It is contraindicated to people suspicious to him. What is hypersensitivity and how to live with it

"Extremely sensitive individuals" that create more stress

Highly sensitive people have special features that distinguish them from others from ordinary people. It can be a positive point, but he also has its drawbacks. That's what you need to know about what is a highly sensitive person or have a deal with him.

Why is a sensitive person - this is because his nervous organization is such.
What is high sensitive man?

Have you ever said that you are "too sensitive" or that you "should not think so much", especially people who consider you too insensitive or who may have to think so about you?

You can be what is known as "a very sensitive person"

In more intuitive types of such a person, they are sometimes called "emphat", and on more clinical types it is sometimes called sensory sensitivity to information processing. In the past, people could call you "highly sensitive" or "too sensitive" and considered this circumstance negative, but it is not necessarily negative, since this is a person's trait that brings both strengths and challenges to yourself or others.

Yes, you can be too easy insulted by people who do not want any harm or try to be kind. In the same way, you can excessively respond to daily stressors or problems of relationships, especially if you become emotionally aggressive as an answer. However, to be a very sensitive person does not necessarily mean that you are negative motives in people when they are actually no; As a sensitive person, you can understand people more easily, while you can be more deeply affected by their negative experiences, which is not necessarily weakness.

If you know how to manage the unique features of a sensitive person, you can make this person stronger and less difficult to life. To do this, you should understand what you are dealing with, regardless of whether you read this article for yourself or trying to build a deeper understanding of someone in your life who can be very sensitive.

How common is highly sensitive people?

Psychologists Elaine Aron and Arthur Aron, husband and wife who came up with the term "highly sensitive people" and in the 1990s this type of people was widely studied and published by the Materials of this topic. They found that highly sensitive people make up from about 15 to 20 percent of the population as a whole, so they are not so rare, as they can sometimes feel.

Nevertheless, it is a less common type of people, and our society is usually built around people who are noticed a little less and are addressed slightly less deeply. Thus, it helps to recognize differences and make adjustments to minimize that may occur on more high levels For HSP. This is true for those who recognize themselves very sensitive, as well as those who have someone who they cares, who are more sensitive than an ordinary person.

The most sensitive person

How to determine a highly sensitive person?

High sensitivity applies to several different categories. It is important to remember that being a sensitive person does not mean that you have a diagnosed state or something like that; This is the personality feature that includes an increased responsiveness of both positive and negative influences. There are several signs or characteristics common to sensitive people. According to researchers who identified this character line, this is what to look for.

1. Being under the influence of sensory stimuli, such as noisy crowds, bright lights or uncomfortable clothing, feel not cozy.
2. Feeling of the need to avoid cruel movies or television show, because they feel too tense and leave in an unstable state
3. Feeling not just preferences, but the need for rest, especially when you have busy days; Need to visit a dark, quiet room
4. There are deeply touched beauty, expressed in art, nature or human spirit, and sometimes even in good commercial performance
5. Have rich and complex internal life, full of deep thoughts and strong feelings going with her

For a more thorough or "official" identification, there is a personality questionnaire developed by these researchers to help people identify themselves as a sensitive person who is known as the arons of a high-sensitive questionnaire and is available on their website.

How sensitive people experience stress

It is not surprising that highly sensitive people tend to experience more stress from things that many call stressful situations, plus a few things that can "roll from the back" of other people and which they do not consider how, at all. Social stress, which is perceived by the majority of people, of course, compared to other types of stress, may be particularly burdensome for those who can perceive various ways of contacting, not as others. The behavior of people leading to errors and conflicts can be perceived too "close to the heart" causing hostility or tension, while others may not notice these moments at all.

Here are some concrete things that can be significantly stressful for highly sensitive people:

1. Large employment: Not everyone loves to be too busy, but some people flourish from excitement and driving a busy life. Sensitive, on the other hand, feel overloaded and "crack" when they have too much work in a short time, even if they technically have enough time to do everything, strain, if they are in a hurry. The need to juggle uncertainty may not be able to force it all to work, and the pressure of such situations makes them feel in high degree Pressing.
2. Expectations from others: Highly sensitive people tend to perceive the needs and feelings of others. They do not like to upset people. Learning to say "no" is the challenge and necessity for such people, because they can feel the crushed requirements of others, especially because they can feel the disappointment of their friends. If they have to say "no", but can not do what is expected from them very worried. They tend to be their own worst critics and can feel responsible for the happiness of others or at least sharply realize when negative emotions are floating around.
3. Conflicts: As already mentioned, they may be more susceptible to conflict, because they can be better aware of when problems arise in relationships, including when someone just "turns off" from someone, and Who may not report that there is a problem.
4. They may be subject to social comparison stress. They can feel the negative feelings of another person, as well as their own feelings, and they may experience them stronger and deeper than others. They can better understand the possibility of improving the situation, and the disorder will cover them stronger when potentially good results are inferior to more negative results during the deteriorating conflict. They can also be more upset when they understand that the relationship is completed, feeling that everything could be allowed, while someone else can feel that nothing can be done and goes out. Highly sensitive can feel the loss more acutely, as well as engage in the chewing of all this.
5. Tolerance: Life situations relate to those daily energy leaks that we have and are called "tolerance", these are things that create stress and are not strictly necessary. Distraction attention to such things can be more frustrating for a sensitive person who is trying to focus, for example, unpleasant odors in their home can be felt stronger than such a person and make relaxation for him in a messy house impossible. They are more easily surprised by surprises. When they hungry - "hungry" - they do not tolerate it badly. Thus, daily life stressors often cause more disappointment from highly sensitive people.
6. Personal failures: As already mentioned, sensitive people are their own worst critics. This means that they are more prone to buzz and insecurity. They can remember quite a long time if they make an awkward mistake, and feel more embarrassed than the middle person. They do not like when they look and evaluated when they are trying to challenge something, and they can even get confused from it, the stress is manifested. They are often perfectionists, but can also be aware that this stress is not inevitable and, as it affects them.
7. To be deeply immersed: The feeling of things more deeply has a positive side. Sensitive people tend to feel deeply touched by the beauty they see around themselves. They are, as we know, we were crying, looking through particularly touching videos about the puppies on YouTube, and can really feel the feelings of others as negative and positive. They deeply care about their friends and tend to form deep connections with necessary people. They really appreciate the beautiful wine, good food, beautiful song and many wonderful things in life at the level inaccessible to most people. They may feel more existential longing, but they can also feel more thanks for what they have in life, knowing that this is possible fleeting, and nothing is definite. Their minima may be lower, but their maxima may also be higher.

Stress assistance for highly sensitive

Most of the stress removal plan for a highly sensitive person may include isolation from too much stimuli. Put the barrier between you and sensory incentives that seem insurmountable.

Do not watch the movies that are upset. Stay away from people who deplete your positive energy, have difficult demands for you or make you feel bad. Learn to refuse the overwhelming requirements and feel in the order, and create a perimeter in your life. Adjust your home as a soothing environment and a "safe place" for yourself emotionally.

Create additional positive impressions in your life schedule to isolate yourself from additional stress with which you may encounter. And, above all, know what causes you stress, and learn to avoid such things.

Text: Grisha Program

Highly Sensitive People, or highly sensitive people Especially susceptible to the external stimulation, the emotions of others and in general details of the surrounding world. We tell who these are and how to understand whether you are one of them.

Who are highly sensitive people?

Highly Sensitive People (we will call them highly sensitive people), or HSP, or WFL are people who are more intensely react to the world. And positive, and negative information such people are more careful, so they can be stunned and overload external incentives - when they are too much or they are too intense. Such people pay a lot of attention to all sensations: tastes, touch, sounds and smells. They are especially sensitive to emotions, their own and others. The press calls them new introverts: about highly sensitive people they write a lot in latelyAlthough the phenomenon was given a definition in the mid-90s.

Who introduced this concept?

For the first time highly sensitive people allocated psychologist Elaine N. Aron
in his book "The Highly Sensitive Person", which was published in 1996. Aron lived in San Francisco and, together with her husband, Arthur began to study the WWL in 1991. Aron describes the WWL as those who have "increased sensitivity to stimulation" and who is more aware of the details and nuances and processes the information deeper, reflectively the others. " Aaron believed that Karl Jung, Emily Dickinson and Rainer Maria Rilke were highly sensitive people and that they generally "are usually poets, writers, teachers, doctors, scientists and philosophers." It is believed that 20% of the population of the Earth are highly sensitive people.

Why did they suddenly speak about them?

The term and book Aaron is not that lay in oblivion, no - other researchers wrote about the WWL, and they came out about them science articlesbut it is in last years Media paid special attention to them. The Huffington Post released the text about how highly sensitive people interact with the world, The Wall Street Journal wrote about the phenomenon, even Scientific American remembered the Aron and its ideas. IN scientific World Interest in them also rises: so, in Brussels, the first conference dedicated to high sensitivity was held. About the phenomenon of the WCHL goes documentary Under the name "Sensitive", in which, for example, starred the singer Alanis Morissette, who considers himself a highly sensitive person.

Why distinguish highly sensitive people if introverts already exist?

Because it is psychological - and neurobiological - the category of people at all other indicators. Aaron led the sensitivity scale out of 27 points to highlight the WWL; And, as in the case of introverts, it is not just a binary system, you are not just either a highly sensitive person or not, there is a gradation. If the introverts are primarily determined by their relations with other people, then highly sensitive people are generally determined by the relationship to the world. Nevertheless, as the introverts, the WWL can love privacy to give their brain to break from stimulation. For example, if you often cry in the cinema or strong smells annoy you, or you penetrate the emotions of other people in the most unexpected moments. And it is important to learn: because if you understand that you are a highly sensitive person, you can better arrange your life, for example try to work in quiet and relaxed places.

Vchl really exist?

Yes of course. They allocate many psychologists and neurobiologists. High sensitivity is devoted to hundreds of studies from brain scan to genetic analyzes. The study of the brain WCHL shows that their brain processes differ from the processes in the brain of the rest of the people: the WWL is more often experiencing empathy, carefully for their surrounding and better understand other people. The snag is that here, of course, there is a trap, as with introverts: after the word and the idea became popular, many, even those who do not apply to them with highly sensitive people. Everyone wants to consider yourself special, so I want to believe that we are deeper and thinner we understand the world around.

PHOTO Getty Images

"When I was in children's garden, the boy from my group dropped my favorite book from the balcony, "says 20-year-old Anna. "I remember that I was terribly crying - not because of the book, but from hate to this boy." Chief sign Hypersensitivity - strong emotions that may arise due to the most minor reasons.

Some of us just more acutely feel all that happens to them, and this is not necessarily bad. According to the counts of psychologist Elaine Aron (Elaine Aron), super-sensitive people (hypersensens) in society about 20%. This means that one or more of your friends, friends or loved ones, most likely belongs to their number.

That's what you need to remember, communicating with hypersensives. Elaine Airon is a psychologist, the author of the book "Super suspended nature. How to succeed in the insane world "(Azbuka-Attikus, 2014).

1. They often cry

Super sensitive people can cry when they are happy, sad or annoyed. This does not mean that they are bad. They are simply experiencing everything that happens with them very intensively, and tears help emotional discharge.

2. They do not necessarily introvert

The introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Airon discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people - extroverts. Often they need even more attention, because it is difficult for them to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience something like intoxication from impressions.

3. They are nervous when you need to make a decision

The ability to quickly and confidently make a decision - not the most strong damn hypersensive. Even when it concerns such banal things as the choice of cafes for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid to make the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and they will not like their satellite.

4. They react to the slightest changes

"If you are used to finishing messages with a smile, but this time put a point, be sure: we will definitely note that," says Anna. - And, probably, let's start nervous. " Hypersensessives, as a rule, react very sensitively to what is happening in their environment, and instantly notice when something goes wrong as usual.

5. They are always ready to listen

If you need a friendly shoulder, you can safely appeal to them. Hypersensers can support secular conversations, but it is best for them to the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure: they will not interrupt you, will not be distracted and change the topic.

6. They hate noise and loud sounds

The train at high speed, car beeps, not moderately sociable colleagues ... All this is not just annoying us - we suffer, as if every sound is hammer in the head. According to Elaine Airon, the whole thing in the reduced threshold of sensitivity, due to which any incentive is felt stronger.

7. Their workers habits are rather unusual

The perfect option is the work of the house or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. "Hypersensers know how to benefit from their ability to observe," says Elaine Airon. "They know how to think about ideas and then serve them so that they are seriously taken seriously." Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments makes excellent teammates (as long as they are not trying to impose responsibility for making major solutions).

8. They do not like to tickle their nerves

Horror or thriller film - not the most appropriate choice if you want to invite a hypersensive to the movies. The inclination to empathy in combination with the increased susceptibility of emotionally painted images can cause their shock.

9. They do not tolerate criticism

Avoiding everything that can cause too strong excitement, distinctive trait hypersensive. As a result, they try to do everything possible to make no feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.

10. They take everything close to heart

Communicating with hypersensives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they can love good jokes themselves and try to treat life with humor, but even a hint that there is something wrong with them, makes them nervous.

11. They are very sensitive to pain

Pain is also a kind of stimulation. It is not surprising that hypersensive perceive its sharper. Research Elaine Airon confirmed that ultra-sensitive people have a low pain threshold, and waiting for pain (for example, in a dental office) can make it feel even when nobody touches them.

12. They dream of deep relationships

Hypersensives are difficult to make new acquaintances. Stress from uncertainty, expectations of possible awkwardness, painful solidification of what the interlocutor thinks, all this tires them. Superimensitive people seek to find a reliable, sensitive partner with whom they could relax and who could completely trust.

13. They can not change it in themselves

Superxistence - not just a whim or lack of character. Elaine Airon discovered that the brain sites associated with Empathy and Knowledge, hypersesens are initiated stronger when they show photographs with traces of strong emotions. In other words, such behavior is biologically programmed.

If there is a hypersensitive person in your environment, try to show sensitivity to it. Most likely, he himself well understand his features, therefore behaves carefully and warn. But he is waiting for understanding and from you.

Super sensitivity

Hyperresthesia significantly expands the perception of the world and exacerbates sensitivity. Such people are super-sensitive to light, sound, heat, cold and, especially, to excessive excitation. Often they can scream with anything with this: "Yes, you turn off this TV! There is nothing to watch it! " Or: "Can someone close the window?"

Due to the subtleties of feelings, a person with hyperesthesia catches a lot of details, as a rule, not noticeable for others. In their eyes, it is often possible to notice tears of death, they quickly annoy stressful situations And with the slightest injustice, they rush into battle. They are sensitive to the tone, words, expression of the face and gestures of the speaker. Because of this, they need clarifications. In their understanding, one word is not always synonymous, because everyone has their own shades. That is why they so often come up to words.

People with hyperesthesia are very touchy, they are easy to hurt any criticism, reproach, ridicule, and, if the interlocutor has some reverse idea, they definitely guess it.

It is very unpleasant when you get a lot of information and at the same time encounter on a misunderstanding of loved ones that did not notice this. "Yes, no, you all invent!" - The most common and offensive phrase, which is often heard superffective, barely begin to share with someone their impressions.

The level of their interests, quality of attention and the ability to feel the rustic surrounding world are directly proportional to their hyperesthesia.

In one interview, Amelie Notomb explained the intrigued journalist that she feels guilty for every catastrophe occurring in the world. "As soon as an earthquake, war or hunger, I have the impression that this is because of me that there is also my wines."

That is, any information deeply touches people with a superffective mind, because they feel part of the existing world. Like Amelie Notomb, superffective often take responsibility for everything bad what is happening in the world, and also focus their passivity. As we learn later, the thoughts of superffective are managed by the right hemisphere. It is known that right hemisphere Responsible for emotions and feelings. You can even say that all the information before getting into the brain, passes through the soul. And if it is so, it is almost impossible to remain rational and cold. Emotions cover hypersensitive people as a sudden storm. Their mood is constantly changing, they seem to carry on the American roller trees: they are overwhelmed by the attacks of anger and rage, then a feeling of concern arises, then suddenly rolls depression. But in the same way they may encourage, take off on the wave of Euphoria and feel unraded to joy.

Such high-sensitivity generates many problems. To the feeling of self-helplessness, when it is necessary to control the situation, a misunderstanding of your own mechanisms and disapproval by the outside are added. Because in our society of sensitive and emotional people often consider weak, immature and impulsive, and, consequently, naive, stupid and reckless. Psychology immediately hung a label on them, calling "people in the border state."

If you belong to this group of people sensitive and emotional, then you know all this! The surrounding constantly read you morality and grumble, like on small children: "It's just stupid to cry or indignant because of such nonsense. No need to take everything to heart. We must be flexible. " In general, if you listen to these notations, criticism and advice, without the end of the pouring on hypersensitive people, you might think that in any life situation It is necessary to remain indifferent, indifferent and insensitive. So, this is the only solution to the problem?

More recently, it was also considered. Only rational thinking, logic and inconsistency were taken as correct and reasonable. Emotions were considered to be our enemies: they are confused and interfere with make the right decision. Fortunately, another opinion has recently appeared: we began to notice that emotions occupy an important place in the process of thinking and decision. Now, to designate this emotional mind, it is customary to use the term ek (emotional coefficient). This ek shows the ability of an individual to control their impulses, individual motivation, empathy and the ability to find mutual understanding with other people. Ultra-efficient has a huge emotional potential, he does not just fill them, but overflows, and they do not know how to use it.

Of course, ultra-sensitive people who are constantly experiencing convicts listening to criticism and forced to be ashamed of themselves, the most unfavorable opinion itself has developed. Meanwhile, we will try to imagine the world devoid of this ultra-sensitivity. No creativity, nor a gram of empathy, nor the shadow of humor. Population, rational and able to exercise self-control, lives without the slightest warm human feelings. What will happen to mankind, which is not able to indignant, rebel and, most importantly, fall into enthusiasm, even if stupid, but so infectious? Superxistence is a real shadow power. Superxistence is an integral part of everything. If you are super-sensitive, it is certainly benevolent, altruistic and very cordial with those who communicate with. But in relation to yourself you are demanding and at any moment ready to go to the opponent and laugh at yourself. The strength of your mind is openness, curiosity, sense of humor and simpleness, living and creative. And finally, your sense of justice, direct, integrity and sincerity is not equal. The sooner you take ourselves as it is, the better you will use this incredible sensitivity. Because the key to the effective use of your own ek is knowledge of yourself. As you will comprehend yourself, you will understand and humble with your emotional storms. Your emotions will become your friends and guides.

This text is a familiarization fragment.

Superxistentness is called excessive psychological vulnerability. It is expressed in high impressionability, anxiety, high susceptibility to any sensations. For a long time, such people were considered introverts, however modern research They proved that among the super-sensitive people of introverts only 70%, the remaining 30% are extroverts.

What other qualities are inherent in such people? "The nervous system of supersensitive personalities is distinguished by special sensitivity, - explains Ils Sand., Danish writer, psychotherapist and the author of bestseller "close to heart. How to live if you are too sensitive." - We notify many nuances and deeper than everyone else, analyze them. We have a rich fantasy and live imagination. Thanks to them active work Our "hard disk" is overwhelmed faster, and we are overexcited. There is nothing terrible in this, but if you are highly superimensive, then in the situation of intensive communication, feel the overabundance of information earlier than ordinary peoplethat will cause the desire to clicter and leave. "

However, these features, according to many psychologists, are able to enrich the lives of hypersensitive people. "The reason for the increased excitability lies in our too sensitive nervous system, but thanks to her we are able to experience genuine joy," notes Ils Sand.

It is super-sensitive that makes us more creative, responsible, ready and attentive to others (that those without a doubt appreciate).

True, this medal also has a reverse side. "Super sensitive expects from other as sensitivity, which they themselves show, but in vain - most people are absolutely indifferent to the feelings of others. And it is better to be ready for this, something at once come to horror, "- reminds of Helce Sand.

Too sensitive people: how to make life easier

The first and most importantly, what needs to be done, according to the author of the book, this recognize that you are different from the rest And stop counting your characteristics of something bad.

The second important step - make one's way . As Ilsa Sand notes, very sensitive people are often distinguished by overestimated standards in relation to themselves and understated self-esteem. " High standards It is necessary to strictly monitor, otherwise the likelihood of mental overvoltage is large. It is necessary to focus on their own life principles and launch the process of grampics. The rest is a matter of practice, "Elsa Sand believes. "The feeling that you can remain yourself and are not obliged to exercise excessive help, will have a positive effect on your pride."

* Find a lesson in the shower And returned to it regularly. "Go for a walk and admire nature, beat your senses, giving yourself a bouquet of fragrant colors, listen to good music, start keeping a diary, writing poems or prose, spend time with those who are really expensive to you," Ils Sand writes.

* Learn to say "no". In the absence of this skill, you will constantly suffer from overloads and overwork. Do not worry: politely formulated failure is hardly offended by someone.

* Do not desire the impossible. "Maybe you have been conning yourself for many years in a row for the fact that you do not have enough strength on everything that others do. Or be angry with yourself and forcing to classes that overload your nervous system. This happens because you refuse to put up with the peculiarities of your personality and want to prove that the level of your abilities does not differ from the level of the abilities of the majority of others, "explains the Danish psychotherapist. - stop the climb of the skin Vaugh, proving others that you are as strong as they, let yourself be soft and sensitive, adjust your life exclusively for yourself and suddenly you will find that the condition of happiness is very different from the sensations of eternal chase familiarity and Fight. "

Admit your features and learn to live in accordance with them - this is perhaps the main step towards the world with me.