Highly sensitive people are new introverts. What is the name of a very sensitive person - is it bad
Highly sensitive people, or "new introverts," - this is the name for those who react more sharply to noise or fuss, quickly get tired of society and love solitude. These people have a subtle sense of the world and pay attention to the smallest details, so they often make wonderful poets, artists and writers. However, it is difficult for them to live among others: too often they have to make excuses for their fatigue and unsociability, criticism hurts too much, too much energy is spent on empathy, and also on meeting the standards accepted in society.
Ilse Sand, a Danish writer and certified psychotherapist, who has learned from her own experience all the hardships and joys of life for highly sensitive people, tells how new introverts can finally stop trying to rebuild themselves and start living for their own pleasure in harmony with themselves and their feelings.
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Preface to the second edition
I am glad to present you the second edition of the book "Close to the Heart". To date, the fourth print run of the first edition has ended in stores - in other words, more than 5,000 copies have already been sold. The book has also been translated into Swedish language, and the test included in it is used by psychologists from all over Scandinavia.
I supplemented the second edition with a chapter on scientific research of this issue. In addition, I removed the speculations about anger, as they are fully reproduced in New Paths in the Labyrinth of Feelings, and I also included a number of reflections on other relevant topics in the new edition.
Foreword
This book is designed for people with hypersensitivity, too vulnerable psychologically. But it is written for people with a normal level of sensitivity, since life often brings them together with extremely impressionable personalities.
Throughout my life, I managed to visit a priest and a psychotherapist, thanks to which I met many people. Talking with especially sensitive of them, every time I understood that I would provide such people with real help, just by telling them about this feature of their nature.
For this reason, in my book, I decided to pay special attention to the stories of those patients and clients, thanks to which we understand what it means to be so vulnerable modern world... All of the patients I cite in this work are hypersensitive, but in some examples we can recognize ourselves.
More than once I have seen living evidence of how a person still managed to get along with his own sensitivity, gain courage and become himself, and therefore I sincerely hope that this book will help many other people in this.
In Chapter 1, I describe the character traits of sensitive natures. There are no identical people, and the hypersensitive are no exception. Perhaps, in some of the examples I have described, you will recognize yourself, while some others, on the contrary, will not be easy to understand. However, I hope that these tips will be useful to you, even if only a few of the features I have described seem familiar.
The chapters can be read separately, independently of each other, therefore, if you find some of them too easy or, conversely, too overloaded with theoretical calculations, I recommend just flipping through them without reading.
At the end of the book there is a test recently developed by Danish scientists, thanks to which you can determine the level of your own sensitivity. In addition, in this book you will find a list of activities that bring joy and peace to sensitive people. This list contains different kinds activities most suitable for both those who have enough strength and those who seek peace.
Introduction
Sensitivity, or, as psychologists call it, sensitivity, is a quality that can be considered both a punishment and a gift of fate. Personally, for many years, I considered it a hindrance, believing that in some situations it limits my actions. And she considered herself an introvert until she read about the personality traits of people with hypersensitivity.
During lectures at the university, I certainly took a break and told the students that I needed to be alone for a short time. The people around have always treated such requests with understanding. In addition, there were often people among the listeners who later informed me that sometimes they also feel the need to be alone. As a rule, they also thanked me for daring to admit this fact out loud.
Considering this peculiarity of my own a hindrance, I will nevertheless be immodest and say that it is compensated by many other qualities. I have a great imagination - for example, I always come up with and develop topics for a lecture course very quickly, thanks to which over the years I have found excellent speakers and lecturers.
Self-esteem in many hypersensitive individuals is underestimated. It seems to us that completely different behavioral types are valued in the world around us. Some sensitive people have confessed to me that they have gone out of their way all their lives to keep up with others and meet other people's expectations. And only after retirement they got the opportunity to live calmly and "slowly". Surely you, too, at times want to learn to live without anxiety, “grow stale” a little and experience the same feelings that most people around you experience. Loving yourself, so vulnerable and sensitive, is very difficult - especially when life requires completely opposite qualities from you. Perhaps you have already tried to re-educate yourself to please other people's requirements - and therefore now you need to learn again to love yourself for the real, the way you really are. The first step in this direction is to learn to evaluate not the quantity of your actions, but their quality. You may be able to do a lot less than others, but everything that you do is most likely done very well. In other words, you are clearly not a champion in long jump, but few people will be able to compete with you in terms of high jumps.
Comparing myself over the years with those around me, I constantly came to the conclusion that I did not hold out. This upset me terribly, and so I tried to avoid such thoughts, trying to focus on my positive qualities.
Perhaps you, too, are tormented by the realization that you do not know how much. But as soon as you start thinking about it, those around you immediately notice the flaw you have discovered. Perhaps you are not as efficient as others, but as soon as you notice this, your colleagues also do not remain indifferent: “How, are you going home? Already?" And after that, you completely forget that in a relatively short time spent at work, you managed to do as many things as a common person would not have changed it in a day.
I sincerely hope that this book will help sensitive individuals and simply vulnerable people to pay attention to the positive qualities that they possess.
Hypersensitivity most often enriches the personality ... This advantage can turn into a huge disadvantage only in the most difficult and unusual situations, when self-control collapses under the influence of out of control feelings.
It is a huge mistake to think of sensitivity as a painful component of the personality. If this were true, then about one fourth of the entire population of the earth could be called pathologically sick.
C.G. Jung, 1955
Chapter 1
Hypersensitivity - what is it?
Two different subspecies
Approximately one in five individuals is characterized by increased psychological vulnerability, and this applies not only to humans. Higher vertebrates can also be conditionally divided into two groups - sensitive and more coarse. The latter are distinguished by decisiveness and are more likely to take risks.
We humans share not only by gender, but also by belonging to one of the two psychological types... And the difference between these types is often more significant than between the sexes.
Oversensitivity is a phenomenon noticed by psychologists for a long time, but before it was called differently, for example, introversion. According to the American psychologist Elaine Ayron, who was the first to describe the characteristics of a hypersensitive personality, she herself believed for some time that introversion and hypersensitivity are one and the same, until she established that 30% hypersensitive people are extroverts.
“Oversensitive individuals are called constrained, anxious, or shy. These qualities can really manifest themselves if such people find themselves in an unfamiliar environment, not finding support and help from others. However, it should be noted that despite the difficulties that we experience in unfamiliar conditions, in a familiar and peaceful environment, we are happier than everyone else.
The fact that we are more difficult to endure unfamiliar surroundings and are happier in calm atmosphere, scientifically proven: according to the study, children whose reaction to difficulties was sharply negative (that is, hypersensitive children) were more likely to get sick and make mistakes when they were in a hostile environment. However, in their usual peaceful environment, the same children were sick less often than the others. "
Observation and thoughtfulness
The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by a special sensitivity. We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and a vivid imagination, thanks to which even the most insignificant events in the surrounding reality induce us to build hypotheses and draw conclusions. Thus, our internal "hard drive" fills up faster and we experience overexcitement.
From an overabundance of impressions, I personally have the feeling that more information simply will not fit into my head. When I communicate with unfamiliar people, this feeling may occur after about half an hour or an hour. I am quite capable of pulling myself together and maintaining a conversation, listening to the interlocutor and pretending that everything is as it should be. However, it takes a lot of energy for me, and afterwards I feel completely overwhelmed.
There is nothing wrong with overexcitation, but if you are hypersensitive, then in such a situation you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will cause the desire to withdraw and withdraw into yourself.
Perhaps, in the description below, you will recognize yourself. Eric (48) says that when he is overexcited, he tries to hide and be a little alone with himself, but secretly, because he is afraid that others will find him arrogant, uncommunicative or withdrawn:
During big family holidays - for example, at birthdays, I often lock myself in the closet, look in the mirror and wash my hands for a long time, thoroughly soaping them. But at this moment someone will certainly pull the handle of the toilet door, and I have to leave my quiet and peaceful refuge. One day I decided to hide behind a newspaper - I sat down in the corner, opened the newspaper, brought it closer to my face and closed my eyes, enjoying the peace. But my uncle, a well-known joker, quietly crept up to me, snatched the newspaper from his hands and loudly announced: “Aha! Here is our recluse and got caught! " Everyone laughed, and I was ready to fall through the ground.
Eric, 48
As a supersensitive person, you are quickly tired not only by negative impressions - even when you are at a fun holiday, at a certain moment you seem to be oversaturated, and in the midst of the celebration you feel an acute desire to withdraw into yourself. At such moments, this disadvantage greatly depresses us, because in most cases we want to be as "hardy" as everyone else. Leaving the holiday before everyone else, we, firstly, feel awkward in front of the owners, who beg us to stay. Secondly, we ourselves are sorry to leave the holiday and we are afraid to seem boring or ignorant to other guests.
The cause of increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are able to experience genuine joy.
For example, those pleasant and calm impressions that arise when we listen to music or birds singing, look at pictures, breathe in aromas, taste something tasty or admire a majestic landscape, awaken in us a feeling akin to inner glee. We are able to fully appreciate the beauty, and this gives us incomparable pleasure.
Sensitivity to sensations
If you are hypersensitive, you may find it difficult to distract yourself from sounds, smells, or visual stimuli. At times, the sensations imposed from the outside drive you crazy. Sounds that others barely notice seem like awful noise that interferes with concentration.
For example, on New Year's Eve, the sky, colored with fireworks, will surely delight you, which cannot be said about the explosions of firecrackers. It seems that these sounds penetrate every cell, play on the nerves, so under New Year and after that you are not yourself.
When I give lectures or therapy sessions with hypersensitive individuals, I ask the audience to share their best and worst experiences. Often New year's night falls precisely on the list of the worst, and the reason for this is the explosions of firecrackers. Ultrasensitive ones are annoyed even by completely harmless sounds - for example, steps in the apartment from above. In addition, they are distinguished by a very light sleep.
From the outside, the hypersensitive seem to be very picky: in particular, they hate cold and draft, so they try to avoid open-air parties. And a visit to the hairdresser sometimes turns into a real torture because of the pungent chemical odors. They also have a hard time visiting smokers. Even if the owner tries not to smoke in front of a guest, the smell of tobacco, ingrained in furniture and curtains, will certainly reach the sensitive nose. I was told about a poor fellow who even quit his job because his colleagues constantly listened to the radio and this prevented him from concentrating.
Oversensitive individuals are rare guests in cafes with loud music or overcrowded. It is generally difficult for highly sensitive people to find a cafe to their liking - especially if they are tired, hungry and are not walking alone.
It's so hard for me to please that I sometimes disgust myself. The less fastidious cannot even imagine how easy it is for them to live!
Suzanne, 23 years old
For us, highly sensitive people, a lot is not easy. Our pain threshold is lower than that of others, and therefore hostility from the outside world hurts us much more.
Impressionability
Many supersensitive natures admit that they hate quarrels and swearing. They find it difficult to endure when others quarrel or are simply in a bad mood. However, this feature also has its advantages: we are able to show sensitivity and respond to the feelings of others. For this reason, we often choose professions that allow us to help others, and we often succeed in this occupation.
Hypersensitive people in the health care system report that they often feel exhausted at the end of the working day. Due to our impressionability, excessive sensitivity and inability to abstract ourselves, we allow other people's experiences to influence us and therefore, when we come home, we still think about work.
If your work is connected with people, I advise you to take care of yourself, because stress leads to the most dire consequences.
I am often asked if it is possible to get rid of excessive impressionability in oneself. Thanks to hypersensitivity, a person has a kind of invisible antennas that allow him to catch the mood of others. From time to time, I myself want to get rid of these antennas forever and thus cut off the endless stream of impressions. I want to go blind, deaf and become insensitive. And while this is most likely impossible, any of us is quite capable of controlling our own perception.
When you feel that your friend or colleague is not happy with you, you can draw one of two conclusions: “He is angry with me. What have I done wrong? " or "He just doesn't know how to solve his problems on his own, and therefore he is upset." By choosing the second way of reasoning, you will significantly reduce the degree of your own experiences. In Chapter 8, I explain in more detail the relationship between feelings and thoughts.
With the right combination of circumstances, excessive sensitivity brings certain benefits. Thus, psychologist and neuropathologist Susan Hart noted the following pattern:
Babies who are more responsive to their surroundings are more likely to respond to stimuli. If, at the same time, the child is surrounded by love and is brought up in a calm environment, then he shows a greater interest in life and the ability to empathy, knows how to rejoice and more easily achieves a state of harmony with the world around him.
Susan Hart, 2009
Highly sensitive people, who grew up in a favorable environment, learn from childhood to see a certain advantage in their features. However, those who, in childhood, received less affection and love, as they mature, can also learn to support themselves and manage their lives in such a way as to turn oversensitivity into an advantage.
Responsibility and integrity
An experiment involving highly sensitive four-year-olds showed that these children are less likely to lie, less likely to break rules, and less likely to behave selfishly, even when they think they are not being seen. In addition, they solve moral dilemmas in a more socially responsible way.
Many hypersensitive individuals sometimes take responsibility for the whole world. Often we are from the very early age we catch the dissatisfaction from others and do our best to rectify the situation.
Feeling that my mother was unhappy with something, I was ready to do anything to help her, and came up with different ways make her life easier. Once, for example, I decided that I would smile at everyone we meet on the street - both acquaintances and strangers. I thought that in this case they would all decide that my mother is a real sorceress, because she managed to raise such a lovely child.
Hannah, 57 years old
Feeling disharmony, you immediately try to fix the situation and take control of the situation. For example, if someone is arguing at a party, you listen patiently to the dissatisfied, try to console them, or suggest different ways to solve their problem. As a result, you soon get tired and leave the party, and the former enemies forget about the quarrel and continue to have fun.
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Any word can offend him, a small failure can make him cry, and a small quarrel can lead to serious moral trauma. What is the name of a very sensitive person? What is the name of a vulnerable person and what is behind these experiences? Why state of mind some people are so wobbly?
An individual with a fine mental organization, sensitive to everything that happens in life, is called - sentimental person... This characteristic is most often referred to as a character trait. Moreover, both congenital and acquired.
What is the name of a vulnerable person - who are these people
It is believed that sentimental persons are, first of all, creative personalities. Representatives of the art professions: artists, writers, stylists, fashion designers. It is these people who are able to notice little things and attach great importance to them.
Sentimentality is direct, and most evident among women.
A vulnerable person can be distinguished from an early age. It is extremely rare that this character trait changes during life - most likely, only its concealment is possible.
By the way, guys like to wear masks of "anti-sentimentality". However, very often a soft, quivering personality can stand behind a stone face.
Why is a person sentimental - the reasons for deep sensitivity
As mentioned earlier, sentimentality is a trait that is defined in a person from birth. However, there are times when the characteristic comes over the years. This can be due to several factors:
- A serious shock, an event that affects loved ones or your own personality;
- Midlife crisis, rethinking life, contributions, years lived;
- Hormonal disruptions, pregnancy, puberty.
By the way, a precarious, sensitive state of mind is not something shameful, bad. As a rule, vulnerable people are more "human", attentive and reverent to what is happening around them.
When I was in kindergarten, a boy from my group threw my favorite book off the balcony, says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly — not because of the book, but out of hatred for this boy.” The main feature hypersensitivity - strong emotions that can arise from the most insignificant reasons.
Some of us are simply more acutely aware of what is happening to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to the estimates of psychologist Elaine Aron, hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society are about 20%. This means that one or more of your acquaintances, friends or relatives, most likely, belongs to them.
Here's what to remember when dealing with hypersensitives. Elaine Eiron is a psychologist, author of the book “The Oversensitive Nature. How to succeed in a crazy world ”(Azbuka-Atticus, 2014).
1. THEY CRY OFTEN
Oversensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or annoyed. This does not mean that they feel bad. It's just that they experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.
2. THEY ARE NOT NECESSARILY INTROVERED
Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. In fact, as Elaine Eiron discovered, 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts. Often they need even more attention, because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.
3. THEY ARE NERVOUS WHEN THEY NEED TO MAKE A DECISION
The ability to make decisions quickly and confidently is not the best strong point hypersensitives. Even when it comes to such trivial things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid to make the wrong choice: what if the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.
4. THEY RESPOND TO THE SMALLEST CHANGE
“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, rest assured that we will definitely mark it,” says Anna. "And we'll probably start to get nervous." Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what is happening in their environment and instantly notice when something goes wrong.
5. THEY ARE ALWAYS READY TO LISTEN
If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can engage in small talk, but they are best at being an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted or change the subject.
6. THEY HATE NOISE AND LOUD SOUNDS
A train at high speed, car horns, overly sociable colleagues ... All this does not just annoy us - we suffer, as if every sound is hammered into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Eiron, it's all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt stronger.
7. THEIR WORKING HABITS ARE QUIETLY UNUSUAL
Ideal - work from home or anywhere quiet. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitives know how to benefit from their ability to observe,” says Elaine Eiron. "They know how to think about ideas and then present them in such a way that they will be taken seriously." Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people's comments make them great teammates (as long as they are not tried to be held accountable for making major decisions).
8. THEY DON'T LIKE TICKING THEIR NERVES
A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite the hypersensitive to the movies. A tendency to empathize, combined with an increased sensitivity to emotionally colored images, can overwhelm them.
9. THEY TAKE CRITICISM BADLY
Avoiding anything that can cause too much arousal distinctive feature hypersensitives. As a result, they try to do everything possible so as not to hurt the feelings of others or cause their displeasure.
10. THEY TAKE EVERYTHING CLOSE TO THE HEART
Avoid ridicule when dealing with hypersensitives. Of course, they themselves may love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even a hint that there may be something wrong with them makes them nervous.
11. THEY ARE VERY SENSITIVE TO PAIN
Pain is also a kind of stimulation. It is not surprising that hypersensitives perceive it more sharply. Elaine Eiron's research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the anticipation of pain (for example, in a dentist's office) can make them feel it even when no one is touching them.
12. THEY DREAM OF DEEP RELATIONSHIP
Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible awkwardness, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor thinks, all this tires them. Oversensitive people strive to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and whom they can fully trust.
13. THEY CANNOT CHANGE IT IN THEMSELVES
Oversensitivity is not just a whim or character flaw. Elaine Eiron found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition are more aroused in hypersensitives when they are shown photographs of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.
If you have a hypersensitive person around you, try to be sensitive to them. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, so he behaves carefully and courteously. But he expects understanding from you too.
What if any unfamiliar situation makes you extremely anxious? What if a half-hour buffet table leads to an intolerable desire to retire, as a "social hangover" inevitably sets in? Perhaps you are one of the orchid people.
A bit of theory: the phenomenon of hypersensitivity was first described by Elaine Eiron, an American psychotherapist. Before her, all orchid people were mistakenly classified as either introverts or simply nervous or even neurotic people. Hypersensitivity has nothing to do with disease and abnormalities! Of course, introversion occurs in most orchid people, but there are also extroverts among them.
I'll make a reservation that this is not treatise and I did not do research. What is written here is the result of observations of myself and others like me, and I was inspired by Elaine Eiron's book "The Supersensitive Nature".
Who are the orchid people?
You can safely classify yourself among these 25% of subtle natures if you have most of the following signs:
1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system
2. Caution and even slowness in making decisions
3. Inclination to deep analysis of their actions and events happening around
4. Increased attention to subtle details and subtle trends
5. High sensitivity to the emotions of other people (high empathy, pity for the weaker), as well as avoidance of conflicts
6. Loss of focus and confusion in situations of assessment and observation by other people
7. Developed intuition, propensity for foresight
8. Right-brain thinking, good creativity
9. Introversion (about 70% of orchid people are introverts), avoidance of publicity and a wide circle of communication
10.Inclination to continuous learning, striving for self-improvement
11. Increased vulnerability and a tendency to more pronounced physical discomfort, that is, they suffer more from pain, tolerate hunger worse
12.Higher susceptibility to medication, caffeine
Now let's take a closer look at the main features of orchid people, and how they manifest themselves at work, in communicating with colleagues.
1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system
Details:
Perhaps this is the most striking and defining characteristic of the orchid people. If we take beads as a metaphorical image, then this feature is a thread, and all
the rest are beads, which would not have been able to make beads without a thread.
The reaction of highly sensitive people to any stimulus, even a minor one, is stronger than that of most people. The reaction to unexpected and unfamiliar stimuli is especially strong. For example, the unexpected clink of breaking glass or someone shouting will make your heart flinch, gasp and beat violently. Strong stimuli completely deafen you and cause a stupor reaction, a desire to retire more quickly. Therefore, orchid people, due to their increased emotionality, try to avoid:
Crowded transport during rush hour
Rallies with a large crowd of people
Buffets and noisy parties
Long noisy lines
Traffic jams (by the way, orchid people know better than others how to get around traffic jams;)
Cause:
Nervous system orchid people are attuned to a higher susceptibility to minor irritants. This, in turn, implies a more detailed processing of information entering the brain. As a result, the nervous system is overloaded more than most people. Hence - fatigue sets in faster, with strong stimuli - fatigue and completely deafening.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Orchid people feel extremely uncomfortable at large and noisy meetings. In order not to aggravate your internal stress and not force
their heart beat even more often, they prefer to remain silent. They definitely do not like open-space offices.
Of course, I don't like working on weekends, but if I have to go out, the bonus is the opportunity to sit in an empty office with dim lights! My work is in full swing in such an environment!
2. Caution and slowness in making decisions
Details:
Orchid people prefer to think through all the possible consequences of any action, which takes a long time. But on the other hand, their decisions are often successful,
after all, they were based on collecting a large number of facts and considering all possible options.
Cause:
Your brain always strives for careful and deep processing of information, and this takes much more time.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Such people work on the principle of "measure seven times, cut once." A job in which you need to make quick decisions causes the strongest
stress.
3. A tendency to constantly analyze their actions and events around them
Details:
Orchid people are prone to long thoughts and self-digging. Others may perceive this as hovering in the clouds and counting crows;).
Constant internal dialogue can lead to distraction and some awkwardness in actions. But it is thanks to this inner work
orchid people are more often endowed with worldly wisdom, they are more often rational and prudent in their actions, more often they become truly mature people.
Cause:
All the same tendency to constantly process incoming information.
Manifestation in the business environment:
When discussing some new information, an oversensitive employee may appear to be poorly capturing what is happening. But thanks to his penchant for analysis, he subsequently comes to an even deeper understanding of details and nuances than others.
I noticed the following: when I learn something new in large quantities, my head is confused and chaos. But I already know that the brain semi-consciously processes what it has learned. And the next day or week (depending on the complexity of the task or information) comes SUCH clarity and understanding that I never dreamed of at first! The expression "The morning of the evening is wiser" is definitely about orchid people!
4. Increased attention to subtle details and trends
Details:
From a highly sensitive nature, you are more likely to hear the phrase "Something is wrong here ..." It is the orchid people who will be the first to pay attention to subtle changes in the usual course of things. Whether this will be a false alarm or the beginning of an impending catastrophe is already a matter of time. But in any case, it would be wise for other people to listen to them. Perhaps, when the tsunami in Thailand was approaching, orchid people were the first to notice the animals fleeing from the coast, and even more so they did not rush to collect shells on the exposed shore before the arrival of a large wave ...
Cause:
A high susceptibility to minor stimuli is combined with an increased attention to detail. The nervous system of orchid people, figuratively speaking, wears glasses with magnifying glasses: they help to see the details better, but the incoming light also burns more due to the lenses. Nature has given us such lenses so that we can see in advance the approaching danger and warn our fellow tribesmen. A separate post on my site is devoted to the benefits of orchid people for the rest of the community.
Manifestation in the business environment:
You are someone who knows how to alert your boss or your coworkers to a problem before it gets worse. You are the one who will be the first to notice the subtle
changes in the market and will warn others about it. You may have a reputation for exaggerating danger all the time. But rather in you
appreciate this insight.
I tried to show most of the characteristic features of orchid people as advantages and strengths... Believe me, I was not afraid to overdo it, since such people are rarely prone to overestimated self-esteem, and such praises to them will not lead to narcissism.
- Psychology: Personality and Business
Keywords:
1 -1
Hypersensitivity
Hyperesthesia greatly expands the perception of the world and sharpens sensitivity. Such people are hypersensitive to light, sound, heat, cold and, especially, to excessive excitement. Often, out of nowhere, they can shout: “Turn off this TV! There is no need to watch it! " Or: "Can someone close the window?"
Due to the subtlety of feelings, a person with hyperesthesia captures a lot of details, as a rule, not noticeable to others. Tears of affection can often be seen in their eyes, they quickly get irritated in stressful situations and at the slightest injustice rush into battle. They are sensitive to the speaker's tone, words, facial expressions and gestures. Because of this, they need clarification. In their understanding, one word is not always synonymous with another, because each has its own shades. That is why they find fault with words so often.
People with hyperesthesia are very touchy, they are easily offended by any criticism, reproaches, ridicule, and if the interlocutor has a second thought, they will instinctively guess it.
It is very unpleasant when you receive a lot of information and at the same time run into a misunderstanding of loved ones who did not notice it. "No, you are inventing everything!" - the most common and offensive phrase that super-effective people often hear, as soon as they begin to share their impressions with someone.
The level of their interests, the quality of attention and the ability to feel involved in the world around them are directly proportional to their hyperesthesia.
In one interview, Amelie Notomb explained to an intrigued journalist that she felt guilty for every disaster that happened in the world. "As soon as there is an earthquake, war or famine, I get the impression that it is because of me, that this is my fault."
That is, any information deeply touches people with a super-efficient mind, because they feel they are part of the existing world. Like Amelie Nothomb, the super-effective often take responsibility for all the bad things that happen in the world, and also reproach themselves for being passive. As we will learn later, the thoughts of the super-efficient are controlled by the right hemisphere. It is known that right hemisphere responsible for emotions and feelings. You can even say that all information, before entering the brain, passes through the soul. And if so, it is almost impossible to remain rational and cold. Emotions overwhelm supersensitive people like a sudden storm. Their mood is constantly changing, they seem to be rushing on a roller coaster: now they are overwhelmed by bouts of anger and rage, then a feeling of anxiety arises, then suddenly depression rolls over them. But in the same way, they can be inspired, take off on a wave of euphoria and feel unspeakable joy.
This hypersensitivity creates many problems. To the feeling of one's own helplessness, when it is necessary to control the situation, is added a lack of understanding of one's own mechanisms and disapproval from others. Because in our society, sensitive and emotional people are often considered weak, immature and impulsive, and therefore naive, stupid and reckless. Psychology immediately labeled them as "borderline people."
If you belong to this group of people, sensitive and emotional, then you know all this very well! People around you constantly read morality to you and grumble like at small children: “It's just stupid to cry or be indignant over such nonsense. Don't take everything to heart. You have to be more flexible. " In general, if you listen to these notations, criticism and advice, endlessly pouring out on hypersensitive people, you might think that in any life situation one must remain indifferent, indifferent and insensitive. So is this the only solution to the problem?
Until recently, it was thought so. Only rational thinking, logic and dispassion were accepted as correct and reasonable. Emotions, on the other hand, were considered our enemies: they confuse and interfere with making the right decision. Fortunately, in Lately a different opinion appeared: we began to notice that emotions occupy an important place in the process of thinking and in making decisions. It is now common to use the term EC (emotional coefficient) to refer to this emotional mind. This EC shows the individual's ability to control his impulses, individual motivation, empathy and the ability to find mutual understanding with other people. The super-effective have a huge emotional potential, it not only fills them, but overwhelms them, and they still do not know how to use it.
Of course, hypersensitive people, constantly experiencing condemnation, listening to criticism and forced to be ashamed of themselves, have developed the most unfavorable opinion of themselves. Meanwhile, let's try to imagine a world devoid of this hypersensitivity. No creativity, no empathy, no humor. The population, rational and able to exercise self-control, lives without the slightest warm human feelings... What will become of humanity, which is not able to resent, rebel and, most importantly, fall into enthusiasm, even if it is stupid, but so infectious? Oversensitivity is real shadow power. Hypersensitivity is part of everything. If you are hypersensitive, then you are probably benevolent, altruistic and very cordial with those with whom you communicate. But in relation to yourself you are demanding and at any moment you are ready to back down and laugh at yourself. The strength of your mind is openness, curiosity, a sense of humor and innocence, lively and creative. Finally, your sense of fairness, straightforwardness, integrity, and sincerity is unmatched. The sooner you accept yourself as you are, the better you will be able to use this incredible sensitivity. Because the key to effectively using your own EC is knowing yourself. As you gain insight into yourself, you will understand and come to terms with your emotional storms. Your emotions will become your friends and guides.
This text is an introductory fragment.
