Federal Law No. 129-FZ of August 8, 2001 (as amended on December 27, 2018) "On State Registration of Legal Entities and Individual Entrepreneurs" (as amended and supplemented, effective from January 1, 2019)

Article 13.1. Reorganization Notice legal entity

1. A legal entity, within three working days after the date of the decision on its reorganization, is obliged to inform the registering body in writing about the beginning of the reorganization procedure, including the form of reorganization, with the decision on reorganization attached. In the case of participation in the reorganization of two or more legal entities, such a notification shall be sent by the legal entity that was the last to make a decision on the reorganization or a certain decision on the reorganization. On the basis of this notification, the registering authority, within a period of not more than three working days, makes an entry in the unified state register of legal entities that the legal entity (legal entities) is (are) in the process of reorganization.

2. After making an entry in the unified state register of legal entities about the beginning of the reorganization procedure, the reorganized legal entity shall place a notice of its reorganization in the media, in which data on the state registration of legal entities are published, twice with a frequency of once a month. In case of participation in the reorganization of two or more legal entities, the notice of reorganization is published on behalf of all legal entities participating in the reorganization by the legal entity that made the last decision on reorganization or was determined by the decision on reorganization. The notice of reorganization shall contain information about each legal entity participating in the reorganization, created (continuing activity) as a result of the reorganization, the form of reorganization, a description of the procedure and conditions for the submission of creditors' claims, other information provided for by federal laws. The legal entity under reorganization, within five working days after the date of sending the notification of the commencement of the reorganization procedure to the body carrying out state registration of legal entities, notifies in writing the creditors known to it of the commencement of the reorganization, unless otherwise provided by federal laws.

3. Making an entry (records) in the unified state register of legal entities that the legal entity (legal entities) is (are) in the process of reorganization, as well as other entries in connection with the reorganization of legal entities, is not allowed if a legal entity participates in the reorganization in respect of which a decision was made to liquidate it.

There are many things that seem self-evident, but the mistakes we make show that they need thoughtful reflection. One of these things is decision-making, without which, perhaps, not a single day lived by a person on earth can do. Abbot Nektary (Morozov) reflects on this - how to make decisions and how to be guided by this.

From scratch

Almost constantly, any priest has to deal with the fact that people turn to him for advice - both those whom he knows well and those whom he sees for the first time in his life - turn for advice, not knowing what decision to make in any given life situation. And I must say that almost every time the priest finds himself in a rather difficult situation. Why? Because the person who asks him a question knows his life, knows his circumstances, he must also know himself, and, proceeding from all this, it would be logical if a priest is needed, a blessing is required, to come with some then a more or less ready-made decision and consult already as to whether it is really correct, whether the priest can suggest something in this regard. But sometimes it happens quite differently: it happens that a person asks a priest a question, and it feels like he himself has begun to solve this problem completely from scratch. And in exactly the same way, the priest starts to solve the problem from scratch, because he certainly knows much less about a person’s life, his circumstances and about himself. And he has to this case to rely on one's life and pastoral experience, one has to rely on some minimal knowledge of this person, and, of course, pray to God at the same time that the Lord would help him not to make a mistake. And often, as a result, such situations arise that I involuntarily recall the story of the wonderful English writer Jerome Klapka Jerome (whom everyone knows mainly from his famous story “Three Men in a Boat, Not Counting the Dog”).

advice, more advice

This story begins with the fact that the author on the platform approaches a certain person and asks him: “Would you advise which train I should take to get to ...” Well, then he does not have time to say anything, because this person completely unexpectedly comes in such a rage that he almost throws him under a train. Then, however, he becomes ashamed, he approaches the author and says to him: “I understand that my reaction may seem abnormal to you, but the fact is that when I am asked to give advice, it causes very difficult feelings in me.”

It turned out that this man, who reacted so nervously to requests for advice, once wrote a book that contained a lot of useful tips and, in short, taught me how to be happy. Shortly after that, a man, who was at a crossroads and at a loss to make a choice, turned to him as an expert, to someone who knows well. And the writer was a responsible person, he was a very good person, and he did not just give this visitor some kind of answer based on his life experience, but first fully delved into his circumstances, studied them and even then offered him advice. This advice turned out to be unsuccessful, and subsequently led to a real collapse. However, the trouble was not in the council, but in the personality of the questioner himself ...

But, despite the failure, after some time he came to the writer a second time and again asked for advice. He, reluctantly, again delved into his situation, spent time studying it and again gave him advice. And again, the advice was unsuccessful ...

And then this man pursued him all his life, and he, being, as we have already said, a responsible person, could not get rid of him in any way and each time he tried to help him somehow. Although the further, the harder it was given to him.

Of course, this story is quite funny and entertaining, but at the same time I would not say that it is very different from what we encounter in our real life. Because it seems that a huge number of people, asking the question of how to act in such and such a situation, have absolutely no idea on what the adoption of this or that decision should be based on, what its foundation should be. And so I wanted to talk about it at least a little.

Two extremes

But first of all, let me tell you what is meant when we pronounce this word - "decision". It happens that a decision has to be made on some global, pivotal issues. Well, for example, the decision to take monastic vows or to marry, the decision to choose life path, profession, choice - which is still a little simpler - a university. And it happens that we are talking about decisions that are much less important, private, about those decisions that fill everyday life person. Moreover, they can concern both spiritual objects and issues, issues that have a moral dimension, and things that are purely everyday in nature.

Sometimes a person makes some decisions without even noticing that he is making them.

And here we have to face two extremes, and it is difficult to say which one is worse. One extreme is this: a person makes some decisions without even noticing that he is making them. He does not notice that there is a choice - to act one way or another, he does not analyze anything, does not think about anything and lives in obedience to some element that, like a river, carries him in one direction, then in another, then in the third, and here decision-making as such is by and large absent - it is simply a direct response to life and its circumstances. And, of course, such a person makes a huge number of mistakes, for which he then has to pay very hard for him, the people who know and love him, and sometimes even completely strangers who somehow become participants in these situations in which mistakes are made. .

But there is another extreme, when a person, on the contrary, somehow sharply, very clearly and very clearly understands that each life situation requires a certain choice, requires the adoption of this or that decision - and it is difficult to make this decision, it is difficult to make this choice. Why? Because every time we make a choice, when we make a decision, we take responsibility for the consequences of this choice and for the consequences of this decision. And it turns out that often a person seeks in every possible way to get away from this responsibility, not to take it upon himself, to the point that he is ready to allow someone else to make a choice for himself and make a decision for himself, if only this burden is not heavy for himself. carry.

The courage to decide
or a little about immediacy

No acceptance independent decisions human life, including the Christian life, is impossible

But in reality, without making independent decisions, a person's life, including the Christian life, is impossible. There are many situations - at work, in the life around us - in which the moment moral choice: when you need to understand who is right and who is to blame, whom you support in this situation, whom you have to confront in this situation, when you need to remain silent, and when you need to say a word, maybe in someone's defense , maybe in someone's support, or maybe, on the contrary, in the denunciation of something that needs this denunciation. And if you avoid making these decisions, then in some cases it is very easy to turn into a traitor, because sometimes in order to become a traitor, you need not do something, but simply do nothing. And both God and people can be betrayed by the silence of a person, and sometimes a person can betray himself, not performing those actions and not making those decisions that he must take. Therefore, sound reasoning and courage are necessary for making decisions - these are things that a person cannot do without.

And now you lay everything out together with a person, you show him clearly the picture that he could well imagine himself, and the person says: “Thank you very much, I understand that you are right, this decision would have been made rashly, would have led to dire consequences". And I think: “Lord, how many such rash decisions people make, but it would seem that this is a completely natural, simple thing - to understand that it was impossible to do this!”

"Pros and cons"

As a child, my mother taught me such a wonderful way: when you need to make some kind of decision and you cannot solve this problem in your mind, since it is quite complex, multi-component, then you sit down, take a pen and a piece of paper and write in two columns: on the one hand, everything is “for”, on the other hand, everything is “against” - and then you just compare them and you understand what is more - “for” or “against”. And, of course, there are different “for” and “against” because there may be an emergency in the “for” column, and an extreme risk of realizing what is connected with this need in the “against” column. And here, of course, it is necessary to somehow correctly determine this ratio: does the need justify the risk? Well, you understand again that the universal patristic principle is at work here: choose the lesser of two evils, and the greater of two blessings. And compiling a list - more precisely, two lists - helps to understand which evil is lesser and which good is greater. But if a person, and having spent such preparatory work, anyway, it turns out that he himself is not able to make a decision, then with this it already makes sense to go to the confessor or sometimes even in some situation just to a close person, reasonable and reasonable, in order to discuss with him what you already have for yourself had some time to think. If this thoughtfulness is absent, then, probably, it is still too early to consult, you still need to work on your own first.

Of course, there are situations in life when you can’t get by with just these pros and cons.” In particular, this is the already mentioned question of becoming a monk or getting married. This is probably the most striking illustration of those situations where the decision should not be made on the basis of pros and cons, which can also be present, which can also be considered, and even well when they are considered, but, nevertheless, this those cases when the decision should be made not by the mind, not by some rational consciousness of a person, but by his heart. And so the question of love arises here. If a person loves another person in such a way that he cannot even imagine life without him, this is the basis for marriage. If a person loves God and loves the monastic life, because it is the most direct road to God, then it is quite natural that he can choose this life for himself. “For” and “against” here also play a certain role, because sometimes we succumb to emotions, sometimes it seems to us that what we take for some kind of stable, solid feeling is just a mood - and here “for ” and “against” help us. When we begin to disassemble them, these "cons" can cool us down, they can stop us. If they stop us, if they cool us down, then this is a reason to doubt our feelings. Because if this feeling is real, then, as a rule, it nevertheless overcomes any.

The Lesson of the Apostle Peter

Indecisiveness, fear of responsibility sometimes leads people to the state in which there was one animal that was dying between two haystacks. Do you remember, yes? The donkey stood between two haystacks and could not decide which one to start the meal with. And since he could not choose which one to start with, he died of hunger. In fact, it’s kind of funny, it’s kind of stupid, but on the other hand, it’s not so rare that it happens, quite often something like this happens to people. And I can even say that there is such a dispensation and such a state of a person when it’s not even worth figuring out which haystack to start with, which one is better, which one is tastier, which one is larger, and so on - you have to start with some, with any, because in this case, if a person does not have the ability to make decisions at all, for him the least evil will be to start learning to make these decisions at least somehow, taking a step not back, but forward.

Here is an example of a decision by the Apostle Peter when he walked on the water towards the Savior: on the one hand, there was certainly an emotional moment here, on the other, there was a rational moment. There was a storm, they were afraid, the Savior was coming towards them, and the disciples were afraid, because they did not recognize Him and doubted whether it was He. And so the apostle Peter somehow puts it all together and understands that if now the One Who is coming to meet him will give him the opportunity to walk on the water, then this is definitely the Lord. And the sinking of their ship, too, can then not be feared. That is, a certain calculation is also present here. And at the same time - the strongest emotional movement. One connects with the other, he takes a step and goes.

There are situations when we understand: if we don’t make a decision, then maybe our whole life will pass us by.

And we sometimes find ourselves in a situation where there are not enough pros and cons, when we understand that if we don’t make a decision, then maybe our whole life, which we should have had, will pass us by. that we can lose everything that the Lord wants to give us in this life. But what is the basis here? If the Apostle Peter had simply stepped into the water, he would certainly have drowned, and we even, probably, would have learned almost nothing about him. But he did not just step on the water - he stepped on the water because he trusted God. And to us - when all the pros and cons are already added, when common sense already called to help, but we still cannot make a decision - then it is necessary, having prayed and not feeling inclination to one or the other, nevertheless, nevertheless, to make a decision, trusting God and hoping that if we, having trusted Him, made some decision and made a mistake, then He will correct our mistake for us.

This is a subtle but very important point. If we make a mistake, not remembering God and not asking Him for admonition and blessings, then we will certainly bear all the responsibility for the consequences of this decision. If we sincerely want to find the will of God, if we sincerely try to understand what it is, and we make mistakes, having already begun to seek this will and asking God for help, then it often turns out that our mistake turns to our good. Maybe we suffer, maybe it takes time, maybe it takes strength, but it becomes a lesson for us. It gives us experience, it gives us some kind of completely different personal integrity, and through this path - first losses, then gains - the Lord leads us to the goal that we may have been striving for initially. But when we asked, when we were looking for admonition, we were not yet ready to accept what we are looking for, what we want, because any gift is given to a person by God when a person is really prepared for it, otherwise a person easily loses what he received.

If we sincerely want to find the will of God and make mistakes, having already begun to seek this will and asking God for help, then our mistake turns to our good.

That's quite briefly what I wanted to say about decision making. This word was born spontaneously, thanks to a number of situations that I had to deal with over the past few days. And in fact, I am convinced that, despite the fact that we have just talked about it, someone from here present after a while will definitely ask me a question of about the kind that I said at the beginning - without thinking it over, without preparing, without even thinking about any “for” or “against”, and even more so – without praying, without which everything is generally in vain. Of course, I will not blame anyone for this, and even though such questions sometimes sound funny, I will not laugh at them and will try to help in any way I can, but nevertheless I would very much like to urge you to make the decision-making work at least jointly. This is very, very important, because the task of a priest is by no means to make decisions for a person, in no case is to lead them in the full sense of the word, it is to help a person to learn to make the right decisions, if he himself does not already know how. In general, a priest must help a person to learn everything that he needs in the Christian life. And the shepherd must gradually lead a person to the fact that he feels the least need for him, and in no case vice versa.

How to make a decision when in doubt? This is very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string decisions taken by the simplest and most difficult questions. And it depends on each previous decision what subsequent new questions life will put before us and what opportunities will open up before us. It is strange that the school devoted so much time to trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue ...

I have several faithful assistants - proven methods that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques in personal growth trainings, some from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me by ... my grandmother.

Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:

The girl was invited to a party in the middle of the week. She thought to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Yet I decided to go. And as a result, she met her love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She found her happiness and often wonders what her fate would have been if she had not gone to that party.

So from each of our decisions, even the smallest, depends on what will be the continuation of the scenario of our life.

In this context, I like the movie starring Jim Carrey Always say yes" If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend you watch it. Few people know that comedy is based on the biographical book of British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the "bachelorette party" scene in a cameo role.

So, back to our main question: How to make the right decision when in doubt?.

1st technique "Intuition".

All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know, we feel what to do. I, for example, I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if that doesn't help, I use a few simple and proven techniques.

Actually, this folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. For thousands of years they have noticed certain causes and effects. And this knowledge was passed on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if in doubt, you don’t know what decision to make, ask for advice from the 2 closest people. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best solution for you.

This method can be called to some extent following from the previous method: if your Angel cannot “get through” with the right decision to you through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.

3rd technique "Descartes square for decision making".

The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:

• What will, if this will happen? (pros of this).
• What will, if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
• What Will not, if this will happen? (cons of this).
• What Will not, if this will NOT happen? (cons of not getting it).

To make it clearer, you can ask questions a little differently:

4th technique "Expansion of choice".

This is a very important technique. Often we get hung up on only one choice, “YES or NO”, “Do or Don’t”, and in our stubbornness we forget to consider all other options. For example, to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to ride the subway. Due to the fact that we fixate only on the option "YES or NO", we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway might be to buy an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.

5th technique Jose Silva "Glass of water".

This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is José Silva, who gained worldwide fame for the Silva Method he developed.- complex psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of water with clean, not boiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that needs to be addressed. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: "This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution." Open your eyes, put a glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink water and thank you for the right decision. The decision may clearly "come" immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, how could one doubt it. Here it is, the correct solution.

Technique 6: Stick to Your Basic Priorities

The technique is based on the ideas of philosophers Ancient Greece. "Ataraxia" is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the system of values. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from the fact that he does not get what he wants.

The key to realizing happiness is very simple: you need to enjoy what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)

The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values ​​and their basic priorities as follows:

• Natural and natural values like, water and food.
• Values ​​are natural, but not quite natural dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having higher education and other similar stereotypical values. Most of these values ​​can be liberated.
• Values ​​are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, servility, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. With these values ​​in general, you can easily say goodbye!

So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and not natural values ​​imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.

7th technique "Wait".

When making important and long-term solutions it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.

Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just need to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed to be the first necessity yesterday, today seems completely unnecessary. No wonder they say: "That thought needs to be put to rest."

To get rid of emotions, you can use the exercise called "10/10/10". We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours / 10 months / 10 years?”.

Summary.

You got the answer to the question how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision, it is important:

• turn off emotions
• listen to intuition;
• ask for advice from the 2 closest people;
• consider other options, expand the choice;
• evaluate all the PROs and CONS on the issues of the Descartes Square;
• evaluate whether the decision is inconsistent with your basic principles;
• if possible, postpone the decision, wait, "sleep with this thought" using the "Glass of Water" technique.

Under all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and in your dreamdon't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you do not harm anyone and do not go against your principles.

Do not be afraid, take your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because "No one stumbles while lying in bed" (Japanese wisdom)!

I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!

The whole life of a person consists of a series of decisions - large and small. Some of them affect the rest of your life. Many people have difficulty when faced with the need to make a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process the most effective, and what methods can be used to do this.

Every day life puts us in front of a choice, throwing up a variety of tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? What phone to buy? Where to go to rest during the holidays? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Quit your job or stay? There are decisions that do not really affect anything, but there are those that radically change life.

All people behave differently when they make decisions. There is a category of people who are called "pofigists". They never suffer from a choice, because they prefer the first available or the simplest option. They put on the clothes that they take out of the closet first, go on a date with the one who invites them first, get the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t worth the effort.

Another category of people when making important decisions is guided by intuition. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness of the decisions made. However, there are not many such people.

Most of the people are individuals who experience difficulties during the choice. They suffer, doubt, weigh each option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you are one of those people and do not know how to make a decision, if in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn a few methods that make the selection process easier.

Method 1. Descartes Square

The essence of the method is to consider the problem you are facing from four different angles. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. For each section, write one of the following questions:

1. What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
2. What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?
3. What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
4. What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plan?

Think and write in each square the answer to the question. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and not implementing it, you can understand what decision you should make.

If you don’t know how to act in this or that situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Folk wisdom says that each person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides to the right way. The guardian angel gives clues through intuition. If a person has poorly developed intuition, then an angel can convey a hint through loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.

Method 3. "Expanding the scope"

The problem with most people is that they narrow themselves down and see no alternatives. They tend to obsess over “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to borrow a car. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue to travel by public transport.

By expanding the selection box, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse a loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and not use public transport; you can generally change jobs by getting a job in another company located close to your home; you can arrange with one of your colleagues to drive you to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.

Method 4. "Disappearance of options"

Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to work for has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other equally interesting options regarding new job, which you have not seen before, because you are fixated on one.

Method 5. "Glass of water"

The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, the founder of the Silva Method, the author of books on non-traditional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour into a glass of clean, unboiled water. Hold the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that concerns you and clearly articulate the issue that needs to be resolved. Then, slowly, drink half a glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”

Place a glass of water next to your bed and go to bed. In the morning after waking up, the first thing to do is drink water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.

Method 6. "Delay"

If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you are excited and your brain is overloaded with information, making the right choice is very difficult. Remember how often in a hurry you made the wrong decision, and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require an instant decision, so don't be afraid to put it off for a while.

Method 7. "Know the information"

Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to give preference to. When it comes to buying a product, read online reviews about it. When deciding to change jobs, find out all about the position you are about to take and the people who have worked there before you. If possible, seek out these people for first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.

The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the right information should be. So you protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.

Method 8. "Reject emotions"

Emotions make it very difficult to make the right decision, because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally aroused person is not able to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule for yourself: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, anger, as well as stormy joy, euphoria are bad advisers in making decisions.

If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. So you will protect yourself from rash acts and their consequences.

How to get rid of emotions?

Even when you understand that emotions are preventing you from making the right choice, you can't always get rid of them. To facilitate this process, use simple methods.

10/10/10

This method allows you to discard momentary impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
• How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?

Let's say you want to borrow an expensive car. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? Surely you will be in euphoria, rejoicing in your acquisition. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden, you will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and needs repair, or maybe you are already so tired of it that you want to sell it.

The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you have done later.

stay in the dark

A good way to pacify emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person, helps to put thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this is done so that gold and precious stones play better and shimmer in the rays of light? Not only for this. Marketers know that bright lights are more likely to cause a person to make impulse purchases.

If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a semi-dark or dark room, think again about the consequences of your choice.

Breathe deeply

Another simple but effective method helping in the fight against emotions - deep breathing. Take 10 slow and deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”.

Think about what advice you would give to a friend.

To reduce emotions and cool the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who is facing the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?

Many people notice such a feature in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their acquaintances, but they themselves, getting into similar situations, behave extremely stupidly. This happens because looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves inside the problem, then a lot of all sorts of little things pop up, to which we attach too much importance.

The ability to abstract and look at the situation with an open mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.

Method 9. "Following life priorities"

Each person has their own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values ​​and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of feedback from you; the second is less prestigious and not with such a high salary, but you do not need to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?

To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.

Method 10. "Intuition"

Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you the way out when rational methods did not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, and the inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe you should listen to him?

Develop intuition, and it will become a great helper in different situations, but do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.

Once in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or rather, apply several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you can use it in a variety of ways. life situations. By learning how to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.

Today I will tell you what methods will allow you make the right decision and learn to make decisions in general. This article will be based not only on my experience, but also on the decision-making methodology outlined in the famous book by Chip Heath and Dean Heath - “. This technique helps to make effective choices in business, career and education. Here I will outline the main points of this technique, and also talk about what helps me personally in finding the right solutions.

Method 1 - Avoid "narrow borders"

Often we fall into the trap of "narrow frames", when our thinking reduces all the diversity possible solutions There are only two problems: yes or no, to be or not to be. “Should I divorce my husband or not?” “Should I buy this particular expensive car or take the subway?” Should I go to the party or stay at home?

When we choose only between "Yes or No", in fact, we are stuck in only one alternative (eg, breaking up with her husband, making a purchase) and ignoring the others. But maybe there are other options in your relationship besides breaking up with your partner and returning to the status quo. For example, try, discuss problems, go to a family psychologist, etc.

If you choose not to buy an expensive car on credit, it doesn't mean that exhausting subway rides are your only remaining alternative. You can probably buy a cheaper car. But, perhaps, the most correct choice will lie in a different plane of decisions. Maybe it will be more convenient and profitable to rent an apartment closer to work. Or change jobs to less distant from home.

An alternative to choosing between different breeds of cats or dogs may be for you to go to a cattery and choose a homeless pet that you like best.

This seems like an obvious tactic for thinking about choices, yet many people continue to fall into the same traps. There is always a temptation to reduce the problem to a yes or no dichotomy. We instinctively strive for this, because it is much easier to consider the problem only in black and white, and not in all its diversity. But it turns out that with this approach we only create difficulties for ourselves.

Also, we often try to consider a choice between two extremes, although it is possible to find a compromise between them in the middle. Or we don’t notice that both of these extremes can be implemented simultaneously and in fact it is not at all necessary to choose one of them.

Method 2 - Expand the selection

This method is a development of the previous method. Many of us know situations when we want to make an important purchase, for example, to buy an apartment. We arrive at the first apartment, and we are fascinated by their appearance, and the realtor offers "favorable" terms of the transaction and thereby provokes us to make a quick decision. And we are already thinking not about “which apartment to choose”, but about “whether to buy this particular apartment or not to buy”.

Do not hurry. It is better to look at five apartments, instead of buying the first one that comes across. Firstly, it will allow you to better navigate the real estate market. Perhaps there are better suggestions. Secondly, the time you spend looking at the rest of the offers will “cool down” your instant emotions. And momentary emotions always get in the way right choice. While you are under their influence, you may overlook some obvious flaws in the apartments you like, but when time will pass, you can see the whole picture more clearly.

We become too attached to the goal to which our thinking is initially tuned. And this forms a strong inertia in decision-making: we are ready to see only what confirms our decision, and we ignore what contradicts it. For example, you wanted to enter a certain university from school. A few years later, you failed your entrance exams. And now you are thinking about preparing hard and trying your luck again in a year. You dismiss all the arguments of your friends in favor of choosing another university, as you are used to thinking that your choice is the best.

But what if in the few years it took you to finish school, the situation has changed and the university you want to go to is no longer the same as before? Suddenly new promising educational establishments? Do not get attached to your choice and conduct a comparative analysis. Expand your selection! Check out curriculum and teaching staff in other institutions. What other universities offer a similar program?

To become less attached to one alternative, the auxiliary method of "disappearing options" will help you.

Variant Disappearance Method

Imagine that the alternative you have chosen cannot be chosen for some reason. For example, the university you want to enter, let's say, was closed. Now think about what you would do if this really happened. And start doing it. You would probably look at other possibilities, and probably in the process you'll discover how many great options you've missed out on because you've become fixated on one alternative.

Method 3 - Get as much information as possible

The authors, Chip, and Dean Heath are surprised that it is common practice for many people to read reviews before buying electronics, booking hotels, or choosing hairdressers. But at the same time, when it comes to choosing a job or university, fewer people use this wonderful practice, which helps to get a lot of valuable information.

Before making a decision about employment in a particular company, you can study the reviews of people who worked in it. This is better than relying only on the information provided to you by HR and a future boss.

The Heath brothers suggest asking one question at the interview for this.

“Who worked in the position before me? What is his name and how can I contact him?

There is nothing wrong with trying to get firsthand information. When I learned about this practice, I was surprised that, despite the obvious advantages of this approach, it never occurred to me to use it during my job search!

You may not always be given the contacts of these people. In this case, it will help you get information practice of leading questions.

This practice is good because it allows you to get information from someone who is reluctant to share it.

At the interview:

Instead of asking what prospects and conditions you offer (you may be promised brilliant prospects and good working conditions), ask more direct questions:

“How many people have left this position in the last three years? Why did this happen? Where are they now?"
This question will help you get more reliable information about future work.

In the shop:

One study found that when sales consultants, motivated to sell as many products as possible, were asked the question, "Tell me something about this iPod," only 8% of them reported problems with it. But when they had to answer the question: “What is his problem?” 90% of all managers honestly reported the shortcomings of this model.

Method 4 - Get rid of momentary emotions

As I wrote above, instant emotions can greatly interfere with decision making. They make you lose sight of something important and focus on small things that later turn out to be insignificant.

Many of us face the dire results of impulsive and unconscious choices, realizing that at the time of making the decision, we were blinded by our emotions and didn't see the full picture.

This may concern an imminent marriage or an impulsive divorce, expensive purchases or employment. How to avoid the influence of these emotions? There are several ways.

The first way to get rid of emotions - 10/10/10

This method allows you to go beyond the narrow perspective that instantaneous impulses set. It consists in asking yourself three questions before making a decision:

• How will I feel about this decision in 10 minutes?
• And after 10 months?
• What will happen in 10 years?

For example, you fell in love with another man and want to leave your children and leave your husband. If you make this decision, what will you think of it in 10 minutes? Probably, the euphoria of falling in love and a new life will rage in you! Of course, you will not regret your decision.

But after 10 months, passion and love will subside (it always happens), and perhaps when the veil of euphoria that has covered your eyes disappears, you will see the shortcomings of the new partner. At the same time, a bitter feeling of loss of something dear will begin to manifest. You may find that what you used to take for granted was actually a benefit of your previous relationship. And this is no longer in your new relationship.

It is very difficult to predict what will happen in 10 years. But perhaps, after the ardor of falling in love passes, you will realize that you have come to the same thing that you were running from.

Of course, I'm not saying that this will be the case for everyone. For many relationships, divorce is the best solution. But, nevertheless, I am sure that a lot of divorces happen impulsively and thoughtlessly. And it is better to weigh everything carefully and distance yourself from the delusion of euphoria in anticipation of change.

The second way to get rid of emotions - Breathe

Before making any important choice, give yourself a little time out. Take 10 calm full and slow inhalations and exhalations of equal duration. For example, 6 slow counts of inhalation - 6 slow counts of exhalation. And so 10 cycles.

This will calm you well and cool the ardor. Well, do you still want to order this expensive trinket you don’t need, just because you saw the same one from a colleague?

This method can be combined with the previous one. Breathe first and then apply 10/10/10.

The third way to get rid of emotions - "Ideal me"

I came up with this method when I could not make one decision. And he helped me a lot (I wrote about him in more detail in the article ""). Think about what your “ideal self” would do or what would be the ideal scenario for the development of events under the existing restrictions. For example, you are thinking whether to go out drinking today or stay at home with your wife and children. Many factors in the decision will compete with each other: a sense of duty and a momentary desire to drink, caring for children and health with the need to have fun.

What to do? Think about what would be ideal. Just stay realistic. I understand that ideally you would like to split in two so that one part of you stays at home and the other part is at the party, while alcohol would not bring her any harm and hangover the next day. But that doesn't happen. Given the restrictions, the ideal option would be to stay at home, because last week you promised yourself to drink less. You realize that your wife rarely sees you and if you don't go to the party you will feel better the next day.

No need to think about what you want more. Because, Just because you want something doesn't mean you need it. Desires are fickle and fleeting. Now you want one. But tomorrow you may regret indulging your momentary desire. Consider which option would be correct. What would an ideal husband do?

The fourth way to get rid of emotions - What would you advise a friend?

Imagine that you want to change your job to a more comfortable and highly paid one, but you are afraid of change, you are afraid of being disappointed, you don’t want to let your colleagues down, you are worried about what your boss will think of you in connection with your departure. Because of this, you can't make up your mind about it.

But what if this choice is not in front of you, but in front of your friend. What would you advise him? Surely, if he shared with you his fears at the expense of disappointments and the opinion of the boss, you would answer him: “Come on, you think about all sorts of nonsense! Do what's best for you."

Surely many of you have noticed that you can give good and reasonable advice to your friends in solving some situations, but at the same time, you yourself behave unreasonably in similar situations. Why? Because when we think about another person's decision, we only look at the essentials. But when it comes to ourselves, a bunch of little things immediately pop up, to which we attach exaggerated importance. Therefore, to get rid of the influence of these unimportant things on your decision, think about what advice you would give to your friend if he was in a similar situation.

The fifth way to get rid of emotions - just wait

Remember, a quick decision is very often a bad decision, because it can be made under the influence of emotions. You don't have to listen to impulsive desires every time. In some cases, it makes sense to just wait and not make a spontaneous choice. Impulsive desires, on the one hand, are quite intense and can be difficult to cope with. On the other hand, they are fleeting and you just have to wait a while, and this desire will disappear. You will realize that what seemed to be an essential need a couple of hours ago, in fact, you do not need.

Personally, I like to let some decision “ripen” in my head, give it time, provided that I have nowhere to rush. It doesn't mean that I think about him all the time. I can do some business, and suddenly the decision will appear by itself. It even happens that I make a decision instantly, but I am in no hurry to implement it if it concerns important and long-term things.

In a few days, details may “surface” in my head that can change my choice. Or vice versa, I will understand that the first thought was the right thought, only now, I will be sure of it.

The sixth way to get rid of emotions - stay focused

This method is suitable in situations where you need to make quick decisions while under psychological pressure, for example, at an interview.

As a poker lover, I know how important it is to stay focused so as not to give in to instant emotions. Poker is basically a game of decision making. I have noticed that when my mind wanders somewhere far away from the game between hands, I make unreasonable and emotional actions when it's my turn to bet. But if I am focused on the game, even when I am not in the hand, for example, just watching the opponents, this allows my mind to be alert, constantly monitor everything around me and myself, think only about the game and not let unnecessary thoughts and emotions into brain.

So, for example, during an interview, keep your attention on this process. Listen to everything they tell you. Do not let extraneous thoughts enter your head, such as: “what did they think of me?”, “Did I say too much?” Think about it later. But for now, be here and now. This will help you make the right choice.

Method 10 - When Not to Use All of These Methods

Looking at all these methods, it seems that decision making is a very complex process. In fact, these methods are designed to help you make choices, in which each alternative is determined by a set of advantages and disadvantages. But what if there are no flaws? What if you have nothing to lose if you choose one option?

Then forget about all these tips, act and see what happens.

For example, you saw a pretty girl on the street, you are alone and are just looking for a mate. Stop going over the pros and cons in your head. You have nothing to lose if you come up and get to know each other. This is an absolutely simple solution.

Such situations are an exception. The more you think about them and weigh the decisions, the more uncertainty and the chances of missing an opportunity grow. Therefore, where the choice does not cost you anything, think less and act!

Conclusion - A little about intuition

The methods I've been talking about are attempts to formalize decision making. Give clarity and clarity to this process. But I do not want to belittle the role of intuition.

These methods should not confuse you, instilling in you an illusory confidence that any decisions are amenable to reason and dry analysis. This is not true. Often the choice is characterized by the absence complete information and you have to come to terms with the fact that in many situations you can not know with 100% certainty in advance which solution will be better. Sometimes you just need to choose something, and then it will be clear whether you made the right choice or not.

Therefore, you need to use intuition, instead of waiting until your methods give you an unambiguous prediction of the correctness of one or another alternative. But at the same time, one should not overestimate her role and rely too much on her “gut”. For this, there is a formalized approach that is designed to balance your mind and feelings, logic and intuition. The right balance between these things is the art of decision making!