How to control your anger? How to control anger and emotions: features, effective methods and recommendations.

Each person B. modern world have to regularly encounter a negative and stressful situations. Not everyone manages to restrain aggression and hide their discontent. There is nothing surprising in this, because this is the natural reaction of the body. We will help you to learn how to control your anger and aggression, and give real practical advice.

The nature of the appearance of anger and aggression

Aggressiveness is a natural and inalienable property of every living organism, including a person. Some people show excessive aggression, and for this there are many provoking factors. For example, at a certain age (early or teenage) aggressive actions are the norm. Moreover, emotions that may express adolescents contribute to the establishment of their autonomy and independence. The lack of manifestations of aggression in such a period may indicate violations in development.

Experts confirm that aggression is a model of behavior, and not a kind of emotion. Human aggressiveness implies a tendency to cause physical or moral harm to other persons. To some extent she is found in all people, both in children and adults. The child has anger and irritation due to inconsected moral norms or infallible arbitrariness of behavior.

The problem is that improper education may contribute to the deterioration of the situation, as a result of which the characteristics of the character will enaches and turn into a line of behavior. She, in turn, will deliver a lot of considerable problems in adulthood: flashes of anger, the inability to control their emotions, constant attacks of anger without a visible cause, acute reaction to stimuli, etc.

Experts have not yet found out all the causes of manifestation of anger and aggression by people. They define several categories that determine such behavior:

needs;
congenital deposits;
social conditions;
emotional or cognitive processes.

At the same time, experts share the state of aggression into two types:

laid genetic level - constructive;
peculiar to a specific person - destructive.

It should be noted that constructive is also divided into subgroups - this is a pseudoagression (actions without evil intentions that can cause damage) and defensive.

Do you need to control negative emotions?

Anger and aggression is quite natural features of a person. At first glance, there is nothing bad in them, except when aggression leads to harm to others or even crimes. Despite this, anger and anger are able to spoil relations with loved ones, friends or colleagues. Nowadays normal people Do not prove physical superiority, beating another person. Insults with words, too, not the best option is a bad tone and a sign of uneducation.

Imagine that your neighbor on the ladder does not know how to restrain the anger, and aggressive behavior for it is the norm. He is constantly unhappy and disappears on you and other tenants, its outbreaks of aggression are not controlled. At the same time, the more often he does it, the more he wants to continue. Unknowingly, he creates situations that strain other people and give him pleasure. Agree, live with such a person side by side is not so nice.

Normal people are always distinguished from those who cannot learn to control the anger. Society of U. aggressive people Also formed from unbalanced persons, which also does not lead to anything good.

Think about all this, and decide whether to control the anger? Most likely, the answer is definitely an affirmative, so then we will help you to figure out how to control anger and irritability, cope with an exclusion of anger, as well as give advice to the psychologist.

Is it possible to show aggression, no one is offended?

How to restrain anger and aggression we still find out below, but first consider the other important question - Is it possible to show aggression without harm to others? Realize that negative emotions will definitely find a way out, as they, like energy, cannot dispel. It is more correct to use one of the ways to control anger, and then gently express emotions. For example, you can convey a calmly vote to the interlocutor, what exactly you were angry in his actions or words. And be sure to argue.

If you do everything right, observing calm, the interlocutor will surely hear you and understand, whether your husband / wife, boss, displeased taxi driver or saleswoman in the store. Moreover, this approach will allow you to figure out how others it is possible to create situations in which you begin to be angry. Such self-analysis will help learn to avoid it.

How to restrain aggression?

We now turn to the advice of psychologists who will help you learn how to restrain the anger and manage negative emotions:

Feeling that you began to annoy anything, try to remove from it. It is better to do this physically, that is, just go away and avoid an unpleasant situation, but you also need to learn how to do it morally: think about something peaceful and soothing you.
If you are annoyed and trying to pour out a person, try to present yourself in its place. Understand the motives of his behavior. You may agree with his arguments, and this will help you to keep anger.
Learn to quietly respond to any situations. Imagine yourself the surface of the water or a stone wall that do not react to anything, but only reflect the negative emotions and provocations of others.
Be tolerant of other shortcomings. All of us they have and everyone has the right to make a mistake.
Never shout. If you notice that you started raising the voice, take a deep breath, and get rid of the negative on the exhale. Do it several times and continue the conversation with a calm voice.
If you understand that you are covered by uncontrollable anger and handle it will not work with anger, make a breather. Exclude others, kide alone with you or count to 10 in your mind.
Share with someone experiences to get support or tips from close man.

How to learn how to manage anger?

Control over negative emotions and keeping its feelings is a difficult thing to learn. There are effective and verified intake management techniques:

Sports are an excellent means of dealing with stress. Physical exertion is eliminated from accumulating energy, which is used in favorable purposes.
Relaxation. The body needs a full-fledged vacation. An important component is a healthy dream.

The wrong person becomes predictable irritable and this is just one of. We must try to bed for 7-9 hours a day.

3. Meditation. You can exercise in meditation techniques that will help to gain balance and inner peace.

4. Reset voltage. You need to learn to get rid of it, but each person has its own way. Everything is suitable: Communication with loved ones, movies, music, vacation in nature, walks, etc.

5. Life values. It is important to deal with the causes of your irritation and anger, revising value and probably changing the views on certain things. It will help you restrain, and others will not be able to bring you out of themselves.

Do not forget to respect the opinions of other people. Everyone has the right to different actions and expression of emotions. When someone begins to be angry and nervous, showing discontent, remember that the world does not spin around you.

Methods for expressing aggression

As already mentioned, all emotions find a way out, sooner or later. In the unpleasant situation, you keep your anger, but the energy will need to spill. If you leave anger, sadness and fear inside yourself, it will destroy you from the inside. Over the years, this will lead to depressions and even serious diseases. You can avoid these consequences, but for this you need to learn how to express emotions.

Each person finds a suitable way for himself. One of the best is a sport - running, struggle, fitness, dancing or anything else. This lesson should enjoy and help improve certain skills - creative or physical. If the sport is not suitable for you, you can simply beat the pear or pillows. Some helps soothing hobbies, such as knitting or drawing.

You can choose a more extraordinary option - shove in all the throat, finding a suitable place: closed machine, forest, field. Someone helps cry, so do not hold back if you want to cry. The main thing is to do it where no one will see your weakness!

In general, each person has its own approach to emissions of emotions that cause anger and aggression. Feeling the need to throw them out, be sure to do it with one of the appropriate ways, and never make a negative in yourself!

In this article you will get 6 simple ways From a psychologist how to restrain anger and aggression. But if emotions constantly hold back, sooner or later they can pour into the disease or depression. Therefore, at the end of the article, you will learn how to safely show aggression, not offended by the interlocutor.

How to restrain anger and aggression - 6 ways

Sometimes in life we \u200b\u200bface a situation in which for one or another you do not allow yourself to be aggression. Or let me, but then regret it. For example, we are angry with the head or client, but we cannot pour this anger on it, because then we risk to lose work. Mom may be angry with a child, and her husband is on his wife. If we are expensive to this relationship, it is better not to show verbal or, especially, physical aggression, and try to stop. So how to cope with aggression? I present to your attention six ways to restrain anger and aggression:

Method # 1: Time Out

Take a timeout. If the aggression arose with you as a result of a conversation with the client by phone - just exit after the conversation, ventilate, think about something pleasant, pour yourself tea, and your brain will immediately calm down and let go of the situation. In case the aggression occurred on the basis, such as a home conflict, can also be received. Warn the interlocutor that you need to go out, and returning, you will be able to calmly and diminish the conversation.

Method # 2: Change places

Put yourself in your opponent's place. At that very moment when anger seems to fill your whole body and seeks to break out, mentally change to it in places. Stand mentally in his place and answer your questions: why did he say so? What does he feel at this moment? Maybe he is also angry or offended? Or simply did not understand me? Or maybe I need to convey my thought more clearly? This method will help you calm down. In addition, you can likely look at the situation from another point of view and can resolve the resulting conflict.

If you are worried about conflicts with husband or wife, read this. It is described in detail about how to quarrel to establish relationships.

Method # 3: Breathe

Breathe abdomen. At the moment when the rage breaks down you and it seems that the head is about to explode, pay attention to your breath. You noticed how do you breathe? Make some slow breaths and exhale. Breathe abdomen. It pacifies your body and satisfies your brain with oxygen. Head immediately thanks you to your calm.

Sit or better go to your back in a quiet atmosphere, where no one will disturb you. Put the right hand in the navel area, and the left - on the chest. Breathe so that only rose right hand. You can also put a small book on the stomach and follow the way it rises. Breathe deep and slowly, stomach, watch your breath. Try slowing down your thoughts. Think only about your breath. "Now I inhale, my lungs are filled with air, oxygen comes into all organs ..."

This technique is also called a diaphragm or abdominal breathing. In addition to aggression, it helps to cope with panic attacks, fear and alarms. Read more about this in this.

If you fulfill this technique daily - aggression gradually once and will leave your life forever.

Method # 4: Visualization

At the time when an aggressive state rolls on you, imagine yourself in a safe place. Recall the place where you were good and carefree. It can be the shore of the sea or a river or a pleasant memories of how you sat with friends in a cafe. Imagine that you are there now.

If you do not greatly affect the place, you can simply imagine yourself next to a person with whom you always feel good and calm. Imagine everything in detail: how are you are dressed, what are you doing, what is the situation around. Returning to reality, your brain will release aggression.

Method # 5: Logic

Turn on logic. Aggression, like all emotions, is born in the right hemisphere of the brain. The left hemisphere is responsible for logic. If you enable logic and try to analyze the situation, left hemisphere Activates, and the work of the right will slow down. The brain will release an emotion of anger, and you calm down. Everything else, the analysis of the situation is likely to allow you to resolve it.

Method # 6: perfect quarrel

Sorsear correctly. A quarrel is a great way to resolve the conflict. Ideally, the quarrel is always a starting point for the development of relationships. The correct quarrel looks like this.

First, she excludes the word "you". For a constructive conflict, it is necessary to fully focus on yourself. In psychology, this is called "you-message" (or statement) and "I-message". As a rule, people communicate exclusively with the help of "you-statements": "You've done everything wrong!" This is all because of you! "," You are to blame! " This approach is not faithful, this quarrel will not make any sense, except for the statement by interlocutors of insults and reproaches in relation to each other.

Start quarrel using "I-saying": "I didn't like that you ...", "I was upset, because ...", "I hurt me ...", "I do not please me that ..." These words are already filled with emotions emanating from you. The interlocutor already sees that he made you something unpleasant. If he has at least a little sympathize, he will definitely hear you.

The main essence of the right quarrel is that you are instead of shifting responsibility to another, concentrate on yourself. On their feelings, emotions, experiences related to this conflict. Your interlocutor will immediately feel it. Suddenly you stopped reproaching him and talk about their feelings. It will shift the corner of the conflict in the opposite direction and will quickly give their fruits.

The scheme of the right quarrel is:

You express the reason for your indignation using "I-Saying"
Attach your emotions
Prophons for the possible alternative behavior of the interlocutor

For example: "I did not like that you came so late. It upsets me. I would like you to think about me and the next time came on time. "

First of all, you calmly inform the reasons for your indignation before the interlocutor, express constructively that you did not suit you in this matter. Then it is convinced that they reported their thought. If you are sure that the interlocutor heard and understood everything right, then express him also calmly and measured, how would you like to eliminate your indignation. What you need to do to be as you want, and why. If you do it all with a support for feelings and emotions (you will say that you are unpleasant, and what would make you happy), the interlocutor will not only imbued with your feelings, but also will likely do everything to solve the situation favorable for you.

How to safely show aggression, not offended

I shared with you ways showing how to cope with aggression. I hope that you will not just read them, but will record yourself, remember or add a page in bookmarks and will apply these methods in difficult situations. But know that any unmanifested emotions always find a way out. That is, they inevitably fall into something. They, as energy, do not appear from nowhere and do not go to nowhere. That is why you need after applying one of the proposed methods of deterring aggression to say the interlocutor calmly and measured about what you were angry. To say what exactly you were unpleasant to hear or what actions of this person you did not like and why.

If these words are tranquilly and reasoned, with the help of "i-messages" and the use of the method of the right quarrel, they will understand and hear any, be it a taxi driver, boss, wife, child or seller in the store.

So you can determine for yourself what exactly hurts you. You will figure out how and when people create a situation for you, where you are starting to be angry, and you can adjust this process.

How to express aggression - 3 ways to exit emotions

So, any emotion always finds output. If you did not give her to go out, she will find a way out in your body. And such emotions, as anger, fear, sadness, if we restrain them, destroy the body from the inside. Over time, this can manifest itself in the form of diseases or depression.

If you do not need the consequences of suppressing aggression in the form of disease, read on how to give a safe emotion output.

Here, you kept your anger, and then, if possible, the words said to the interlocutor, which you did not like. Last step remained - give your aggression output in action, find a suitable way for you to express anger through the body reaction.

The best and guaranteed method is a sport. Running, fitness, struggle, dancing, jumping. It can also help the lesson that brings pleasure and at the same time works with the body - for example, drawing, modeling, knitting. You can beat pillows or a pear.

Squeeze loudly at your pleasure. In a closed car, in the forest, in the field, at the reservoir. Want to cry - pay.

One of my acquaintances periodically goes to the river, where there is no one, hits his fists on the chest and shouts loudly. This method is also perfect.

In general, find your favorite emotion output method and apply it regularly. You will feel relief, and your body thanks you.

Safety, your and other people are the main border of aggression expression. Everything that does not enter this border can and should be done. Do not let yourself suppress emotions. Let them be safe.

If you read this article not for fun, but in order to truly deal with you, pay attention to the article about.

Conclusion

So now you know much better how to restrain anger and aggression, as well as how to quarrel and give the output of aggression after a quarrel. Let's summarize. If you feel how aggression rolls on you, you need to go through three steps:

At the time of conflict, when you want to raise your voice or draw, apply one of the ways showing how to cope with aggression. For example, mentally stand up to the place of the interlocutor. Sweep yourself in a safe place or with a pleasant person. Where you are well. Take a timeout or turn on logic. And also - a diaphragmal breathing is perfect.

After that, calmly talk with the interlocutor using the method of the right quarrel. Apply "I-message". Forget the word "you", take responsibility for yourself. With the help of "i-Messages", say the reason for my indignation. Then add feelings or emotions that you have. And at the end - come up with alternative options for the behavior of the interlocutor in this situation. Tell him, no matter how nice you, if he did it like this, and not so. Do not doubt it works. If you do this technique correctly, calm and reasoned, your interlocutor will not only hear you, but also hears. It is likely that he will not do anymore. And if you will apply the method of the right quarrel always, then the surrounding people will begin to reflect you and imperceptibly for themselves will also begin to quarrel.
After applying any way to contain aggression, despite the way you managed to resolve the conflict, in the evening or the next day, be sure to exit your emotions, going to the gym or running into the forest, at the same time becoming more beautiful and happier.

And do not forget to download my book "How to love yourself." In it, I gathered the most working techniques, with the help of which I myself once raised my self-esteem, became confident and loved myself. This book will not only help you learn to defend your borders without showing aggression, but in general will make your life happier.

I wish you to learn how to restrain anger and aggression, as well as give them a safe way out. If you need individual assistance in working with your own aggression, you can contact me for psychological. We will analyze together where your aggression is taken from, and I will help you learn how to build with the surrounding safe and harmonious relationships.

You can sign up for consultation through in contact with, instagram. or . You can get acquainted with the cost of services and work scheme.

Subscribe to My. Instagram. and YouTube. channel. There are a lot of usefulness!

Take care of each other and be happy!
Your psychologist Lara Litvinova

Anger, anger, irritation is negative emotions that can worsen relations with people, and life in general. They are poorly controlled. Sometimes they justify their behavior and words. But this is a negative affective response of a person - that is, what lasts long, but it flows very violently (here is due to emotions). The stronger anger, the more powerful of his reaction. In such a state, a person often blues a face, and he is ready to literally disseminate everything around or at least a source of irritation.

In a rustling of anger, people often make thoughtless actions, for which they then have to pay in the literal sense - money or to deal with the disadvantage of close people or others. Anger and excessive angiveness most often plays a negative role in human life. Therefore, it is so important to learn to fight him.

Anger is emotion. Therefore, it is not entirely true to talk about how to overcome anger or stop angry. Rather, how learn to control your emotions generally. We'll have to fight not only with anger in particular, but rather with yourself in the manifestation of their emotions. By gaining control over his condition, it will immediately be much easier to live, it will be easier to build relationships with people and you can avoid many errors that are due to incontinence.

How to control anger?

First of all, it is necessary to understand for yourself that if the attacks of anger repeat often (more than once every two weeks), then this is a bad sign. It may indicate the presence of violations of the psyche of various nature, ranging from stress, neurosis and ending with mental illness. If you decide to fight anger, then it is good. This means that you have recognized the problem. Made one of the most difficult steps in changing themselves, decided to fight their character.

You can briefly allocate the main backgrounds of the appearance of anger:

Stress, psychological stress, fear. These factors can be in the complex, and can also act separate reasons. When a man is scared, he mobilizes all his internal reserves, anger will be as a way to protect against a threatening situation.
As an acceptable form of behavior. Almost everyone has surrounded by people who are shouting without a conscience to the surrounding, rude or even enter into a fight on the slightest occasion. In this case, anger acts as a dose of adrenaline and a way to receive pleasure - a person likes to make sure that he is much stronger than others, it gives him sadistic pleasure.
As a way to express excessive voltage. There are people who long do not show their negative emotions. Inside the tension grows. The moment comes when a person at once all "splashing" out.

If you understand that it is most often irritated and why it arises from a particular person to concrete situations, it will be easier to control his excessive angiveness and irritability. It is necessary to approach this problem more reasonably, with a minimum of emotions and subjective experiences. Only facts. You can prepare yourself in advance to what irritation may occur.

Can anger be the norm?

It can be a variant of a normal, adequate behavior situation. In the event that a person manifests it with danger (imaginary or valid) or it occurs at all, from excessive emotional stress. Excessive angiveness can not be normal in the philistine. Constant irritation is always bad. It is necessary to look for reasons first inside yourself. External factors - most often not reasons, but only predisposing to anger phenomena. Internal factors - fatigue, stress, disappointment, fear can also be with the factors for the manifestation of malice. How to cope with irritability and anger in this case? Think about yourself about your condition. More often to relax and relax. Sometimes it is useful to let go of the situation. Everything can be resolved by itself.

Anger is a normal human response to dissatisfaction with the needs, if it is expressed in social and acceptable forms and does not infringe against any rights. Anger comes at the moments when it is impossible to get something or something to achieve. Sometimes it is more expedient to reduce your requirements for others, and your needs to try to satisfy acceptable ways and doubt emotions.

Causes of anger

Psychology considers anger reaction from different points of view. Some authors in psychology believe that if a person can control his emotions, he will be able to solve many problems of developing his personality. Some, on the contrary, believe that the emotions are short-term reactions, then they do not require careful analysis. Perhaps if angiveness and anger subordinate to the mind, it will actually become easier to live. This is, on the one hand.

But on the other, a person can not be a robot. Moreover, emotions help to understand another person. Anger, like any other emotion, can play both a negative role in human life and positive. Often he acts as defensive reaction. Or, when a person takes a defensive position. When he already thinks little, how to control his anger or irritability. His thoughts are engaged in protection against surrounding or external circumstances. Especially, this applies to children.

Anger can be a signal for others, such as it is dangerous to approach. In fact, the functions can be a lot. But for the man itself, the evils and irritability are rather negative impact on the general state. Anger deplets the psyche, makes it more vulnerable. Therefore, it is so important to know how to curb your anger and evilness. A person begins to be angry and annoyed when something goes not at all as he has conceived or wanted.

The main reason is the inability (reluctance) to restrain at a particular moment. Not the circumstances that this moment They cause irritation, namely the inability of a person for concrete circumstances is not angry and not angry.

How to get rid of anger?

Immediately it is worth noting that it is necessary to fight with one-time manifestations, you need to deal with the inner causes of anger and try to eliminate them. If you notice that the attacks of anger began to occur relatively recently, this is a clear sign internal stress. You need to work with it. Observe yourself, for starters. Why are you so violently express your negative emotions. How to overcome anger? Immediately note that it is completely unreal from this. People cannot constantly keep themselves in hard frames. Negative emotions sometimes need to be exercised.

If anger is a norm for you, that is, this is a permanent satellite, and all the acquaintances have already become accustomed that in the case of which you are tight and a mood, then it is already harder. The anger turned into a line of character, and it will have to fight not with anger, but with his evilness.

In the event that anger is only a one-time way to "reset" the voltage, it rarely occurs, there is no particular reason for concern. If, of course, people do not suffer from this too much.

Ways to fight anger:

Open verbal expression. Examples: "I am so angry now, ready to nice everyone," I'm terribly angry with this situation, I don't know how to influence it, "I am annoyed when people do it. Why do they do that? ". Nothing terrible, even if these phrases appear on elevated colors. The main thing is not to overdo it.
Physical exercise. In the case when you feel that anger is slowly mastering you, try to find a way for intense, short-term exercise - squats, push-ups, running, lifting and dragging heavy items. It is enough for 3-5 minutes, anger will retreat. There is even fast walking. After that, you can express your indignation more civilized.
Outcasting (internal training). Special respiratory gymnastics or at least just deep breaths and exhalations. The account is about yourself, and if there is an opportunity, it will be even the best way to loud. Not necessarily sequence. You need to "download" the brain by any mathematical operations, even be difficult. It will be only a plus and help to restrain.
You can go eat or drink tea. The food has a soothing effect. Gives energy. And tasty food can remove irritation. Chocolate, pastries, candy. Sweet dated good mood. Let and for a while. But this time will be enough for the negative to go. It's hard to be evil all the time.

Just need to remember that these methods can help if there are no serious internal problems. Anxiety, fears, excitement only provoke outbreaks of wrath and aggression. It would be naive to think that with the attacks of anger you can cope easily and simply. This process can stretch over long months. All difficulties must be overcome gradually. Especially if it became a style of behavior. Then uncontrollable flashes Anger is already turning into rudeness and incontinence, in the inability to own themselves.

If in lately You have become more likely to catch yourself on what you have to be angry with others, and, most importantly, without a good reason, it's time for you to learn how to take your emotions under control. It is very important because anger and anger - emotions are extremely negative, they can deliver a lot of trouble.

Why it is important to control yourself

It is impossible to get rid of negative emotions completely, and do not need to do this. This can be associated with the fact that when it is suppressed by negative gusts, a person pours them deep into themselves. Over time, this causes many problems, serious health problems happen in particularly launched cases.

It is important to learn how to control the outbreaks of anger or anger, it is quite forces. First of all, it is worth aware that anger and anger are the reaction of the psyche to their own impotence. Like a child who has a toy, everyone experiences anger when he does not get expected. It may concern the attention of the spouse, obedience of children, approval at work. The acute attack of anger usually causes the awareness of injustice, the impossibility of meeting their needs. On the logical level, a person can understand that it is meaningless and stupid to be angry, but nothing can be done about it. Often anger on circumstances or surrounding can be burdened by the consciousness of one's own guilt.

Allow yourself to get angry

Give yourself the right to fully negative feelings, because, in the end, you have the right to be angry, you are not a robot, and when you are offended or in life something goes wrong, emotions come to revenue.

Try to replace an anger object

In other words, instead of throwing with fists on a loved one, silent the pillow from the heart. By the way, any physical exercise by force to remove the initial splash of aggression. Perform a few squats, squeeze from the floor or jump in one place.

Need to find a safe way out

It is worth remembering that, as a rule, an acute flash of anger continues no more than fifteen minutes. Your task is to try not to block firewood during this time. Respiratory exercises can help well: the performance of deep breaths and exhale will help cope with anger. It has long been tested the way to calculate in the mind of twenty, and only then express your feelings out loud.

Try to delay your decision

Do not take in any case significant solutions in anger. You need to digest the situation and only the next day to give a solution. Under the rule of anger, people often clap the door, tearing relationships with expensive people.

Instruction

Try to solve the problem that causes anger in you. Perhaps you are outraged by an unfair attitude. And you feel that soon we will begin to throw a joke. Do not let go of the situation. Summate to stand up for yourself and protect your opinion. Then there will be no reason for anger. This method is good, logical, but not always applicable. There are situations when it is necessary to extinguish negative emotions, but their reason cannot be quickly eliminated.

Follow the words. Crossing, insults and an increased tone can be the beginning of this scandal. A banal way when you need to count to ten before opening your mouth in a fury attack, works. Even for such short term Inaction Mind begins to take over negative emotions.

Find the exit accumulated unpleasant feelings. Unscake while cleaning or in the gym. Draw your offshore in a caricature style, imagine it in an unsightly, funny situation.

Take away from their experiences. In the sharp moment, when your emotions are about ready to boil, switch to the essence of the problem. Put yourself in place of a person who caresses your negative, polnect into the content of its phrases. The manifestation of empathy will help you first understand that you were wrong, and then calm down.

Learn to forgive. Confidential attitude towards other people's mistakes, love for others and faith in people will help you avoid flashes of anger. If you are in every person you will see a threat, enemy, negative emotions will not be avoided.

Watch your health. Reducing the vital tone, the loss of energy and the resources of the body, reduce your ability to resist negative emotions to almost "no". At the same time, good health and health will help you create immunity against outbreaks and rage.

Overloaded working day, fatigue, terrible mood cause irritation, which with the slightest incorrect movement or word turns into an unmanaged anger. And all diseases - from nerves! To stay healthy and cheerful, learn how to manage negative emotions.

Instruction

First of all, try to realize your anger at the physical level (shiver, redness, compressed teeth). It begins with irritation with which it can cope easier. At this point, stop, mentally weighing the reason of the quarrel. Imagine that you lose, if you do not stop. The desire to argue usually disappears.

Focus and hold down tears, words and reproaches. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Consider the breaths and exhalations, at least up to 40. As a rule, at this stage, the desire to continue the dispute passes. Now you can safely discuss the situation. Or pronounce the alphabet, you can even out loud. Most likely, the interlocutor, noticing your efforts, will be able to restrain.

When you feel that you are covered - take a break. Realize that you are already annoyed. At this moment, do not convince others that everything is good, do not hide your feelings. But do not express them aggressively. Try to speak calmly and in fact.

Analyze the situation and your emotions. You may have flared in vain. Stand over the offender, try to look at yourself from the side. It is likely that you did not want to offend you. For example, you were cut on the road. Or maybe he was in a hurry to hospital or just you go too slowly?

Do not silent, do not accumulate resentment. Otherwise, the day will come when you will not be able to keep it, including you yourself. Speak out. Explain to her husband, mom or children, what exactly annoys you. The main thing, say calmly, carefully choosing words.