How a woman to love herself what to do advice. How to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman: advice from a psychologist

“Until a woman has an affair with herself, every man will be just a psychotherapist for her, trying to cure her of her rejection of herself and the fear of being alone.
True, deep love arises from a state of self-fullness. Then love for a man will be born in its highest manifestation - as a gift of oneself to him, and not as a desperate attempt to be needed by someone in order to feel one's full value.
Paulo Coelho

Life is a kind of exciting game, the rules of which you create yourself. It’s up to you to choose the path to follow, it (like any game) only presents its amazing surprises and gives unthinkable bizarre twists of fate, and sometimes hard trials fall on our lot, but as we all know, they are given according to our strength! Women are a strong part of humanity and can overcome almost all difficulties, and for this we simply must be happy! And each of us, on the way to our happiness, must first of all love ourselves! Communicating with my girlfriends, I often hear about the sea of ​​"injustices" that happen to them, and that there is no way out of this situation and cannot be! They lament: “Well, why did this happen to me? Why am I worse?" (I confess that I myself often sin with such annoying, tormenting little thoughts 😉) And such irreconcilable longing and self-pity is read in their eyes that it seems that everything has already been irrevocably lost, and the light at the end of the tunnel will never dawn again ...

All that is needed is to stop feeling sorry for yourself, because this is not the best feeling. Do not expect anything from anyone, but act and do! The only difference between what you want and what you get is what you WILL DO!

I have one unimagined story about an old acquaintance who, having revised her attitude to life, changed her for the better, and the key to her success was hidden in the small - the courage to face the truth, one day off and a new dress ...

There are such women, as the people say "both smart and beautiful", but for some reason they have little happiness. It seems that both the husband is good, and the children are golden, live - and rejoice. And on weekdays: only home-work-home. Weekends: cleaning, shops and a stove, and again there is no time to even play with the children, but what about the spouse? Not life, but a "fairy tale", is this what we saw in dreams of a happy life? And literally after 10-15, or even 5 years of life according to such a “fabulous schedule”, the husband increasingly becomes busy with “his own”, separate from you, affairs and pays less and less attention, and the children live their own lives and the question of how are you they answer: “Maaam, don’t interfere, I’m already an adult / adult !!!”. And then you, in a frantic rhythm of affairs, one day stop for a second at the mirror ... and what do you see? And you see new wrinkles, the absence of any hairstyle and makeup, and the worst thing is the endless melancholy and fatigue in the eyes.

And our heroine lived according to this scenario, like 90% of Russian women: a husband, charming seven-year-old twins, success at work and an endless mountain of household chores. And then one day, on the run, however, as always, she stopped at the mirror and did not recognize her own reflection. Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by that very melancholy and a feeling of "darkness and hopelessness."

But, fortunately, she turned out to be a brave and wise young lady. Taking a deep breath that quelled her rising panic attacks, she decided to take stock of the situation. She is only 36 - the very dawn of femininity and can still be saved.

After a detailed examination of her reflection in the mirror, she decided on radical, by her standards, actions. Throw all worries and devote the upcoming weekend to your beloved.

The first thing she did was to get a good night's sleep, forgetting about all the things that could wait, but she can't wait any longer, she's alone. The next morning, after a long healthy sleep, there was no trace of a gray complexion and an extinct look.

She turned off the phone and went for a walk in proud and pleasant solitude. Yes, just and aimlessly walking, not in a hurry, enjoying the beauty of the city and the surrounding world. After all, she understood that in order to understand her beauty, one must be able to admire the beauty around.

After a long and pleasant walk in the fresh air, having put her thoughts on the shelves, she wanted to drink a cup of warming coffee and on the way to the cafe, like a few days earlier, she stopped for a moment ... A beautiful showcase with a new collection of dresses appeared on her way, she stared on them and on her reflection in this window, and the woman she saw in the reflection of the glass, she liked very much, it made her smile to herself. She thought: “Doesn't such a beauty deserve a reward?” And, casting aside all doubts, she went into the store. Her lifestyle did not allow her to wear dresses often when you were in in constant motion and worries, you have to dress in comfortable things. But today is her day off, she is in no hurry anywhere, breathes deeply and can afford small female pranks and pleasures. And then, among the cramped rows of clothes, the same dress appeared in front of her, which she had long dreamed of, but did not even dare to find it in stores, because she knew in advance that there would be nowhere to put it on. An elegant turquoise knee length dress with a dainty strap, this color matches the color of her eyes so well.

“This is what I need today,” she thought and, without hesitation for a long time, decided to buy this expensive and dazzlingly beautiful dress.

Returning home, she began to try it on in front of the mirror and really liked herself, she smiled again and said to her reflection "I love you." This gave her so much strength and confidence that she was no longer going to stop confessing. As if there was no this old fatigue, she felt young and incredibly attractive. She left the bedroom in the same dress. The household members, enthusiastically busy with their own affairs, immediately lost interest in what they were doing when she appeared. They haven't seen her like this for a long time. Today was her day, her little triumph, and she wanted to share it with the people she loved.

She kissed the children, and tenderly whispered to her husband that she loved him.

Everyone knows that men love with their eyes. His eyes lit up like on the first day of their acquaintance, and he, without restraining feelings and tenderness, reciprocated. Their sons, dumbfounded by what was happening, rushed to hug their parents happily.

This wonderful day ended in a cozy restaurant serving the most delicious cakes in town. The whole family was back together and happy again!

Happiness and love always go hand in hand with each other in life. One cannot and should not exist without the other. And in order to be happy, loved and give joy to your family, first try to fall in love with yourself. You are unique and inimitable, and you deserve to be happy! What a beautiful dress deserves you!

Do you want to know which dress will really adorn you in the best way? Come to the author's method of Ekaterina Pankina.

Sincerely,
Svetlana Romanova

Woman, wife, mother

I know why you are here and how you feel now. You are tired of being dissatisfied with yourself (externally and internally), of repeating situations over and over again that do not change, of having to endure and bend over ... “Urgently awaken love for yourself” - that's what I would prescribe for you if I were a doctor. But what does it mean love yourself and how to do it?

I will try to explain everything clearly and step by step. I just want to ask you to prepare a pen and a notebook, because there are practices that require work on yourself. Yes, yes, without difficulty you cannot become happy and so simply do not rekindle love for yourself. Therefore, run for everything you need (you can even grab cookies with tea) and sit down as soon as possible.

The main reason for self-dislike low self-esteem. In order to improve and strengthen it, you need to work hard on yourself every day!

How is it to love yourself?

Every woman needs to learn to love herself with unconditional love. What does it mean? It means that love yourself for no reason . And how to do it - you will see further.

All you need is to accept yourself with all the advantages and disadvantages unconditionally. I know how difficult it is to come to terms with shortcomings: when everyone notices your burriness; when the ribs stick out from under the clothes; when you limp or slouch because of an injury. But what are you going to do here?

Therefore, it is important to start the path to yourself as a valuable person in order to feel lightness with every step. And this is a continuous process, and you should not stop!

With what unconditional love different from conditional? The latter gives rise to the desire to prove to everyone that you are better and capable of much. Conventions are always accompanied by selfishness, pride and narcissism. But this path does not lead to happiness.

1. All it takes to have love is to be love.
2. Love does not require conditions.
3. This experience is absolute and perfect.

Let us examine in detail the question of how to develop self-love.

What is this term often confused with?

This concept has nothing to do with narcissism!

True self love is a natural and modest sense of self that you accept in yourself.

There is no pressure or effort involved.

Having this feeling:

• you are in harmony with yourself;
• you walk the world easily;
• feel confident in any situation;
• respect everything you do and everything you say.

It's such a down to earth and natural feeling.

Let's figure out where to start in order to love yourself completely and completely. Consider all 19 ways.

1. Realize that no one and nothing external will complete you, you are already self-sufficient

2. Accept yourself completely

Accept yourself the way you are

Love yourself in any manifestation and expression, in any verbal and non-verbal expression.

1. Love all your mistakes you made in the past.
   This is important because people often judge themselves, hate themselves and despise themselves for the things that have been done in the past.
2. At that moment in time and with that knowledge, that action was the most correct for you. Realize that you did those actions in the past that led to mistakes, because you thought at that moment that they would be the most correct for you.
   Of course, then you admit the mistake, but you love yourself with these mistakes and accept them.
3. Thanks to your mistakes, you are where you are now..
   They made you stronger and stronger. Implement this knowledge and no longer worry about how to learn to love and respect yourself.

When you no longer associate the word “acceptance” with weakness, you begin to live with ease and calmness that you have never seen before.

Accept all your flaws and love yourself with them: there is what is

Mantra for all occasions: “There is what is. And that's okay."

Example. I screwed up in front of people yesterday, I couldn't make a presentation and didn't prepare.

There is what is, and that's okay.

Use this phrase like practical advice about how to love yourself and stop self-flagellation.

What is the fine line which many people forget:

• This does not mean that you have now resigned yourself to the fact that you are a dull and boring creature and now you are always lying on the couch and doing nothing! No.
• Are you still longing to be best version myself.
• You just don't judge yourself for your shortcomings.

3. You don't need a reason to love yourself.

You are self-sufficient and should love yourself for no reason.

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, then love will not be complete and complete, and doubts and reasons for the opposite immediately appear in your head. You don't need a reason.

As soon as you start thinking: “I love myself because…”, there are immediately reasons not to love yourself!

If you are looking for reasons to love yourself, you find reasons to doubt!

You love yourself, period. Without a reason.

You are already self-sufficient and there is no reason to be otherwise.

Thanks to this realization, you will know everything about how to love yourself and increase self-esteem for a woman or a man.

4. Stop putting people on pedestals and realize that everyone is equal

No one is better or worse than you.

Stop comparing yourself to other people and undermine your self-esteem.

Otherwise, you will get into an endless race with yourself and you will never solve your questions about how to love yourself and be a self-confident person.

Get out from under the influence of social programming. Be aware that.

Make a choice and allow yourself to be equal with everyone and experience inner lightness.

5. Never compare yourself to others

Comparing oneself to others always causes a feeling of lack of self-sufficiency and condemnation of oneself.

Never chase after others and do not strive to be what you are not!

Example. You look at your neighbor, how he lives successfully and how his business is flourishing, you compare it with your state of affairs, and you upset yourself and are loaded because of this comparison.

Comparing yourself to others gets in the way of self-acceptance.

You cannot be what you are not. You can't live someone else's life. No matter how hard you try, you'll be able to be a cheaper, duller version of the person you're chasing!

The best thing you can do is be yourself.

Don't try to be what you are not. Don't try to be like everyone else.

Be yourself and go beyond your limits, expand your comfort zone.

It often happens that unconscious girls compare themselves with each other. And as a result, then they are always competing with someone. It's like an endless wheel of suffering and chasing.

With this type of thinking, women's questions about how to love themselves and increase self-esteem in the psychology of perception will forever remain open.

With whom can you compare yourself?

The only person you should compare yourself to it's you yourself!

For example, what were you like yesterday and what are you today.

A fine line. Try to compare yourself with yourself NOT with regards to the results achieved, but with regards to the new knowledge and awareness received.

Ask yourself these questions daily:

• What have I become wiser than yesterday and what have I learned new?
• What lessons have I learned from today?
• Am I out of my comfort zone today?

Only such a comparison with oneself has a place to be.

If the answer is no, then you remind yourself of what you need to work on and where to strive.

6. Respect your body and your mind

Consider the sixth advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself.

Respect your body and mind - this means that you love yourself as a spiritual person, able to think and be aware, and you love your healthy body and follow him.

Respecting your body means living a healthy lifestyle

How to respect your body:

1. Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and other harmful substances. You must love your body, and love for it is expressed by the fact that you do not stuff it with harmful smelling, alcoholic, inhaling things and do not undermine its health.
2. Develop your body, go to the gym. Feel the pain of muscle growth when it comes to understanding that the muscles are using their full potential and you are using them correctly. It's fine.
3. These feelings of developing the muscles of the body and eating the right food give you more confidence and lightness in the body. Appreciate your body for it.

People get drunk and live their lives this way because they hate themselves and don't know anything about how to learn to love and appreciate themselves.

Respect your mind and consciousness, do not stuff it with false information

What does this mean and how should it be implemented:

1. You don't have to watch trash on TV.
2. You need to think positively, have clear and distinct thoughts. Have pure thoughts. And then you will close your questions about .
3. You remove all negative thoughts that only hinder progress.
4. You need to develop your mind, explore new concepts, ideas, topics, look for better solutions.
5. Let your mind rest.
6. Meditate. You can read more about .
7. Show him that you respect him.

The implementation of these principles will be one of the main trump cards that close the question of how to start loving yourself.

7. Remove the negative grumpy granny in yourself, judging other people and yourself

Why you need to stop judging others and yourself

This will also be the main advice of a psychologist on how to love yourself for a woman after 50 or an elderly man.

But, alas, this bad habit is also found among the younger generation.

An example of how judging others limits you

1. For example, a man sings songs on the street with an accordion.
2. And you and your friend go through and start throwing mud at him: “Here, Chaliapin was found, there is no voice, there is nothing to do, let him go to the circus,” etc.
3. There comes a time when you already have to speak to people on the street and sing a song. But you begin to shake, you are tense and confidence is lost somewhere.
4. It is this grouchy grandmother, judging others, that limits you in your actions.
5. Never judge anyone. Both yourself and others.

The only thing you can blame yourself:

• Have I done my best?
• Did I do everything I could to get better?

8. If you don’t like something, then don’t endure it, act

You can verbally tell the person that you don't like it, or use facial expressions and gestures to show that you do not approve of it.

From childhood, your mother taught you to endure difficult situations and let them be.

It was the same at school. No need to be patient!

These are not necessarily words, they can be actions that stop what you do not like.

Example: The man smokes in the car. And you can't stand cigarette smoke and have never smoked. You immediately look for solutions to an unpleasant situation for you and say it out loud.

• I suggest that the person get out of the car and smoke on the sidelines.
• I'm talking about the fact that I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I'm allergic.
• I say that we will not be able to communicate with him until he stops smoking.

Implement this psychological technique and it will become easier to love yourself.

The more you solve unpleasant situations for you, the more love and respect for yourself will appear.

9. Have personal boundaries: what you accept in people and what you don't

Why it is important to have personal boundaries:

Example.

• I don't like it when a man sits on my neck.
• I do not like gossips, liars and hypocrites.
• And so on.

Also write your preference what you value and respect in people.

This way you will know what you want. You will know clear answers to questions from psychology about how to love and respect yourself.

10. When you achieve your goals, reward yourself in every possible way: for example, buy yourself sweets.

If you set a goal for yourself and realized it, please yourself with pleasant things.

How it helps you further:

• Thus, unconsciously, you reinforce in your head that achieving goals is doubly pleasant and tastier.
• There is more energy to achieve the goal.
• Buying something for yourself, rewarding yourself for the result - emphasizes it, causes natural love for yourself for the efforts and efforts made.

For example, I like to buy sweets for myself: chocolates, cake. To whom to taste. It's always nice.

Implement this and you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to start loving and respecting yourself.

11. Don't whine or let whiners cry into your waistcoat.

You are not a sponge and not a vest in which you can cry! Make it clear to everyone around you.

When you yourself whine next to people for life and for people, you just show them that they can also do the same to you.

Whining does not solve the problem in any way!

You don’t want to love a whiner, you want to love a strong personality!

How to stop whiners:

1. If the person next to you whines and complains about life, on people, pours out his soul to you and cries, ask him: “How will you solve your problem?”.
2. If he keeps whining, then he's not going to solve anything.. This means that a person just wants to feel needed for you, pour out his soul to you, feel your empathy.
3. Ask yourself: “Why do you need such people?”. Get rid of the whiners without a doubt, and you will already feel how you began to love yourself more for it.
4. Get the whiners out of your social circle, and around you there will be a strong and healthy ecosystem of emotions and only strong personalities around. No whiner will drag you down.

12. You create all situations yourself: take responsibility for yourself and your actions

How to learn it with a piece of paper and a pen

Apply this effective method from psychology on the topic of how to learn to love yourself, in practice.

An example with a situation where a man had a fight with a man on the street

How did the person bring the situation to this point:

• I myself behaved too aggressively and emotionally.
• I myself called names and provoked a man.
• I could just leave at any moment.
• I was looking for my own adventure.
• I pushed the man first.
• I myself attracted the negative that I had been accumulating for a long time.

13. Know your strengths and unique values, write them down and remember them.

Know exactly what value you have, what attractive characteristics and qualities.

If you don't know this, you won't be able to develop self-love and dealing with people will be harder.

For example, it's great if while communicating with people, you, without even straining, bring such things as:

Whoever you are you already have value, if only because you are unique.

Write down your unique qualities in writing and remember them. This will help to cope with restless thoughts about how to learn to love yourself as a woman or a man.

Answer the following questions in writing:

1. What makes your personality attractive?
2. What are your hobbies, interests, hobbies?
3. What sensations do you give to people who are in your environment without trying and without making an effort?
4. How deeply can you express your interesting personality when interacting with other people?
5. How independent and free are you on the inside?

Values ​​are different for different people. As your personality develops, your values ​​may change.

Video on how to increase objective self-esteem

14. Trust yourself and your intentions more, act according to your desires

1. Say what you want.
2. If what you do comes from good intentions, trust them, do it and realize them!
3. Whatever your desires and intentions, act according to them.

Don't be afraid to show yourself what others don't want you to see! Because this is your life and you live for yourself, and not for others!

The more you trust yourself and act on your desires, the more you live the life you want.

Examples of how people limit themselves in life because of the opinions of others:

• Some people do not want to fully express themselves and their personality because they are afraid of offending other people.
• Some people don't want to dance because they're afraid of getting looks of disapproval or bringing smiles to the faces of others.

You can read an article on how to ignore other people's opinions and get rid of shyness.

15. Be more interested in yourself, do introspection, strive to be your best self

How to learn to love yourself and be a confident person

Stick to these principles, and you will no longer worry about how to learn to love life and yourself.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What are your passions in this life?
• What excites and excites you?
• What kind of humor do you like?
• What kind of music do you like?

16. Set yourself a big goal that will excite and keep you awake, and realize it

1. Set yourself a goal that will excite you and keep you awake!
   Live this dream and make it a reality every day.
2. The more you set a goal for yourself, the more energy you have in your body to implement it and make it a reality.
3. If the goal is low and petty, then there will be so much energy.
4. Thus, on the way to big goal you will live interesting life , there will be respect for yourself and a feeling that you are growing, and not standing still.

Remember the importance of the goal and you will close your questions about how to learn to love yourself and become an interesting person.

17. It's Important to Love Other People: Don't Try to Change Them

It is important to love and accept people for who they are.

Be aware of these principles, reread them occasionally, and don't worry about how to love yourself and other people too.

18. You don't have to be a super perfect person.

Our society, mass media and television inspire perfectionism and the desire to be super-ideal and correct.

Allegedly, you should have an ideal body, education.

In fact, no one wants to be perfect and correct!

Replace this desire with the desire to fully accept and love yourself in any manifestation and expression.

People want to be themselves.

Allow yourself and others to be who they are.

In this way, you will know everything about how to accept yourself and love.

19. Do not forget to respect yourself and just look neat

Enough to conform to your idea of ​​what is normal

To be in pretentious cool places, it is absolutely not necessary to have super expensive clothes.

To do this, it is enough to look appropriate to your idea of ​​\u200b\u200bwhat is normal.

Well, it is desirable, of course, to find out in advance about the requirements of the institution and comply with them. If there are no special requirements, then there is no need to comply with anything.

• It is very stupid to advise a person to always think positively.. This is tantamount to keeping in mind and forcibly clinging to some thoughts.
• Any condition is temporary and impermanent.. For all people, the state changes and there is no point in forcing a person to depend on the state and constantly chase after it.
• This does not mean that now you can be a vile evil grandmother. No.
• You gotta love yourself no matter what state you're in. Be congruent with yourself and love yourself in any manifestation.

This is where all the advice ends. Now you know everything about how to love yourself correctly and correctly interpret this concept.

Wise words

Love is the absence of separation and boundaries between people. This is when you are dissolved and see yourself in every person.

Loving all people is much more beautiful than loving yourself alone or just your partner.

Many women, even strong and independent, satisfied with life, career and family, sooner or later come to the conclusion that they lack one small detail for complete happiness, namely self-love. In the twenty-first century, loving yourself is more important than ever. Self-respect and gratitude to yourself is the engine of success and a fundamental factor in happiness. But it is not enough to realize this need, you also need to understand what to do in order to love yourself and become happy.

Why is it necessary to love yourself?

It is not for nothing that they say that until we learn to love ourselves, we will not be able to love others. AT modern world there are a lot of people who can not understand themselves in any way and act completely illogically in relation to other people. From such people, their eyes, words and gestures, you can immediately see how they are at odds with themselves, and, in truth, you want to stay away from them, and much less often - to help them.

Loving yourself, especially a girl, is important and necessary, if only because:

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In the lives of many women, the word “should” is higher than the word “want”. Of course, there must be a reasonable framework, but what would Cinderella have achieved if she hadn’t put “I want” higher than “necessary” once in her life? It doesn't matter if your goal is to marry a prince, keep the one you're already married to, or just stop looking away every morning when you walk past the mirror. Loving yourself is necessary for many purposes, and learning this is actually not difficult.

Reasons for not loving yourself

As with many self-development and problem-solving techniques, understanding the cause is the first step to success. It is important to understand why you do not feel special love for yourself in order to work with it correctly. The reasons for dislike can be different and most often purely individual, but basically they are divided into categories such as:

• Rooted in childhood. Yes, childhood is the first place to look for the germ of discontent. Raising children is as responsible as laying the foundation for a home. Only if there is strict control in construction, GOSTs and rechecks, then a certain percentage of parents, unfortunately, do not raise their children in the best way. The experience of bringing up with a belt and indicating the “proper place” adopted from the previous generation often affects the self-esteem of an adult in a negative way. Think about how you were treated as a child, maybe then everything went wrong.
• Imposed by others. From school to work, every day we face the most different people, the degree of influence of which on us is directly proportional to our attitude towards them. The more important a person’s opinion about us, the more painful his disapproval will be, and people come across different and among them there are envious and negatively disposed towards those who are superior to them in some way. Therefore, the cause of low self-esteem should not always be sought within oneself, sometimes one needs to look around.
• Caused by life circumstances. A series of bad events, a few gross life mistakes, incorrectly drawn conclusions - all this can undermine even strong character person. Analyzing the last events of your life, you can display a list of negative incidents that affected self-esteem, and by trying to let them go and reconcile, you can correct it.
• Caused by complexes. The reason for the appearance of complexes is a separate conversation, but the very fact of their presence may already hide the problem of insufficient self-esteem. Women are slightly more prone to complexes than men, especially physical ones, and this makes it very difficult to come to terms with the phrase “Love yourself the way you are.” However, it is necessary to get rid of them, and the recognition of their presence is already a serious step.

Of course, in addition to the above, there may be other reasons known only to you. If you want to love yourself, it’s not enough to try to do it in all available ways that fall under the recommendations of psychologists, you also need to correctly understand the reason why you can’t do it.

Read self-esteem books, take tests, or consult a psychologist to dot the i's, and working on self-love will become much easier.

Go to any book store, find a shelf with psychological books - among them lies a whole bunch of guides on how to find your place in life, love yourself and be happy. If you scroll through them all to the table of contents, the essence will be reduced to approximately the same list of principles that psychologists around the world are talking about.

In order to love yourself, you need not only to understand, but also to do simple things that help you become happier.

Raise your self-esteem

Having high self-esteem and loving yourself are not exactly the same thing. You can be confident in all your actions and fully justify and support yourself, while being deeply disgusted with yourself. However, only a few are able to love themselves, while evaluating themselves extremely negatively. Both of these extremes border on mental deformation, so it is important to strike a clear balance, as well as remember the difference between a sense of self-worth and a sense of self-worth.

Self-worth means striving to be important to others and feel better than you are, while self-esteem is the strict limits of what is permitted in relation to others and respect for oneself.

So, first of all, you need to work on self-esteem. There is a wide choice for this. psychological exercises, the whole essence of most of which comes down to one plan:

• Reproach yourself less for mistakes;
• Ignore your shortcomings, especially external ones;
• Eradicate complexes;
• Evolve;
• Please yourself, give yourself compliments and gifts;
• Read inspiring books, watch life-affirming films, communicate with positive people.

All this will help increase self-esteem, and with good self-esteem, it will be much easier to love yourself.

Turn on positive thinking

In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale published his book The Power positive thinking”, the purpose of which was to help people with serious illnesses and various difficulties in life understand the relationship between “belief in the best” and a happy cure. To this day, this book is published and reprinted: more than five million copies have been released in more than a dozen languages.

What is the power of positive thinking? The fact that, thanks to this book, at least several million people on the planet know for sure, the phrase “Believe in the best and the best will come” is no joke. positive attitude to life and really changes it for the better, giving strength not to give up in the face of difficulties and go towards the intended goal in peace and harmony with oneself.

Of course, with low self-esteem, the first spoke in the wheels will cause a complete loss of positive thinking. Therefore, it is necessary to work on these two things at the same time not to give in to difficulties and to believe in yourself.

Focus on the positive

Thinking positively is important, but even more important is focusing on the good. Get yourself a notebook in which to mark the most positive things that happen to you. Capture bright moments. Try not to write for a week, not to tell or complain to anyone about bad events, try to remember only the good ones.

Our problem is that by dwelling on the bad, we leave the good behind. From this hands down and we become disgusted with ourselves. It is in your hands to change this circumstance - renounce the negative. Pay attention only to those things that raise your self-esteem and bring joy from your own actions. So you will love yourself much faster than if you worry about every mistake or unpleasant incident.

Fulfill your desires

Remember your childhood, how others treated you: mom, dad, grandmother, grandfather. Everyone tried to please you, little one, to do something for you, to please you with something pleasant. Why are you in adult life stop doing it for yourself? Maybe you heard the phrases too often: “You never know what you want there, you need this” or “I also want a lot of things, will you make it?”. Or are you used to the fact that others love you, but you yourself have not learned?

As a child, I wanted simple things somehow differently: to run through the dew with bare heels, to get balloon with a heart, dress up in mother's shoes and make faces in front of the mirror. In adulthood, we somehow avoid thinking about simple and natural desires, replacing them with duties that urgently need to be fulfilled.

Stop for a second, take a piece of paper and write down the three simplest wishes that you want to fulfill today.

For example: eat ice cream, take a walk in the park, buy a new blouse. Even if there are no desires, come up with them. The hormone of happiness, which the body produces when doing something, keeps you in physical shape and gives you not only external, but also internal beauty, which is much more important.

Don't compare yourself to others

Suppose the girl has a prettier dress and she smiles a little sincerely. Jealous? Perhaps. But someone Donald Featherstone in 1996 was awarded the Ig Nobel (yes, not the Nobel) Prize for the invention of a plastic pink flamingo. Jealous? Not? Why?

Because people are different. And comparing a passing girl in a haute couture dress with the inventor of pink plastic flamingos is as illogical as comparing yourself with someone else. Each has its own pros, cons, priorities and skills. Everyone is proud of what he sees fit, and envious of those he sees fit, but it is unlikely that Donald Featherstone compared himself to a model from a show in Milan.

Develop. But do not do it in order to surpass someone else, it may turn out that there was no one to outdo. Develop to be better than you were before.

Reward Your Success

Encouragement is one of the main methods of educating both children and adults. Praising ourselves, even mentally, for successful accomplishments, we raise our self-esteem, and a little encouragement in the form of a pleasant trifle or favorite treat at times increases the positive effect.

Take advantage of every moment to achieve success, even the smallest one - it greatly improves mood and self-esteem. If you know that with effort you can do something for which you will be grateful to yourself, do it and be grateful to yourself. A smile will appear on your face, your eyes will shine in the mirror, and you will want to live a little stronger. Even simple homework: washed dishes, a cleaned room, a written poem or an article that has long been asked for on the keyboard will give you strength and joy - what is vital in order to love yourself.

Don't berate yourself for failures

Let us give an example: Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol took and burned the second volume of Dead Souls. If we put aside doubts about the very existence of the second volume and take as truth the assumption that he did it because he did not like the result, although he worked on it for quite some time, what remains? Millions of readers who, after a century and a half, regret that the magnificent work did not succeed in continuing.

Of course, we have already said that you should not compare yourself with others, but the principle remains the principle: if something does not work out, you should not go to extremes, scold yourself for it and punish yourself. Everyone is wrong. It doesn't work for everyone. But only wise and self-confident people can relate to failures philosophically, without obsessing over them and without lowering their self-esteem.

Pause the world

Work, family, children, cleaning, cooking, ironing - in the hustle and bustle, we often forget that there is always someone else who needs attention - ourselves. There will always be urgent and important things, urgent events and tasks of a global scale, trying to be torn between everyone is very easy to forget about yourself.

Take a break at least once a day - a small one, and at least once a week - a big one. Abstract from the whole universe with a cup of tea on the balcony or with your favorite bike in the park. Allow yourself not to think about anything, not to touch yourself to anyone, take time for yourself and enjoy your company. This will help you understand yourself, relax and tune in a positive way.

Get exercise

Everyone knows that scientists have proven that physical exercise increases efficiency. You will be surprised, but they also help you to love yourself. And not only in the sense that a beautiful figure causes joy and happiness, but also in the fact that morning exercises energize you for the whole day. Cheerfulness helps to do important things, and success helps to love yourself.

Spend more time outdoors. Start running in the morning. Buy roller skates and go to the rollerdrome once a week. Sign up for a gym. Movement activates the brain, concentrates the thought process and triggers the production of hormones of joy, and also improves health.

Surround yourself with people who make you better

If you have been trying to love yourself for a long time, and despite all your attempts, it doesn’t work out well for you, then look around, maybe your environment is bothering you? Or is it simply not there?

Finding new friends is always a good idea, but finding new friends who will teach you new things and give you positive emotions is vital to understanding and loving yourself. It is not always worth looking for friendship, go to seminars and courses, attend interesting events and listen to lecturers talking about the positive aspects of life. This will help you feel a little more alive and take your thoughts in a new direction.

Step outside your comfort zone

Think about what is stopping you from loving yourself right now, especially if, in principle, everything suits you and you have achieved a lot, but you don’t feel much love for yourself. Maybe you have been on your own all your life, solving all problems on your own and always taking full responsibility, but sometimes you wanted to be a little girl and ride a swing while someone was cooking dinner at home? Or vice versa, do people around you consider you lack of initiative, and you always wanted to try yourself as a leader?

Try to put yourself in a slightly different position. Slightly change the vector of your activity, open your fists or, conversely, stand on your feet. This will not only shake you up, but also make you understand what you really lack in order to achieve harmony with yourself.

Be yourself for yourself

If you have long wanted to change something in yourself, your appearance, behavior, thinking, why not do it. Just first ask yourself the question: why do you want to do this? Because you yourself want to, or because you think that this way others will like you more?

Stop changing for others, change for yourself if you feel it is necessary. The whole world around will not notice if you change something in yourself. And if he notices, he is unlikely to fully appreciate it. Only one person will be grateful to you for this - you yourself.

Conclusion

Loving someone is much easier than loving yourself. Individually, all methods seem simple, but together they make up a long, complex and responsible process of working on oneself.

Perhaps many people fail to love themselves simply because it seems very difficult. However, everything becomes much easier if you understand a simple thing: with every step taken towards the desired inner harmony, going becomes much easier.

Loving yourself is very important, but not every woman is given this art as easily as we would like. Where do many problems come from? In fact, from the depths of your own consciousness - there is a source. We ourselves put taboos, clichés, underestimate ourselves, find fault, come up with possible best options for past events, think a lot about the bad, consider ourselves unworthy of something. How to deal with the problem and learn to love yourself first?

External data - looking for advantages

No ugly women! Even if you were told otherwise, remember that bad things are remembered better. There are many jokes on this subject. For example, this: "He can tell her a hundred times that she is beautiful, but she will only remember that he hinted at her fullness." This is the whole point. Many do not know how to focus on the good, but only remember the bad.

How to work on yourself:

Remember the compliments you received. If you do not communicate with people much, upload to any group of your favorite social network beautiful photo. You will write something good!

· Reward yourself. In every little thing you need to praise yourself beloved. Do it mentally or out loud - it doesn't matter, start from the circumstances.

· Do not be lazy. Beautiful hair, a clean body, a neat manicure - this gives self-confidence. You will fall in love with the very beauty that you will see every day in the mirror.

Opinion of others

Have you ever thought about how hard life is when you try to take into account the opinions of others? Remind yourself every time: “I live for myself!”. The main thing is not to disturb or harm anyone, and everything else is just stereotypes. Love your life and everyone who is important in it. There will always be those who want to criticize you, even if you become Miss World.

Take criticism easier, remember praise, praise other people. Criticism should be taken as an opinion from the outside. You can take a closer look at it and draw conclusions, but you don’t need to take its essence as a template.

When you learn to listen, first of all, to your inner voice, you will become happier. And you will not have time to look back, how to love yourself.

Think positive, dream

Have you thought about the composition of your thoughts? Most of us are used to immersing ourselves in problems, feeling sorry for ourselves, twisting the same unfortunate situation dozens of times in our thoughts. And this is a big mistake!

Everyone has failures. You need to draw conclusions, but not go in cycles. Life goes on! You are beautiful, full of strength, beauty and ... that same love for yourself.

Think more about the good, try to catch yourself in the negative and drive it away. Dream more, make plans, goals. Learn to have fun, even if you feel lonely today.

Remember - you are beautiful, even despite the flaws! It remains only to emphasize this beauty. And when you love yourself, others will change their attitude towards you too.