. A brought up man independently makes decisions and responsible for himself and his actions.
17. A brought up man is sincere in personal relationship, loves, understands and respects his parents.
18. He watches his words and their meaning. Able to control his speech depending on the situation and the situation.
19. A brought up man does not use abnormative vocabulary.
20. A brought up man never stands in place, he constantly develops spiritually. With such a person nice to communicate and be friends.

That's what it means - to be brought up.